


Common Fate: Gestalt

by JLKnox



Series: Principles of Gestalt [7]
Category: The Rook (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Declarations Of Love, Foodgasm, Lesbian Sex, Multi, Mystery twist, Reconciliation, Reconciliation Sex, Separation, So much talking, Talking, To be concluded, breakup masturbation, completed work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2020-10-26 04:36:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 52,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20736326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JLKnox/pseuds/JLKnox
Summary: In the stunning (long, drawn-out) conclusion to Principles of Gestalt, New Myf continues her press tour with Clifton, Grantchester decides upon trial by fire, nothing goes according to anyone's plan, and eventually our heroes have to consider whether the Checquy will allow them to share a common fate.All chapter headings are measuring time from the last part -- "Closure:Teddy"





	1. Immediately after

Her amazing kiss leaves Teddy breathless, and the two lie in bed, softly touching and kissing. But all of me is wiped out and Teddy is shagged in every sense of the word. That hour he spent unconscious in the chair barely counted as sleep, and depleted, he can barely keep his eyes open. He murmurs something unintelligible, even I have no idea what, exactly, but as his eyelids lower, I can tell that Myf is someone who gets energized after orgasm. I feel the pressure on the bed dip and release as she gets up, some quick footsteps, and then all sensory information from there is gone. 

I lift Eliza’s head up off the floor and pull her phone out of her purse. Neither male body is equipped to fully straighten out to retrieve a phone from their pockets.

“Come get me. More bodies is better, remember?” Myf sends back a thinkmoji and a winkmoji. Bleeding hell, is she insatiable? Well, I do have theories about her being touch-starved from before the memory-wipe; if she ever dated I never knew about it. The phone pings again and three faces blush when she reminds me that she still doesn’t know my address. I send her a pin and go about trying to revive myself enough to receive her.

After several minutes of struggle, I get Eliza to her feet. She dumps every cube of ice from the freezer into the sink and runs the water as cold as it will go. Robert is now upright, comes into the kitchen, gathers Eliza’s hair behind her and quickly submerges her face, pulling her out just as fast. The emotional shock is impossible, since I know it is coming, but the cold still smacks nerve endings like a cricket bat. Both help Alex up, bring him to the sink and repeat the process, multiple times. Robert settles for a cold cloth since his body is mostly functional by this point -- having one on the back of the neck and on the forehead works together almost like a circuit, zapping his consciousness into alertness.

Stumbling into the lav, I go about fixing Alex’s hair, while Robert rearranges two of my go-bags. I have no idea if I’ll be in any shape to return tonight, but it’s half-three and if Teddy sleeps a full eight hours, it will be late. And if I don’t stay, no worries, but no harm in being prepared. Alex takes the bags and slips in a few extra toiletries, then heads down to the SUV. Before heading into the garage, on a whim, I have him look into the lobby, and Myfanwy is there. The porter waves her through, but some panic crosses her face as she realizes I didn’t give her my flat number.

“Rook Thomas, thank you for coming,” Alex says with a teasing but exhausted grin. “If you’ll come back to the garage, we’ll be on our way.” Eliza’s changed into more casual clothing and she and Robert move toward the lift, only leaning on each other slightly. Myf eyes the bags.

“Plans for this evening, Rook Gestalt?” she replies, matching his tone. He shrugs nonchalantly and once in the car park, drapes his arm across her shoulder, only leaning on her slightly. Once at my car, I toss the bags into the boot, hand Myfanwy the keys, and drape Alex’s frame across the back seats.

“Please drive,” I whine. It’s unbecoming but I just don’t have the energy to explain how little energy I have, so sounding like a child will have to do. She snorts and gets in the driver’s side, adjusting mirrors and the seat from Robert’s positions.

“I was going to say that you weren’t all going to fit in my mini, but if it’s just Alex I suppose we could.” She startles a little as the fraternals come up alongside, Eliza to her left and Robert behind her. I have Eliza lean over and give her a kiss on the temple as Robert tries to physically manipulate Alex’s body so they both fit in the back. The result is unflattering and I roll Robert’s eyes.

I convince her to stop at a Tesco en route, and Robert gets a few takeaways as well as some ingredients she doesn’t have stocked. She says something about delivery and I raise an eyebrow as we’re checking out. “Eliza’s ordering as we speak, love. We should try to beat it there because I really don’t enjoy being woken before I’m rested.” It’s her turn to roll her eyes, but we get a wiggle on and manage to get back to her flat before the Chinese food arrives. Eliza stays down in the lobby to wait for it so the doorman won’t ring up, despite the fact that Teddy is still completely unresponsive as we all move around inside preparing for more food.

Me and Myf are all standing around the kitchen, waiting for Eliza, unwilling to sit because we’ll just have to get up again once the food arrives. Three thumbs are in my mouths, worried about everything that happened, on every level. Having to tell her about Teddy, having slept with her for the first time, having all my bodies shorted out at once. It makes me vulnerable – emotionally and physically – and it makes me more nervous than I’ve been since I was being “trained” at Glengrove.

“Sooooooo…” Myf says, trailing off, bouncing nervous weight against the counter, taking in two thumbs being gnawed down to the quick. “You’re freaking out, I guess?” Both heads whip around to look at her, then look down at my thumbs. A unison shrug. Honestly, I’m too tired and too buzzed – or whatever – to be able to compartmentalize much more than tipping the driver and getting back up to this flat.

“It’s a lot to take in,” I say from Eliza as she walks in the door. I busy myselves sorting the options I ordered for her, arranging the chopsticks and storing one container in the microwave for Teddy if he wakes up tonight. “How about you?” Eliza takes Myfanwy’s hand and look at her straight on.

“I’m freaking out, I guess,” she replies, with a half-nod and a half-shrug. “I should have known, maybe? I mean, I asked if you were safe, but then I just wanted to be with you. I knew what happened last time and I knew you said more bodies were better. But sex-Myf took over and I just…” I nod three heads. Robert hands her a container and some chopsticks and we make our way to our usual spots in the living room.

Eliza scoots closer to Myf on the couch. “I know what you mean,” I say as I cup her cheek in Eliza’s palm. Alex continues, “Sex-Gestalt wasn’t thinking very clearly, either.” Robert smiles gently. “There was a lot I could have done better.” Alex is clumsily trying to sit on the floor and managing to miss. The result is more awkward than flying and much less graceful. He laughs it off, reflexively, but I’m glad his container is still sealed because his white tracksuit is a bugger to clean. “And I had a very, _very _good time. I just think, until we figure out what exactly is going on, there should always be at least two of us with you.” She chews the end of her hair and nods slowly. “…if you want a next time, that is?” I have Alex ask, since it worked so well at the bridge.

She’s nodding very slowly, with almost the whole top half of her body, and my chest feels like an open pit with four times the gravity of Earth. I fucked it up. It was too much. I should have driven over here when she cornered Teddy, let Eliza take over, make more bodies so it wouldn’t happen again. But sex-Gestalt just drove home on autopilot.

“It was pretty scary,” she finally says, softly. “Seeing you like that, not getting a response from you.” Eliza puts her food down and wraps her arm around Myfanwy’s shoulder. She leans in to Eliza’s back. Alex puts down his food while Robert eats a little.

“I caanneven imagine,” Alex says, with an honest and open look on his face. “It scared me and I wassn all ‘ere. I could hear ya, I could feel ya, but it dinnint feel like I was in my body – any of my bodies.” Eliza smooths Myf’s hair and joins in. “But I’m okay, I’m here, I’m out of it but I’m functioning.” Robert chews and swallows and then points at her with the chopsticks, “And if that’s the price of admission, I’ll pay it every time.” I try a saucy wink and mostly succeed. Eliza picks it back up, “But seriously, I’m already working on some theories and I think I’ll know more soon.”

Myf looks up, hopefully. “Really?” I nod three heads at her, affirming. She leans back and kisses Eliza, almost exactly from the same position as she did Teddy earlier. My hands slide down her arms and around her waist. I abandon Robert and Alex’s food, having them move the coffee table away from the couch. I place Robert on her right, kissing her neck, as Alex resumes his floor position more successfully and places his head in her lap. Three – maybe even four – bodies sigh as Myfanwy’s hands tangle in Alex’s curls. This time is a little easier on everyone with all bodies nearby: not a single bloody lip and no out-of-body experiences.

It’s better to be fully present, but damned if I don’t miss that jolt of electricity shocking through all four of me.

\---

Somewhere in the weekend, I did manage a few calls.

Monday’s schedule was mostly able to be cleared in the afternoon, just an appointment or two that required one of me to attend, but I got my carers at Glengrove to round-robin me in for a set of MRIs to establish a baseline.

Robert and Alex were first and I explained the issues more in-depth to the techs while I was there instead of over the phone where it might not be secure. Since some of these scientists also treated Myfanwy – or at least knew her power and classification – I had to hedge a little. I described it as electromagnetic powers, rather than the neurotransmission, but that was enough to have them do some looking at my brains for side effects. Sooner or later I’d have to come all the way clean, though, or at least mostly.

But I haven’t had the vetting-officer conversation with Myfanwy yet. Which is what I’m telling myself is the reason she’s so standoffish at the Rookery. Or that she still has to work with a King’s Bishop who would prefer her dead, or at least scared. Or that she’s just freaking out about the whole thing and maybe regrets any number of things we did on the couch or nearby. I mean, four bodies – who can handle that?

“Try to think of nothing”, the tech says over the speaker.

“Eliza and Teddy are in the field, I can’t think of nothing,” Robert and Alex say, to cover.

“Mmmm-hmmm,” comes the disbelieving reply.

Regardless, I keep one set of eyes on her most of the day, if for no other reason than Bishop Clifton has yet to be dealt with.

\--

Back at the Checquy, Eliza meets with the King. Teddy is recording the meeting, but saves the footage separately and loops video overtop again. There was plenty of this under Farrier, and I’m happy to do it to protect Myf, but it feels rubbish every time. This organization is supposed to be getting better, but it seems like the same shite, different day.

“I hate to question you, sir,” I’m saying through Eliza, “especially after you demonstrated how far you’re willing to go for the safety of your agents with the Danilov op.” A long breath in from both parties, and a head-tilt from Grantchester to indicate I can go on. “And I’m happy to keep protecting her, but it feels like an inefficient use of my time when we know the cause.”

Conrad exhales. “I agree entirely. I have something in the works, but unfortunately, it is difficult to engineer life-threatening circumstances during a diplomatic tour. Even if I ground Clifton from the tour which is already planned, she’s already got the routes and itineraries and could easily access the information if it changes. As long as she has contacts in each country – and she has – she can stage any number of attacks from any direction.”

Eliza stands, vehemently. “Then don’t send Rook Thomas. You’ll be intentionally endangering her life!”

The King nods with his fingers steepled. “Be that as it may, facing constant threats is part of life as a Queen. Thomas is coming into her power, and her training continues to go quite well. Perhaps it’s time we take off the training wheels.” The look Conrad gives me is much more knowing than I’d prefer.

“All due respect, sir, she’s attacked on her first foray and your response is to consider _removing_ her security detail while sending her on tour _with her attacker_?!?” Eliza’s scathing glare is second-to-none but just for effect, I bring Teddy into the room unbidden.

“No fucking way!” I say, Teddy’s face red and fists clenched as I stand just a little too close to the King for anyone’s comfort, even mine. Is this what I’m doing today, getting sacked – which will mean killed – for a woman I’ve slept with <strike>twice</strike> once?

A woman who has always been there for me… until she wasn’t?

“Rook Gestalt, I will remind you that I am not your target, I am your _boss_. And I am Thomas’ boss. Your operational input is valued regarding this matter. Thank you.” He stands, displacing Teddy without a word as a pocket of air near my face turns thin and sour. Shit, I hope this won’t mess with the MRI results.

Stunned, I keep Eliza seated as Teddy sways. Grantchester looks back at me from a seamless filing cabinet built into the wall.

“Did I not make myself clear? You are dismissed.”

Unsteadily, I make my ways out of the room.

\--

I have Teddy swap his suit jacket for one of Alex’s spare tracksuit tops and trainers, then takes a jog around the block to clear his head. Whatever Conrad did to the air must have been mild, or else this body is too much of an ox to be taken down. Either way, hopefully by the time Robert gets back from New Glengrove, the effects will be gone, but I’ll note it to the techs before I leave the first time.

I’m reading through the European press tour itinerary and notice that Clifton’s normal bodyguard has been replaced with an agent I trust, and Thomas will have a new recruit from Glengrove. One who is famously fearful of Teddy but a little sweet on Eliza. Perfect.

Moving Eliza through the Rookery, I scan for Sergeant Milkbottle. I’ve already forgotten his name – I never learn the names of cannonfodder until they’ve been here at least nine months – but I’ll know him when I see him. I attempt what passes for a polite smile from Eliza, and the poor Pawn freezes. Hmm, maybe he prefers the Ice Queen, so I blank her face.

“You. I need a coffee.” Milkbottle stammers something about running to the food truck for me, and I swing Eliza’s ponytail with a headshake. “No. We’ll go together.” Poor boy tries to hide a blush and a smile as we head toward a secret passage that leads away from the exterior. “Pawn…” I pause and it takes him a second to supply his name. “Pawn Zhang, thank you, I see that you are assigned to be Myfanwy Thomas’ security detail for the next six weeks on the Amnesty International tour.”

“Ma’am, yes, ma’am.”

“Cut the gender crap, you will address me as Rook.”

“Yes, Rook Gestalt.”

“Better. What dialects of Chinese do you speak?”

“Rook?”

“Answer.”

“Are you profiling me based on my last name, Rook?” this comes out tentatively, barely a squeak. I put Eliza in his space with all the threat of Teddy’s best intimidating demeanor.

“You are aware there was an attempt on Thomas’ life?” I demand.

“Yes, Rook.” I pin the pawn’s shoulder to the wall.

“And you are aware the caught assailant spoke Mandarin and Wu?”

“N--no, Rook.” I pin the pawn’s other shoulder to the wall.

“So I assume the King handpicked you in case China – which is under the impression that they own Thomas by way of an illegal auction – attempts another kidnapping.” Eliza’s delivery is cold and emotionless in a way Teddy’s could never be. No spittle flying, no raise in the voice. Just a flat, terrifying tone of near-disdain. “So answer the question.”

“Mandarin, Wu, and Yue, Rook Gestalt.”

“Thank you. You and Clifton’s detail will report to my office tomorrow morning for an official briefing and assessment.” Still holding both his shoulders, I lightly press her thumbnails just under his joints without actually causing pain but conveying the potential to do so. I move her mouth to his ear and breathe out softly. “But unofficially – Zhang – if Thomas returns with so much as a papercut, I will be very, _very_ unhappy.” Moving her head back, I make eye contact with the pawn and flutter her eyelashes. “Understood?” A small, sweet smile accompanies me releasing his bodyweight to his not-quite-steady knees.

The newb nods fervently and breathes in deeply.

“So how about that coffee?”

We make our way in _companionable _silence. As we near the food truck, a mismatched Teddy returns from his run and gives Zhang just enough of a glower to make him whimper. Eliza smiles sweetly again and pays for the coffees, then heads inside through the throng of protesters.

\--

I try to get some idea of the MRI results from the tech using Robert, and although she has only been on my medical team for a decade, or maybe because of that, she is tight-lipped.

“You know the doc needs to look at it, and needs to see all four to interpret correctly.” Robert nods curtly and fills her in about Teddy’s experience with Conrad’s atmospheric manipulation, the time, and what measures have been taken since. She rolls her eyes and sighs. “It’s not ideal, but we’ll deal.”

The bodies swap just in time to see Myfanwy as she heads into her de-brief with Clifton and Grantchester. Alex gives the Bishop an uncharacteristic glower, echoed by Teddy’s entirely characteristic one. Myf tucks her hair behind her left ear and it flashes a watch with a green band to match her alligator shoes. Four bodies exhale and smile slightly – she may be tentative at the office, but she’s still thinking of me.

I nod at my selves as they pass in the hall, handing myself my keys for the spectacle, despite the fact that there’s a copy in each pocket. It’s the little things.

I think about when I will see her again, how long I should wait. My weekly meetings are with almost-Rook Woodhouse now, but tomorrow’s brief with the security detail will feature a short introduction with the two women they will be protecting. After that there will be just one night until she leaves for Paris and is gone for six weeks. Maybe I should only ask for lunch tomorrow? If she wants more she can say…

But for now, Robert and Alex have a mostly-full afternoon: Robert will be attending to the other eight-hundred things happening in Britain’s EVA community, and Alex will be at the train yard, installing and checking surveillance equipment in the private train car which will be coupled to each train for every leg of the tour. Pressure sensors on the roof, infrared at every point of entry, cameras interior and exterior, restraints on each seat just in case, some bee venom injections for Myf, and white noise-producing earbuds to counteract Clifton’s persuasive powered abilities. To name a few.

\--

After the MRI, the doctor who has taken care of me second-longest – the first having retired about a decade past – comes in to discuss the results. Without a car, Alex and Robert settle for taking the tube home since not all of me needs to be present for this. I zone them out so there are fewer distractions as Doctor Sutton speaks.

“Can I ask what happened this weekend to make you ask for this? The message I got was rather vague.”

Teddy’s natural instinct is to protect, and before I think it’s out of his mouth, “Nowt, yanno, quiet weekend in. Juss missed ya.” While the last part is overcome by me overcorrecting with Eliza. “Sorry. I ran into an EVA with electrical abilities. I started feeling …less separate… like it was harder to compartmentalize. You can see, however,” I shoot my suited-self a disparaging look, “those side-effects are nearly gone.”

The doc nods and pulls up some images on the smart table in front of her – four, to be precise – with only slight variations between them. “Sure…sure…okay, except that’s bullshit,” she says. “Gestalt, you should know better by now to try to pull one over on me. I can literally see when you’re lying.” The eye-roll is nearly audible.

“Whyntcha juss tell me wassup?” She clicks her tongue and shakes her head, breathing out slowly.

“To be honest, it’s fascinating. I’m glad you came in, because there’s been a betting pool since you were teenagers about whether or not you could fall in love. You just lost me fifty Euro, but I’m extremely intrigued that you’ve proved me wrong. Doc Bedford will be raking it in, however; moreso, it will tickle him beyond belief to find out.” She points at the small spots lit up in the centers of the brain. “Amygdala, amygdala, hippocampus, hypothalamus.” She leaves her finger on an amygdala, “Yours have always been slightly underdeveloped, it’s why you appear indifferent or emotionless most times – they’re rarely lit and even then only dimly. We’ve hypothesized if it was directly tied to your EVA, or if it’s incidental, but haven't been able to determine anything conclusively. Either way, most of us bet against you, except here you are, shining like a Christmas tree. Ok, a really small Christmas tree, like for an endtable. But lit up nonetheless.” She laughs a little and shakes her head. “But this one,” she points to the only one with some bits of green spread among the blue, “indicates vasopressin…meaning you’ve known the person a long while and have a highly developed attachment to them…” The doctor looks up meaningfully, “Teddy.” My biggest body folds his hands and squirms in his seat. “It’s incredible that your compartmentalization carries over to this emotion, where different bodies are handling different aspects of the desire.”

Every body shifts uncomfortably and it’s easier to make Eliza ask, “But if my compartmentalization is carrying through, then why was it so difficult to feel separate…while in contact… during sex?” I never considered myself shy about sexual details, especially since Eliza and Robert have very routine STD testing, but it feels drastically different this time.

“So Rook Thomas’ ability is something we’ve barely begun to understand since she hasn’t used it in nearly twenty years.” All four bodies cough and choke or look away. “Get over it, Gestalt, if it wasn’t obvious from knowing you both, it would be from your description of the EVA’s ability.” She sighs and points to a different part of the brain. “I can see you’re recovering, but these areas of the pre-frontal cortex are what are active when you are at your most separate. They control attention and focus, and when you are all apart doing separate things and having separate conversations, this is a solid block of very bright yellow. This stippling here…it shows that these areas are less active. Even though there were only two of you here, from the way this appears, I would expect you were all in the same room and falling asleep, beginning to unconsciously act as one.” She waves her hand and mirrored images appear for each brain, showing just slightly lighter yellows in the same area, “Like in these, which were taken simultaneously, while you were asleep.”

Teddy stands up, full of nervous energy at being both found out and called out at once. “So being wif her – erases my walls?” I use Eliza to peer more closely at the images since her eyesight is slightly better and unclouded by a temper tantrum.

Doc Sutton’s face lights up and she gestures animatedly. “I’m not sure if it’s the fact of you being in love, or that her power is called _transdermal neurotransmission_ for a reason, hello, but I’d expect a combination of both. I’m going to call for a series of tests where she is present. Ideally, I’d test you while you’re in the act, but I’m afraid all the equipment needed would interfere with the arousal factor. Hmmm…of course, Doctor Masters did it in America, but all of his work is in question, still it bears thinking about.”

I raise Eliza out of her seat and fix Sutton with a straightforward blank stare. “I regret that however enticing that may seem, Myfanwy will be leaving on Wednesday and not returning for six weeks. I’m unsure that I could convince her in that time to submit to testing which will undoubtedly result in a vetting interview as well as being invasive and unappealing.” The two women lock eyes in a staredown which will not be lost by me, I am certain. Teddy breaks in to ensure it. “I could prolly get her to come here, tho – as preparation for leaving for so long. An tell her I need her help wit dis. She was pretty scared when it ‘appened.”

The doc turns around to look at Teddy. “She was frightened? How could she tell?” In the way which happens when I’m flustered, both bodies exchanged parts of the sentences while I explained the exact reaction I had during and after sex. “Incredible!” the doc is on a roll, now. “An electrical stimulus of the amygdala would normally cause an aggressive or overly emotional response. Except with you, it seems to disorient and overwhelm your limbic system. How it’s affecting your primary motor cortex is a mystery I need to explore, but the images show that it is definitely changing your prefrontal cortex and the way you separate your selves. I’m guessing that it has something to do with the hypothalamus kicking in to regulate the aggressive response because you don’t want to hurt the one you love. Wow, this is… we need a team.”

“No team,” I bark, using Teddy for maximum effectiveness. “Not yet.” I look at myselves and Robert and Alex let themselves into the flat. Alex texts Ingrid to get a trip to Glengrove put into Thomas’ schedule for tomorrow, and after a lot of bitching, wheedling, and stressing of the importance, it’s done. Eliza continues, “I’ll bring Thomas tomorrow on the condition that she not be named in the charts or study, and this information is not passed to the vetting officers yet. It’s early days and she’ll be away for more than a month. I have no idea where this is going.” Both bodies look away.

“Of course, of course,” says Sutton. “We’ll need you to talk, touch, and possibly kiss…perhaps that will be enough to get an idea. Oh, it’s incredibly fascinating. I’m so happy for you! And for me!” She’s practically giddy. Of course, this can’t be published outside a very very small and secret community, but as there are EVAs everywhere, it’s possible I will bring her international fame. Whoop-de-doo.

“You said Bedford is owed some winnins?” Teddy asks, with a tiny touch of a growl. The doctor nods. “Collect ‘em by tomorrow. I’ll be deliverin ‘em to ‘im.” There’s some flustered falderal about scheduling and getting people to remember. “That’s yer problem, innit? If nuthin else, you cover an have people pay you. I spect to have somethin t’deliver. Tomorra.” A miniature lunge emphasizes my point, and the doctor nods. I leave simultaneously, nothing like going out on a threat.


	2. The week of departure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SCIENCE! Myf goes to New Glengrove to help study Gestalt's brains, and after she leaves for her diplomatic tour, Gestalt visits their old doctor to get the lowdown on what's happening.  
\---  
As always, I process my hope and optimism through Alex, so it comes out of his mouth when I say, “But I learned to compartmentalize. It’s almost reflex by now thanks to decades of training. I can practice, right?”
> 
> “Pfft. Ask Roy Sullivan if you can practice being struck by lightning, boy.”

Myf had looked pretty distracted after her meeting with Clifton and Grantchester, preoccupied with details and plans, I’m sure. She never came back to the Rookery, but was working in her office near Conrad’s; Alex saw her on a feed I have running on a tablet. I had plenty of security preparations to attend to, considering the six-week tour was leaving the day after tomorrow, so I did not notice her leave. Since we were all preoccupied with Sutton’s information, it wasn’t until Teddy was driving home that I thought about texting her, so I turned Alex & Eliza’s attention to the conversation.

“New watch?” Eliza sends. “I like that it matches the shoes.”

We get the grinmoji back followed by “I saw it and couldn’t resist.”

I’m not entirely sure why NewMyf has taken to emojis so strongly, but at least she still uses full sentences and punctuation alongside. I’ve considered it… but haven’t been able to respond in kind; the cartoon faces don’t feel very ‘me’. Maybe Alex? No, not even Alex.

Emojiless, Alex sends back. “Need a favor tomorrow. Cleared it with Ingrid, did she tell you?”

“No, she hasn’t, but good thing you checked … with my pre-departure training eval at New Glengrove tomorrow, things are going to be tight. I’m surprised she’d let Lucy schedule something behind my back.”

“Oi! – you’re going to NGg tomorrow anyway? Ingrid gave me so much shit for that – I will need to find a good way to get her back.”

“…Probably because she’s not my assistant anymore and she wanted to make you squirm? Remember you will likely be co-Rooks with her before long…”

Fucking hell. She’s right. Talk about learning curve. Note to self: get cell number of Myf’s new assistant, Lucy. And Zhang.

“Right. Shit. Well, I’ll apologize tomorrow. I’m having some tests done in the med-wing at NGg tomorrow. Stop in before your eval? Sutton needs you to participate at one point.” Eliza takes over as Alex texts a rudimentary apology to Ingrid.

“=Participate=?” I get the thoughtmoji and the winkmoji.

“Not bloody likely,” Eliza replies. “At least…I told her not yet.”

“Good. Honestly not wanting to have the vetting-interview before leaving for Paris.”

That makes sense. Probably explains the standoffishness at work. And she must be incredibly busy with preparations.

“Understood. Still, I’d be happy to drive you there and offer you lunch on the way back. Since we both have business there, it is just efficient.”

“Entirely efficient, proper, and above board.” More winkmojis.

I consider…and decide against…sending any of the numerous affirmative emotion icons. I just can’t.

\---

Kinda wished she’d invited me over tonight, but not enough to risk asking. I mean, she has to pack and prep, I’m sure. Some OldMyf tendencies have carried through, and that one would have color-coded the inventory of her suitcase. I didn’t see anything like that in Brussels, but I didn’t snoop too much.

[Intermission to remember dinner in Brussels]

Truth be told, I still have work to do at home, getting authorizations for all the cities’ security feeds and finding ways around it if I’m denied. It’s for the best, I guess, but there’s always a chance, so I keep my phone nearby while I work.

\---

I arrive at the office tomorrow with a peony for Ingrid. Just one, because the transgression wasn’t that dire. Robert slips it into her water glass with a saucy apology, verbally addressed to “Proto-Rook Woodhouse.” She tries to keep a straight face but smiles approvingly when she thinks Robert’s back is turned, but Eliza can see her through the glass hallway. Well done, me.

The briefing with the security detail goes well. Bishop Clifton is out of sorts because I reassigned her usual security detail and have assigned my right-hand agent. I mean, I’m my own numbers 2-4, but after me, I trust Costa more than any other. She’ll keep a closer eye on Clifton than most, and unlike Zhang, she’s been let in on my suspicions. Grantchester also approved payroll for round-the-clock video surveillance of Myf – at least one of me will be in London for the whole six weeks, and if I’m knackered I can make a Pawn do it.

Mid-morning, I gather the Proto-Queen (might as well stick with it) from her office on the next floor up and we chat about the trip and flirt through the drive. Teddy slows as he approaches the new facility. All four of me take a deep, slow, breath in as it gets nearer. Myfanwy reaches out and squeezes Eliza’s hand.

“You good?” Four heads nod and I park.

“Good as can be,” Alex smiles convincingly. “You as well?” Myf shrugs and nods. I know she saw the plaque of the old Estate, but she must not have recovered the actual memory as of yet. “Right, then. I assume you’ll be changing afore yer eval? Can ya stop by med on your way?” She nods and I get a discreet peck on Alex’s cheek.

“If you look real cute in your paper gowns, we might have that vetting convo today, after all!” Her grin is enough to drop Eliza’s panties, but just as well that’s what we’re testing for today.

I check in and change, letting the tech know that Myfanwy’s on her way down. Since Teddy is the outlier, he’s escorted to a different room, and to get a different read, Eliza’s sent to a single as well. Sutton wants to replicate the full feeling of Sunday, but I was insistent, so we’re trying for what happened with the Jeep.

“Hey Gestalt,” Myf says, now wearing a tracksuit as she walks in the room where Teddy is undergoing a full MRI. He’s already been subjected to pictures of her flashed across the roof of the machine, right in my field of vision. She takes my hand, and they must have her mic’d into the system because even over the noise of the machine I can hear her say, “I was joking about the paper gown, but I hadn’t really had a chance to appreciate those calves…” I can feel the heat on his cheeks and the heartrates of my other bodies accelerate. She plants a kiss into my palm before saying goodbye.

She visits Eliza next, who just has sensors hooked up to her scalp and chest. “Not so sexy,” I say with a bit of a wry smile. The tech must have given her instructions in the hallway, because Myf just shrugs and comes in for a kiss. Despite the clinical feel and smell in the room, I’m soon lost in it, all of my heads swimming, allowing myself to drift away briefly as our tongues entwine and I pull her as close as I can amid the wires. Her knee lands between Eliza’s on the reclining cot and I bend mine up to rub between her thighs. She gasps and laughs and returns to fully standing.

“Thank you, we have enough. Please go out the door on your left.” Myf waves and is led lastly into the room where Robert and Alex are hooked up to similar monitors. She walks between me and holds one hand from each body. After a minute, there’s another comment from the Peanut Gallery, and she leaves to go to her eval, presumably. Robert, Eliza, and Alex are taken to separate MRI rooms and get started on their re-tests. Since Teddy began early, he’s allowed to put on some tracksuit bottoms but is told to leave on his gown. I use this time productively, having him pace and gnaw his thumb. Once we’re all done, all the bodies get wired up to scalp/chest sensors again – but this time all in the same room.

Myfanwy walks through the door, back in her work outfit, and each body startles.

“Myf – watcher doon back ‘ere?”

“I certainly hope you had time to complete your evaluation.”

“How’d it go?”

“Please don’t tell me Sutton kept ya from your testing. I’m hungry and’d like ta get lunch sooner ravver than later.”

She laughs at the barrage, letting me know that she’s done with her eval and the doctor had asked her to come back afterwards. “I’m supposed to choose one of you and they’re going to measure your reactions, I guess?” She pretends to do an eeny-meeny and points to Alex, moving his wires to the side and sitting side-saddle on his lap. “I’ve been assured that no video recording is happening…but you’ll make sure for me, won’t you?” I nod Alex’s head as he runs his fingertips along her undercut and she leans in for another mind-blowing kiss: slow, exploratory, deep, and long. All of the bodies are responding physically, and when Alex’s head rubs against her thigh, she moans and I just about lose it four ways. I begin a breathing exercise with Eliza and count with Teddy.

“That is fine, thank you,” comes the tech’s disembodied voice, but Myfanwy is a little slower to stop this time. “THANK you.” Reluctantly, I have Alex gently pull her shoulder back. She stands up, does a little adjusting of her own, and walks out.

“I’ll be in the waiting room,” she says, “waiting, I guess.” I wave, not trusting myself to say anything, and wait for the techs to come do their prodding. Aside from stripping off the sensors, there is measuring of hardness/wetness levels, seepage, and all kinds of things.

“Is that quite enough,” growls Teddy, with an obvious lack of question mark. The techs look at each other, possibly hearing something over earpieces.

Sutton’s voice comes over the loudspeaker. “I thought you wanted to get to the bottom of this?”

I have Robert smile prettily and say, “I do, but I also have a lunch date and I’m not sure how quantifiable these measurements truly are.”

“Don’t worry, Gestalt, we have baselines for all your usual arousal states. This will help, but you’ve killed the mood now so you may go.”

I roll eight eyes. Because techs with latex gloves and calipers are entirely mood-enhancing.

“Sutton! Bedford’s money!” barks Teddy, just to bring the point back home.

\---

We stop for lunch in a little out-of-the-way place, sitting in the back corner booth. Myfanwy’s going on about her eval, and it’s incredible to hear how far she’s come in just a couple months. I knew she’d been training, but her precision and control sound like they’ve vastly improved.

“I did better today than I have … maybe ever? The proctor asked if anything was different than normal, and I didn’t say it but it did occur to me that perhaps the morning’s activities helped. You know…emotions, strong feelings…”

Blush creeps up four necks and I try not to look away with all of me. Alex grins. “Ace! Well, any time ya need help in that manner…”

She reaches down beside her and takes Eliza’s pinky in hers. “I was actually thinking you could…maybe intersect…with my trip sometime?” It’s her turn to look down at her food. “You know, recharge the batteries?” She gives Robert a naughty wink. “At the halfway-mark, we’ll be in Venice…”

I pick up Teddy’s phone and say, “One moment, putting in for time off and buying tickets.” While Robert smiles a little sadly and says, “Of course, Grantchester is sending Teddy to Budapest and Robert to Antwerp on offsite missions…as of Monday. No idea how long they’ll take or what will be happening in the world.” I curl Eliza’s pinky tight around Myfanwy’s. “But I’d love to come, and I’ll try to get ideally at least two of me to join you.” Robert’s foot slides between hers as punctuation. Alex leans over and whispers in her ear, explicitly, about how much I’m looking forward to it. Her foot slides between Teddy’s in response.

The ride back to the Checquy is much…quieter…than the morning’s, but a lot more exciting. Hands, lips, hair, skin; I lose track of whose is whose as we pass the hour plus. When we near the suburbs, I lean back for breath, clothing straightening, adjustment. It really was a lot easier to drive with all of me here…and of course, I had Eliza take the return trip just in case. Robert’s head is in her lap and I twist so I am looking up at her.

“At the risk of sounding desperate,” Teddy jumps in, “or needy,” Eliza keeps her eyes on the road but peeks back in the mirror, “I’m guessing you are preparing tonight or leaving early and won’t be free for dinner?” Myfanwy sighs deeply. “Charge the batteries before you go?” Alex tosses in, hopefully.

“Can I call you around 8? If I get enough done, I can order some takeout and you can pick it up on the way?”

Eliza smiles, again into the mirror. “Don’t worry about ordering,” comes out of Robert’s mouth. “I know a good place,” finishes Teddy.

“No promises!” shouts Myf, playfully, as she combs her fingers through her hair. I start making a grocery list on Alex’s phone while Teddy is looking up recipes. Life must be so difficult for people with only two hands and one phone. I don’t get it.

\---

While Teddy and Robert tackle the fajitas, Eliza calls Bedford. I’d prefer to see him with all of me before the two leave Monday morning. We chat a bit and he knew that I’d be calling – apparently Sutton stole my thunder – and he’s excited for his winnings. She may have tried to undermine me, but it also made him more eager to not take some sort of trip that retirees take over the weekend. We’re meeting on Saturday, and he said he’d even get my results from Sutton so he could talk them over with me instead of having to go out to New Glengrove again.

Perhaps the supper was presumptuous, but they’re easy to reheat if she doesn’t have time. I can use them a lot of different ways as leftovers. Completely usual for me to make this much. And put them into travel containers. Because it’s 20:15 and I still haven’t heard from her. Five more minutes and then I’ll –

_Bzzt-bzt_

“I’m as ready as I’m going to get. You said you’d bring dinner?”

Food and bodies getting into the car may have broken some sort of record.

\--

“Thank you for the ride, Rook Gestalt – it saves me from having to store my car in long-term,” Myfanwy says entirely unnecessarily as I let her out at the station the next morning. No one from work was around, and London’s CCTV doesn’t have sound yet. But if it made her feel better, I won’t admonish her…with much more than an eyeroll.

Two hours later, the groupchat pings with the double-buzz. Not wanting to seem desperate, I let it sit for five minutes. and it goes off again. Alex may have been keeping more than one eye on the feed of her train car, and she was pretty obviously making eye contact with the cam and wiggling her phone. In the background, Clifton looked up and tracked Myf’s sightline.

Sure, bitch, try and figure out the blind spot – spoiler: there isn’t one. Four smirks pass over my faces regardless of their whereabouts. Alex picks up his phone and spits out his tea.

A captioned pic of Teddy’s jog from Monday – tracksuit top and trainers with suit pants – reads “Awww, I found r/quadsighting. Reddit will keep me company on the trip,” followed by a winkmoji.

The next text reads, “You would not =believe= the heated debate going on about whether this is Cool Twin or Tidy Twin.” Obviously it’s Cool Twin…but wait…Alex isn’t really very…tidy…

Oh.

Robert texts back, “Facetime is a thing. Or Skype. Or Snapchat. Why settle for imitations when you could have the real thing?” Alex sees her chortle in her seat. Zhang flicks his eyes in her direction.

“But this _is _at least…40% you, most of the time.” Her reply brings another photo – this time of some Bowie clone dressing far more outrageously than Robert and who has brown eyes. I wonder if this is one of Danielle’s plants, or if someone really thinks I look like this?

Eliza’s free, so I begin to open a browser, but decide at the last second to enjoy it through Myfanwy’s curation. That seems like a rabbithole I could disappear down and get swallowed by despair in more than one way. Best not.

Instead, I text her back, “Miss you, too, but workin. Text me when you get in, and know we’re on rotation, so you’re never alone.”

_Just don’t take Zhang to a cozy Parisian café…_I think, but there’s another rabbithole there, and Teddy’s fists are already clenching. Instead, let’s think about how there’s only about one-third the number of cameras in Paris than London, so while it was much easier to access them, Myf is much more vulnerable. That was helpful. Apparently my mind contains only rabbitholes, like a reverse Wonderland.

“Will do. Might not call tonight because of Welcome Dinner. But talk soon.” Alex watches her pull out her files and get lost down her own rabbithole of numbers. I should maybe learn something about what she’s working on? But there are also Ops fires to put out all over and the day disappears before I can get too deep into her reports of the Brussels trip.

\--

After a long drive to Bedford’s country home on Saturday, I’m stretching all my legs and taking in the cottage. It’s been months – maybe a year? – since I’ve been out to see him. He’s still sharp as ever, but he never married, so aside from a prissy niece who ducks in every so often, he’s alone out here. Claims he likes it that way, but I worry about all the hazards on the grounds. I fan out in formation, documenting:

  * Gnarled roots in the garden
  * Uneven flagstones
  * Slightly askew porch step
  * Pond
  * Chimney with fire
  * One bar mobile reception
  * Shed leaning a little
  * Are those geese? Swans? They’re going on the list

“Oh Christ, I know you’re a trained operative but I’m not feeble, I ken manage my own threat-assessment ye condescending prat!” Bedford emerges from the below-ground door, making it up the stone steps with ease. “Sides, if ye really cared, ye’d come out an fix a fewa these things, wouldncha?” He envelopes Eliza in a huge hug, knocking Alex on the shoulder. He nods at Teddy, and extracting himself, clasps a hand warmly on Robert’s shoulder. Bedford was instrumental in helping us decide which personas for which body, and he keeps to the assignments strictly.

“You’re right,” I have Robert say, knowing Bedford’s preference for the fraternals. “I’d make short work of most of these in a weekend. If things slow down at the Checquy –“ and I’m interrupted by a plosive snort. Bedford shakes his head, then motions for us to go in the front door.

“Right, and when the sun stops risin in the East, I’ll expect ye.” He lets all of me precede him into the house, saying, “I spose you remember where the kitchen is? Kettle should be whistlin anytime.” As we make our way through to the room near the back, it does just that, and Teddy moves toward it. Herman’s Hermits sing about “_Something good_” from the radio as he fixes the tea (and splashes a little Irish into Bedford’s cup). The rest of me pass the cups down the line because the room is too small for every body. “Not too much, Tedward, I wanter keep my wits to have this discussion.”

It never fails – despite always being just me, I scramble to have the identicals get as much approval from the older man – he remains brusque with them, regardless. He’s a tall and large man, himself, so I decided more than a decade back that these of me must remind him of himself and so he pushes them harder. His treatment of me, despite being the person who understands me on a level no one else ever will, is one of the things that has made me reluctant to enter into any romantic entanglements. I feel so conflicted about it that I can’t imagine how I’d respond if someone favored parts of me over others and sex was involved. Her egalitarianism is one of the things that made me finally decide, too late, that Myfanwy was worth it.

I have Alex hand him both the tea and his winnings as we pass back out of the kitchen and the old man chuckles as he counts, gesturing to what passes for a parlor in the small house. Alex and Teddy sit, despite the long drive, but I smile with Eliza as she announces her intention to stand and Robert leans against a doorframe. Bedford reaches out toward her and I have her join him near his chair, watching over his shoulder as he reaches down and gets a portfolio.

“I’m not gonter show & tell, since Elle here seeing them is enough fer ya.” He blows on his toddy and takes a sip. “I spose that’s fine, maybe a lil heavy on the sauce.” He fixes Teddy with a bit of a mild glare. “But I gotta say, even though I knew it would happen for ye one day, I had no idea you’d get it _this_ bad.” He sets the mug down and rifles through the papers, spreading them out on an ottoman in front of him. “How is it one person can rile ye this much?”

I can’t help it, even though he’s not actually disapproving, I’m nervous. The answer spreads itself through all the bodies and comes out in a jumble of words from everyone. “You see,” “she” “has” “an EVA” “of her own” –

“Settle down, yes, Sutton told me all about this ‘transdermal neurotransmission’. But that’s no reason for you to let your training go to shit here. Talk plain. Robert, I want to hear it from you.” I exchange a glance among myselves, he really is a crotchety bastard, ain’t he?

“Right, transdermal neurotransmission…so I’m fine until she touches me --” and I’m interrupted again by Bedford’s throaty chortle.

“Ahhh, dammit, you know I even won an extra bonus by naming her? I knew it would be Thomas.” He slaps his knee and squeezes Eliza’s hand. “She had such a moonface fer ya, Robert, when you were at the Estate together.” He looks up into Eliza’s eyes. “But she accepts _all_ of you, now? I need to be sure.” His face is suddenly serious, and his concern is touching. I have her smile down at him, nod, and squeeze his hand back. Twenty years ago, it was much different, but now, a bi-flexible love interest isn’t as difficult to come by, and she’s not as judged for being so.

“She does,” I say from Teddy’s mouth. The old man doesn’t know about my decision regarding Teddy, and he doesn’t have to. When I say it was for her, I meant it. “All of me.”

“I see I was right about another thing, too,” he says, looking back at Teddy with that same slight distaste. “You know, Teddy-o, why I chose your body for what ye do? It coulda just as easily been Alexi, here.” Despite the fact that he has nicknames for each of me except Robert, it never feels affectionate toward anyone except Eliza. I bristle involuntarily, and set Teddy’s jaw. “It’s because yer scans showed more sensitivity than the others’ brains. I know you feel it, intensely, when you hurt someone. I know you weigh each action before you take it, and that it costs you. These others, even Elle, their hearts are a little too small.” He pauses for a sip, and I can feel a tear leaking out of Teddy’s eye. “But I knew that you wouldn’t get carried away, because it costs you too much.” He makes eye contact with the large body in the suit, “and I knew you would fall harder when you fell.” He gestures to the blue-and-green scan similar to the one Sutton showed us, but both colors were much more solid and bright in this one.

Teddy shifts his weight on his feet and crosses his arms defensively. “It’s all me, Bedford.”

The doctor rolls his eyes and rocks his head back and forth, mockingly. “Yeah yeah yeah, but you have four brains, Gestalt, and you know it. It’s a fascinating unnatural nature vs. nurture and say what you want but I know I am right. You experience as a whole, but your brains divvied out the roles they’d play even before the Checquy came along. Robert can access the feelings more easily; Alexi can process them; Elle must perform them or be judged harshly… but Tay-o-door is the one to feel them first. It’s all here.” His hand waves over the charts again, and even though I’ve seen scores of them over my lifetime, I still have to trust him to interpret them.

“So tell me what that means, Bedford,” I say as Robert again, knowing it’s safest. “Be that as it may about me; why can I not uphold my training when I’m touching Myfanwy?” All four heads look down at my hands. I have to consciously keep my thumb out of my mouth while I’m here or he will go off even more than he already has. “And furthermore… is it safe?” I hold my collective breath. I honestly have no idea what he’s going to say; I have fears, but I don't _know_.

He looks up over his shoulder at Eliza. “Listen. The electromagnetic charge she puts out fucks with everything, yes? Lights, fuses, wiring, anything plugged in – she doesn’t even have to be touching it. Brains are organs that run on electricity. She’s lightning and you’re the tallest house around and you have four lightning rods.” Eliza’s chin trembles and I don’t trust her to speak. I clear Robert’s throat.

“So…she’s shorting out my brains? Is that why it’s less apparent when there are more of us?” Bedford slowly turns to look at each of me. He frowns and ponders as he flips through test results and brain images.

“That’s a simple explanation, yes. If there's only one of you, she hits that lightning rod and it disperses directly through the house...houses. But with more of you around, the lightning splits _before_ it hits you, goes through each body, and dissipates as it goes. God, what I wouldn’t give for a scan of you while you’re inside her, but close enough.” He keeps considering the scans. “You’re all susceptible, but poor Teddy – he has no surge protector. It will always affect him more.” He looks up again and I tighten Teddy’s posture even more. This is not good news for me. For my job.

As always, I process my hope and optimism through Alex, so it comes out of his mouth when I say, “But I learned to compartmentalize. It’s almost reflex by now thanks to decades of training. I can practice, right?”

“Pfft. Ask Roy Sullivan if you can practice being struck by lightning, boy.” The doctor points out a few things to Eliza. “Sutton told me she explained to you that it’s fucking with your pre-frontal cortex. It controls attention and focus – what you need to stay separate.” He flips and shows her a scan. “This is from last year – nice and bright.” He brings another one to the front. “Look at this – this is yesterday. Lacy as a nice Havarti.” There’s no denying it; yesterday’s scan has a significant amount of visible black.

Eliza puts her hand on Bedford’s shoulder. “Tell me what can be done.” He looks up at her, and a tear or two is sliding down her cheek. There’s actually a significant lack of dry cheeks and a surplus of teacups being held in front of faces. “Roy Sullivan died, you know.”

“Not from lightning, he didn’t.”

“No,” Eliza says, “not from lightning.”

He looks up at her again, stands up slowly and hugs her body tightly. He knows it’s all me, but his paternal instincts are honed most acutely on Eliza, always have been. “You’re stronger than he was, love. Robert seems dramatic, but he won’t kill you for love. Not even Teddy would kill himself for the sake of unreturned love.”

“She returns it.” I insist strongly, emphatically, with Teddy’s most compelling voice. I nod four heads.

“She love you enough to take a beta blocker? Maybe a low dose, just at night?” I suck air through the teeth of two mouths, the other two have thumbs in them. Bedford is sitting down and he sees. “Cut that shit out!” he barks ferociously. The thumbs drop and slide underneath thighs.

“It’ll be a tough sell,” whispers Robert. “She just decided to go off them. It’s given her the freedom to use her power, and she needs it to protect herself.”

Bedford sighs quite lengthily. “Ach, I heard. Queen Myf.” He shakes his head, dramatically putting his hand to his temple. “Lose your memory, gain a crown?” Another sigh. “But those plans she has – she’s quite ambitious, this unburdened Thomas. I’d be impressed if I wasn’t so wary that her reforms will stunt scientific progress.” All four of my faces must look confused. “Bleedin hell. You claim to love her and you have no idea what she’s doing right now, do ya? Just thinking with your genitals? Feckin kids. She won’t protect your brain and you don’t know her plans. But it’s love, innit?” Scoffing loudly, the old man propels himself out of the chair, mug in hand, and comes back with brown liquid to the rim even though he did not pause long enough to brew more tea.

Eliza eases the cup from his hand and takes a sip of the whisky. Ugh, Irish is so bland. He has a point, though.

“It’s been a journey… discovering her new traits and passions but seeing the she that she was when I look at her,” says Robert. Eliza continues, “She’s remembering things slowly, balancing who she was with who she feels like without her heaviest burdens.” She takes another sip and hands the cup back to Bedford after he’s seated again. “Maybe I haven’t had the time to study her plans and speeches in-depth,” says Robert, “…but I know she cares deeply for other EVAs and keeping them safe, and making the Checquy less of a debtor’s prison and more of a supportive community. If that means less of a petri dish for you boffins, then so be it.”

“You’ve always been so focused on the field,” says Bedford. “Even though I believed it could happen, I was really starting to think you wouldn’t let it.”

“I did, though, pops,” says Alex, “an she did, too.” I haven’t dared say much as Alex today because Bedford doesn’t take me seriously when I do.

He sighs again, resigned this time. “Ask her – on an as-needed basis, if she’ll take propranolol about an hour before you guys go on a date, if kids do that still. If it’s not enough, if you still feel wonky, she can mix it with a xanny.” He looks between the fraternals. “And it won’t hurt to train. Go back to basics. Concentrate on being the most you each of you can be in every situation. Try separating things like sight stream as much as possible. Sing four different songs throughout the day without crossing over, especially if they have different time signatures. Visualize walls. All the things we taught you when you were smaller that feel natural now.”

“Doing those things will make me less effective in the field,” says Eliza. “I need to see all the angles, communicate immediately and silently; it's an incredible advantage.”

Bedford shrugs. “If your girl has your way, maybe that won’t be your job anymore.” Shit, I hadn’t really thought about that. “But then again – if it’s love, isn’t it worth it?” For the first time, he looks right at Teddy with an open, questioning expression. “Isn’t it, Teddy?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I read a lot of neurology books, but I'm far from an expert. If you see an egregious error, please feel free to let me know. Otherwise, hope you enjoyed this weird look into a four-brained, one-souled lightning rod. Oh yeah, and smooches.
> 
> [ Roy Sullivan](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roy_Sullivan) was a real guy.


	3. Three weeks out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gestalt meets Myf in Venice for the previously-arranged battery recharge.   
\---  
Laughing, she says without turning, “Is there a gondola ride?” and Robert gets into the car, subtly shaking his head no. She follows looking around, “I guess the canals are a little ways off…” she trails as Alex gets in the car behind her, shuts the door, knocks on the divider and I’m surrounding her with kisses and bodies as the driver pulls away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to get this one up -- it's been a hectic week. In exchange for the delay, this is a pretty long chapter. Thanks for keeping with it!

Three of me are sitting in planes when Myfanawy’s double-buzz goes off on all of the phones.

“You can run, but you can’t hide from r/Quadsighting!” comes her comment alongside a pic of actual me this time: Eliza in workout gear, jogging through the park where Myf and Alex walked last month.

“Is that all?” I send back from Eliza’s phone. “Two more of me were jogging at exactly the same time!”

I get back a disembodied pair of eyes. Creepy.

I power down Teddy’s phone and buckle his belt on the plane leaving Budapest – so I have Alex fill her in on the broad strokes. This particular assignment took much longer than necessary and required some extra bodies and Aldrich again. Truth be told, it could have used Bishop Clifton’s particular cleanup skills, but there was no way she was leaving Myf’s side for even a day. Someone who can excrete acid met up with a powerful telekinetc and opened up empty lockboxes in some very highfalutin banks. Full access and no fingerprints is a pretty sweet setup, but Budapest isn’t the most glamorous place to try something like that. Those details also made it more difficult to track them. Regardless, it was a time, but we’ll see if they’re willing to be of use in return for a commuted sentence.

I smile to remember that the day of the jogging pic, Eliza and Alex were both in London and going a little stir-crazy. In homage, I was sure to put her hair in its own ponytail, even doubling it up so it would swing and hit the back of Eliza’s neck. As I ran, I thought back to that day and watching Myf’s hair swing, teasing her and literally pulling her pigtails even as I did it figuratively in tandem. That explains the smirky grin on Eliza’s face that the snap barely captured.

Even with the time difference, I was able to send Teddy and Robert – in full kit this time – on simultaneous runs. I guess the redditors of Budapest and Patras weren’t as vigilant.

_Bzzt-bzzt._

“Found it!” is followed with several triumphant looking icons, followed by a pic of Teddy jogging this time. “With that moisture-wicking headband, they’ve definitely decided this one is Tidy Twin.”

Harrumph. Honestly, Teddy’s look is cool! It’s just a different kind of cool. You know who uses the word cool? People who aren’t.

So there.

I get Robert up to stretch his legs, walking toward the airplane lav as the next text comes.

“Who’s coming to see me?”

“Don’t you have a speech to give, or something?” I send back from Robert’s phone.

“In 5 whole minutes. That’s longer than people think.”

“Then shouldn’t you be thinking about that rather than worrying about things that won’t matter until I’m there?” Eliza shoots back.

“I’m trying to make myself less nervous by thinking of you naked. I just wanted a reference point.”

“…” sends Alex.

“I’m sure you’ll do your best,” sends Robert, “at picturing any/all of mes naked!” finishes Alex.

A blushmoji comes back followed by “Gotta go!”

Alex fastens his safety belt and puts his seat and tray table in their upright positions. Robert frostily ignores the male flight attendant giving his chic yet wrinkle-free traveling outfit the once-over. I couldn’t coordinate the flights from two different starting points, but Alex can wait in the VIP lounge for the 90 minutes or so until Robert gets there.

If his assignment hadn’t taken so long, I had considered sending Teddy again – practice makes perfect – but at some point a body just craves a familiar bed and I want that one back in London. Besides, regardless of the myriad ways this visit could go, it doesn’t take a precog to guess that it will not be restful. With Clifton obviously unafraid of Eliza, I decided to leave her back for now. She does some stretches in the surveillance room, instead, sending back the “Break a leg!” I send before most of Myf’s speeches.

\--

I fly so often I would think it would have dissipated by now, but there is always this excitement and anticipation, especially if I’m flying commercial. I get restless legs and want to leave – not because airports are bad, per se – but because they’re in between me and my destination. As Robert touches down and grabs his carryon, I move Alex toward the Alilaguna water bus and have him buy the tickets for the next trip as I rush Robert through the terminal.

I settle in for the hour-long trip to the touristy island where Myfanwy’s convention is being held. Although I know it would be best for appearances to have a conversation with myself, I just can’t muster the energy with so much congruent travel in one day, so I pull out my phones. Robert stares into the middle distance, but on Alex’s I broke down a few days ago and started looking at reddit. No amount of scrolling or search terms brings any results from Patras… I guess I have to build my brand in Greece.

Something startles Robert out of his daze and I take the chance to check his pocket for the dozenth time. I brought a little piece of Eliza with me. Nothing much – a token, merely a trifle – that I saw in Tiffany’s at Heathrow when Eliza was returning from a mission. A tiny stacking ring that had little sapphires dotted around it. I had her try it on, it seemed like it would fit Myf’s pinky, and later I took it to the Tiffany’s at Sloane to have the blue sapphires swapped out for green. I’m all me, but this gift struck the Eliza part of me, and seems appropriate as a reminder since pinkies and green are a thing between those two specifically. We hadn’t been together that long before she left, but since I’m here, I thought a wearable reminder of me might be nice.

The bus-boat isn’t designed for standing, so my cramped legs are exhausted by the time it stops at the Lido. I grab my various luggage and go to meet the driver I’d pre-arranged, snapping a shot of her and having Eliza facematch it to the vetted person I was expecting. All good, so I nod at the card which reads “A. R. Gestalt” and say, “that’s me” with both voices. Some things are fun.

“Actually, I think I’d like to walk, if you don’t mind. Would you take the luggage to the flat and I’ll head to the convention hall?” I say this as Alex, and she looks at my track suit, snorts and starts loading the luggage.

“Sono quattro chilometri, ma se vuoi…” Dammit. Four is a lot of kilometers; I’m impatient to see Myf.

“Sorry, could we go to the flat first, I’ve changed my mind,” says Robert. She nods and we’re off. What would have taken me nearly an hour on foot is traversed in just a few moments in the car, so it’s not too long to spend sitting yet again. I survive.

At the flat, I have Alex make arrangements with the driver while Robert showers quickly, changes, and puts his travel clothes out to be laundered: there _may_ be a need for clothes this weekend. I suppose. At the last minute I remember to grab the small box from his old trouser pockets. A porter brings in the luggage but I told him I’d unpack myself, like a rich eccentric. Robert puts up a few cams and a few motion detectors while Alex freshens up, and I’m on our way to the Lido.

The event can’t be that formal, since it is still early evening and it carried over from afternoon, but I had Alex wear the black tracksuit with a woven-silk polo. Robert’s also in black with a knotted white floral-print scarf that looks more like china plates than grandma’s couch. As the two walk in step up the steps and find the right hall, more than a few heads turn. I cut a path through the mingling bodies, several surrounding my gir…my Myf.

Any of her looks would fit in with the couture of Venice, but with diplomats being so conservative, Myfanwy has reeled it in a little with one of the keepable pencil skirts from her old wardrobe, a newer, more daring top paired with a tailored blazer. Being here in front of her is so much better that skype that the prim clothes don’t diminish the pull I feel from her. I peel north and south, putting Robert in her eyeline, loving the way her face lights up when she sees. I promised at least two bodies, and her head seems to twitch wanting to look for the other but not wanting to be rude to her conversation partners.

Alex comes up behind her, putting his right hand on the stubble of her undercut and is met with a jolt so sharp that all of me flinch. I shake Robert’s hand with a hurt look on his face and Myf spins around, immediately understanding.

Her precious, lovely face is filled with nothing but concern as she sees Alex’s – which seems to be laughing a little through the sting – and she touches his cheek, stammering sorrys so fast and high-pitched that it’s difficult to understand. Good thing she’s at a conference by EVAs for EVAs or else it would be much harder to explain.

She turns back to her companions quickly. “Sorry for the fuss, this is my friend, Alex, who came to surprise me. I think we were both a little shocked!” Everyone gives polite laughter at the bad joke, and Robert’s face twists in disbelief. Myfanwy’s…making jokes… in a social situation? I mean, I knew she was more confident, but…

“Sokay,” I have Alex say, “a common Myf-step. Happens all the time wit dis one.” His teasing grin drives the pun home and a couple of folks roll their eyes and begin to drift away.

“I’d love to hear more about that, Minster, but I’m off to Zagreb. You have my contact?” A tall silver fox smiles and lifts his hand as he leaves the circle surrounding Myfanwy.

“That one ain’t gonna be textin ya, izze?” Alex leans into her ear. “Glad Teddy ain’t here then.” She laughs and waves me off a little, so I take a step back. “If you’ll scuse me,” I nod to the others and take Myf’s elbow to point her toward me, “we have a reservation at 8, so I’ll be round to collect ya in…” I pick up her wrist and check her green-banded watch, “20 minutes. K?” She nods distractedly and I move away, making only slightly sinister eye contact with the few people still hovering.

Alex takes a turn at the hors d’oeuvres as I put Robert back in Myfanwy’s eyeline and strike up a conversation with a lovely couple. Her hair is long and thick, flowing over her shoulders in a way that suggests she just unpinned it, and he’s short and dark with a sexy stubble shadow. I make sure to throw in a few eyebrow raises and arm touches to both, letting Alex watch Myf’s expression. Before long, she excuses herself. It worked.

She walks in the opposite direction, however, and Alex follows at a – probably indiscreet – distance. All of me smile as I see her walk into a lav. Saucy minx. I walk confidently into the door. Because it’s locked. And I hear a snicker from inside. The lock clicks and she steps out, reaching one hand out to Alex’s forehead and another to his hand. “Aww, did you make a Myf-step?” she teases, but when her hand touches mine, she presses something cloth into it. “Robert needs to cool it, or this is all you’ll get of me tonight,” she says with a wicked smile, before heading back into the crowd with her lacy pants in Alex’s hand.

I shove them quickly into Alex’s pocket and wander back into the room, lifting my hand to my nose – it’s definitely not rose oil, but it definitely has more of an effect on me. Before she got back in there, Robert had moved away from the couple and was very interested in a snack before retreating into a shadowy corner. It did seem as though she was making her excuses and saying her goodbyes, however, as it was getting close to time to leave.

Once I finished the crostini, I did a crumb-check and then walked toward her, making steady eye contact as I untied the scarf from around my neck. As Robert got near, I began speaking emphatically, “Come along,” I said, draping the scarf around _her_ neck, “our gondola awaits!” And I pulled her toward me, but not too close. Colleagues were in sight, after all.

As I continued pulling her toward the door, Alex bringing up the rear, she gave little pulls to say more goodnights and I finally extricated her entirely. Before we even got fully out of the hall, she’d pulled free of my scarf and was walking freely, between Robert and Alex’s bodies but with a comfortable distance between them. Alex made eye contact with Zhang, letting him know his weekend was free, as previously arranged.

Laughing, she says without turning, “Is there a gondola ride?” and Robert gets into the car, subtly shaking his head no. She follows looking around, “I guess the canals are a little ways off…” she trails as Alex gets in the car behind her, shuts the door, knocks on the divider and I’m surrounding her with kisses and bodies as the driver pulls away.

Robert’s hand is sliding up her thigh under that skirt, only slightly hampered by the constricting material. From behind, I have Alex’s hands under her blazer, nearly encircling her tiny waist and caressing up her ribcage. Nibbling on her ear, I ask her as Robert kisses her lips with three weeks’ absence (and abstinence) behind it, “Do you _want_ to go on a gondola ride?” A soft moan is the only reply I get.

I slowly pull Robert’s face from hers, contemplating. “Hmm… the noise sounded like the word ‘no’ a little, or at least there was an o-type sound…but the tone of voice sounded affirmative. I’m afraid I can’t tell. Should I have the driver turn toward San Marco? We’ll have to get on a ferry and ” The entire time, I’m moving his hand higher up the outside of her thigh, and Alex’s hands are teasing just below her nipples, but he takes one away to threaten to knock on the divider again. She grabs his arm and brings it to her mouth.

“Don’t you dare,” she muffles into his fist while kissing his knuckles, then taking his index finger into her mouth completely. And we spend the rest of the short car tip ‘catching up’. As we pull into the drop-off at the condo, we all smooth hair (except for Alex, no need) and straighten clothing.

“Have t’say, though, from earlier,” Alex starts in as we exit the vehicle, “not so sure it’ll be good for my health to recharge doze batteries…” shit, keep your own counsel for once, Gestalt, “dey seem plenty zappy to me!”

She reaches down for Alex’s right hand and kisses his fingers. “I’m really sorry! I’ve been practicing keeping a low-level hum going. Generally, it just makes people get a static shock if they brush against me but I guess it’s more intense if they touch skin.”

I nod both my heads, and have Robert say, “It seems like a good idea, considering the company you’re keeping. Have there been any developments with that? Unfortunately, my sound options in London are limited.” We’ve gotten into the flat, kicking off our shoes at the door and vaguely wandered toward the view.

“Do you really want to talk shop right now? I mean, it’s been a whole three minutes since we were making out in the car, so if you’ve changed your mind…?” I shuck the jackets off both men shaking my heads furiously.

“I was only jokin,” I say with Alex, “I would very, very much like t’charge ya batteries.” I’m pulling socks off both and a belt off Robert, who comes up behind her to say, “Please,” quietly as his hands pause at the zipper of her skirt. Her head nods slightly, and with two pairs of hands, disrobing her takes hardly any time at all. Both of my bodies still have trousers on, so Alex picks up Myf in a honeymoon carry and finds the closest of the three bedrooms as Robert strips and follows behind, carefully placing his trousers – and the box in the pocket – on a sofa.

It’s much easier for Alex to slip off his tracksuit bottoms as I lie on the bed with Myfanwy, kissing and touching everything I can reach. Her hands tangle up in his hair and she moans a little as she tugs on the curls. I love the way it feels and relax into it as I bring her hips closer. Her body is as ready as mine, wetness gliding against Alex’s cock, but she turns toward Robert as I bring him in and sit him at the head of the bed, lowering his eyes. It helps diffuse the lightning to have two bodies here, but sexually, it’s nice to limit the number of sensory inputs and focus on just the body with Myfanwy.

She’s having none of it and crawls away from Alex to come kiss Robert’s lips, until I open his eyes.

“Sleeping?” she asks, kissing along his jawline. Noticing Alex has dropped away, she looks behind her and reaches out a hand. I scoot slightly up the bed.

“Hardly,” I say with both voices. “It is just better for me, during sex, to only have one set of senses. Otherwise, it gets too overwhelming.” Alex comes up behind her and kisses her shoulders as Robert kisses her collar bone. “Kissin’s good,” I say between pecks, “because letting it wash over me is an amazing feeling,” Robert continues. “But if I hafta ackshwally _perform_, there’s too much feelin if…” talking becomes impossible as she softly takes one penis in each hand at the same time. It’s not entirely like the lightning – although that’s there because it’s her – but more of a feedback loop where I feel her hand and feel my other selves feeling her hand and feel her other hand and feel my other selves feeling her other hand and tiny circuits short out in my brain.

Thank all holy things that Teddy is still on the plane.

My faces go slack, Robert falls forward slightly and Alex puts out a hand to his side to support his weight, then slowly crumples on top of it. Her face is amazed as she slowly releases first Alex, then Robert, feeling them deflate.

“Oh no! I broke Gestalt!” her voice is a mixture of laughter and real concern. I’m supporting Robert across the pillows of the bed and Alex is waving his hand dismissively.

“S’like the time I got nutted durin sex. It’ll pass, gimme minnit,” I do breathing exercises with all four bodies, trying to clear the static and electricity from my brains. She snuggles back into Robert, bringing his arm around her. After a little bit, the smell of her revives me, and Robert begins kissing behind her neck.

Remembering something I wanted to do in Belgium, as Eliza, I kiss slowly up her vertebrae from her shoulders, licking as I go. Right below the base of her skull, I pause with my mouth open, incisors pressing into the flesh of her neck. With my free mouth, Alex says, “Tell me when to stop,” over her tiny whimpers. She reaches out and puts Alex’s hand between her legs, and she is soaking wet. Alex grins as Robert increases the pressure gradually, washing her neck with my tongue as I feel the bones beneath my teeth and the tendons sliding under her skin. Her whimpers get louder, but she’s grinding her hips against Alex’s hand, keeping him there as I keep biting down. When I think I’m about to break the skin, she full on screams and throws her body back fully, riding out an orgasm and finally panting, “Enough, ohgod, enough.” As she grinds against Robert behind her, I lose it, and my own orgasm spills up against the small of her back.

I try to slide one of Alex’s fingers inside her, but she is clenched tightly and I don’t think she’d respond well to that particular type of hurt. As she opens her eyes, she smiles at the look on Alex’s face, which Robert can see is sheer, unadulterated joy. “Oh no! I broke Myf!” Robert says, in a mirror of her earlier reaction. “It was so fuckin sexy to watch that…” I say as Alex. She smiles softly in return.

I pull Alex’s hand away and get up to find a towel. Normally, I wouldn’t fuss about it, but that was some kind of fun for her, and I am sopping, not to mention the wet spot. On the way back, I stop at the carryon and grab a strand of rubbers. She’s been kissing Robert but pauses to look around as I reach for one each, so I also grab the towel from myself and dry her off.

Seeing her questioning face, I say, “Ah, yeah, Alex has HPV, and I’m waitin on Robert’s last round of tests to come back. So, safety is a must!” She ponders and nods at this, but then pulls Alex back down so she’s laying between me and alternating kisses. Since Robert’s body has already had its release, I gently encourage her toward Alex. She takes a rubber and slides it over me. Tentatively, I find my way to her and pause, making eye contact. She reaches down and guides me in, breathing out a long, “yessssss,” which I echo with a moan of my own.

Slowly, I move against her, trying to contain myself after my earlier lack of restraint. On our sides, facing each other, it’s a little awkward, though, so I move us until I’m above her. As I thrust in, I lean down for an occasional kiss, and as she pulls my curls, she says, “I’ve missed you, Gestalt,” and I feel myself stiffen even more. Bloody hell, she’s beautiful. I kiss her again, and she leans into it, bringing her knees up around my ribs and pulling herself up over me.

I can’t keep it slow like this, I am going insane. Just as I’m about to pull her ankles to her ears, she says, “Turn me over?” and I’m so fucking ecstatic it must radiate off Alex’s face. I pull out, flip her over and am back inside her while barely breaking stride. I grab the bend of her hips and thrust as deeply as I possibly can, and the earthy growl that comes from her throat would do Teddy proud. “God, yes, Gestalt, fucking fuck me!” The flickering lights echo her demand.

As I build my rhythm faster, I slide Robert closer next to us and see if I can manage one small thing. Robert’s hand caresses her navel, and I slip one finger between her legs, trying not to touch myself as I find her clit. Unearthly noises emerge from Myfanwy as she’s grinding her ass against Alex but also enjoying the pressure from Robert. For some reason, the sound of our bodies slapping together reminds me of jogging and Alex reaches up to gather Myf’s hair into a ponytail in his fist. She surprises me by leaning down and clamping her mouth on Robert’s shoulder, biting down _hard_ as the angle drives her ass deeper into Alex.

The pain is sweet and gorgeous, and it’s a good thing I put a rubber on Robert just in case, because a small second spurt arrives right before I can’t take the pain from her bite anymore. Alex wraps the ponytail around his fist once, pulling her head up and off Robert. We’re all panting heavily, and Robert keeps the pressure on her as Alex gets closer.

“Ah, Myf… Myf, imma cum. God, fuck, I’m cumming, Myyyffffff…” Alex thrusts deeper, jerking against her several times as I culminate again, I lick Robert’s finger and return it to her clit, hoping to get her off before Alex gets much softer. As he finishes, I take another page from the jogging date and swat her ass lightly, just once.

And that did it. She presses back against Alex and down against Robert, hips jerking as she moans, spewing more curses than it ever occurred to me she might know. Her pussy clenches around Alex’s softening dick, pulling it into her before she collapses on the bed, half on Robert, with Alex landing half on her.

We lay there in a tangle for a bit before she pokes Robert in the side. “Water,” she croaks, and I laugh, getting Alex up to come back with the cup from the bathroom. And without a soiled condom sticking to me.

“Share,” I say, passing it around. “I ain’t goin to the kitchen for more cups.”

“Guess you got your gondola ride, after all…” she says, taking a swig. I raise a questioning eyebrow. “What? Some people call it a canoe, but when in Venice…” she gestures downward and we all chortle and eyeroll at the bad joke.

“Hmmm…” I say from Robert, “Is it the same shape? I may need to inspect…” and I sit up, changing position to bring my head closer. Parting her legs, I trace the shape with my tongue, avoiding going too deep inside or hitting her clitoris. She sighs deeply and runs her hands through Robert’s hair. I end with a kiss on her scarred inner thigh, and pull myself up to kiss her. She hands Robert the water cup, almost empty. “More, my Queen?” she nods her head without opening her eyes, and I get up to clean this self off and fetch more water.

“Not Queen yet,” she calls. She flicks her eyes to Alex and then downward. “But I’d take more of both.” With the playful grin that only Alex owns, I happily carry out her command.

\--

A lazy while afterward, we’re just lying in bed, looking at each other and touching. I’m drifting but not quite asleep. Myf is obviously enjoying the afterglow and trying to be polite until she can get up and use up some of her energy.

“Glad you stayed with me, this time.” She smiles and wraps a tendril of Alex’s hair around her finger. “I wasn’t looking forward to another _petit mort_.”

“I know it was upsetting to you – to me, too – and I don’t want to make either of us feel that way again,” I say, as Robert.

She half-turns to face that me, still tangled in Alex’s locks, “What was different?” she asks, moving her hand to muss this hair, but changing her mind after touching the spiky tips.

“Mmm…few things, I spose,” I say as Alex, looking deep into her eyes with Robert. “I actually think the rubbers helped. An two of us bein here. An it not bein Teddy.” Alex punctuates the sentences with small kisses; I move Robert’s hand up her arm to her shoulder, her neck, and slowly draw it back down and talk about it. “I can’t hide it, though – there were a few sketchy moments. Teddy is on a plane, so that was ok, but Eliza may have lost track of surveillance on the op she is supervising for a little bit. But you’re right, it was better.”

“Still dangerous?” she asks, concern visible in her face. Both of my bodies shrug and half-nod. She lets out a long, frustrated, sigh and gets up out of bed. “So why’d you let me act like that? Why risk it?” She walks around, picking up clothes emphatically, slamming them into drawers. My trousers make an audible thunk into the wardrobe and she looks up, questioning.

I shrug again. “Wallet?” I say with Alex. Robert suggests “Belt buckle?” Shrugging, she keeps on her path. I lean off the bed with Alex and reach for her, just barely able to clutch her knee. “Hey. Hey…wot’s gotcher so upset?” She shakes her knee, leaning her weight against me, but Alex’s hands are easily able to circle her entire joint. I get Robert up and go over to her.

“I wanted to be with you. Show you I missed you. Reciprocate some feelings.” I move his arms around her naked shoulders. “Ya trust me to make m’own decisions, wontcha?” I say as Alex, teasingly squeezing her knee. A plosive snorts out of her mouth and she smiles a little. I let her leg go, turn her toward Robert and kiss the side of her smile. “I can choose you, if I want to, Myfanwy Thomas.”

I get a kiss back, but she puts her hands on my shoulders and pushes back. “Not over your job, Gestalt. Not over your well-being.” I cock Robert’s eyebrow and her and tilt his head.

“I fully intend to stay employed and upright. Later.” It’s her turn to cock an eyebrow. Alex picks up, “Nah, no way. That one needs to sleep,” I say, pointing to Robert. “An _you_ need to run off some energy. An I needta make dinner.”

Pulling some shorts out of her shoulder bag, Myf full-on laughs. “Make the kitchen staff make dinner, you mean?” More shrugging.

“Nothin wrong wit dat. Play t’yer strengths, I say. An for the record, I _could_ make dinner if I wanted, but I _don’t_ want to make the staff feel useless.” Alex’s smirk brings out a bigger smile in Myf who is pulling on a little tank top. In her bare feet, she goes down the stairs and out the glass doors to the beach.

\--

An hour later, I’m rested, showered, with Robert in light linens and Alex in basketball shorts and a tee. Each of me met Myfanwy with a towel when she stepped out of her shower after her run, surrounding her with fluffiness and making sure every single part of her got dry.

We avoided any hot topics during dinner, and after a long day, Eliza left a pawn at surveillance and made it home to sleep. Teddy got in and passed out, Eliza had to pull his clothes off him – not for the first time, but it’s something I’d prefer to not repeat often. And tired from our reunion, Myfany and Robert enjoyed a slow evening that left her no question about my personal choices. Those lips were sore from kissing every inch of her body, and the strength of her single climax left her sleepy instead of energized. She’d mentioned that it was easier to tolerate extra bodies blanking-out if it was dark, so Alex sat in a chair looking out at the beach until we were falling asleep, then moved back into bed.

\--

Saturday morning, I stirred later than usual, when Myfany burrowed her ass into Robert and kissed Alex’s shoulder. “Good morning,” she said. Even with the lovely night, the morning plus her backside made me respond more quickly than usual. “Oooh…a _very_ good morning, indeed.” Small moans came from both of my throats as she reached between her legs and pulled Robert through, nestling him in her damp cleft with his head poking right under her hood. She hummed softly, whispering, “Just stay right there. Like that. Don’t move.”

She pulled my arms around her and seemed to drift back to sleep while I lay in agonizing pleasure, every body entirely awake and anticipatory. I couldn’t take it for long, and moved Alex and Teddy into their respective showers to take care of things. I had Robert take long slow breaths so no accidents would happen, and it did help that his body had to pee. After a while, her pussy lips began clenching involuntarily and she breathed out a very deep sigh.

“Good?” I asked her, and she smiled and nodded slowly.

“I was too sore from yesterday to do much, but having you both here has got me too horny for my own good.” That made me smile almost as widely as she was. “I should help you out, in return?” She bounced up on the bed quickly, that orgasmic energy reviving her.

“Ah, no. No no-no, thank you. I ah, need the lav.” I jerked my head toward where Alex was emerging. “An I dinnint know wot was goin on, so I took care a it,” I say, wrapping a towel around his waist. That gets a cute little pout with arms akimbo, followed by a shrug.

“Well, I am willing and the offer stands.” I give her a kiss on the cheek as I trade Robert and Alex places in the doorway. As I get in my shower, I hear another one down the hall start up. We’ll have to stop by her hotel this morning for some more clothes, I think, because even that giant handbag has limits.

Breakfast of coffee and cornetto is laid out on the veranda when we all emerge. We sit around lazing in the sun for a bit when suddenly Myf speaks up.

“I have been to eight cities in six weeks, Gestalt, and barely have seen anything of them other than convention hall/hotel combinations. Do you know how different those look between Paris, Lisbon, and Rome?”

Both heads nod slowly. “Not to compare miseries, but you can just imagine how different the Checquy safehouses in all those cities look.” We all exhale into our fringe. “I feel ya,” says Alex.

“So let’s do the tourist thing, can we? Just see some gorgeous old buildings and walk somewhere other than to bed?”

I lean over and kiss her on the nose. “I thought you’d never ask.”

\--

It was mutually agreeable that we start at the Leonardo da Vinci Museum. I could have spent the entire day just there with absolutely no issue – art, science, history, interactive machinery models – it was fascinating. 

“Oi, Myf,” I called across a gallery eliciting a few glares and then eyerolls once they saw Alex’s tracksuit. I moved over closer and continued more quietly, “was ol’ Leo an EVA?”

She rolls her eyes and snorts. “Good God, Gestalt – I know you’ve forgotten _all _your Checquy history, but I can’t believe you even have to ask.”

“Vat’s a yes, den?” I use Alex to scoop her up from behind in a playful cuddle.

“Get off, you absentminded, history-ignoring, illogical oaf!” she laughs and vaguely gestures like she’s shooing a fly. The docent cuts a wicked glare, and I have Robert roll my eyes in response. I put Myf down and we change rooms.

“That was quite the rejoinder,” I say, as Robert, “a little harsh, don’t you think?”

“Not often I have the higher ground on you,” she replies slyly, “I had a few stored up. Mad?” I smile and take her hand with a gentle squeeze while Alex bounds up ahead. As we catch up with him, I have him sling his arm over her shoulders and lean in as we all walk through the gallery. Since it’s Italy, we get zero stares in return.

We leave reluctantly, but Myf wants to get to a cathedral nearby and a palace across town, and there’s siesta to factor in. I direct us to a café for quick lunch and have Alex order as Robert sends a few texts. A questioning eyebrow and shoulder-lean is dismissed with a firm hand pushing her back into Alex.

“Don trust me, yet?” I say, grabbing her arm and nuzzling his curls into her. “It’s an Op contact -- juss ironin out some fings.” And it’s not a lie. I get a reply from Zhang and slide the phone into Robert’s bag. “All set. So we finish eating before the siesta hits, wander around the Basilica since it doesn’t close, see some Titian, then head to Mocenigo?” All heads nod as the waiter brings our pasta course out.

“Ow’s Bishop Shifty, then?” Myf nearly snarfs risotto at the question and drinks some sparkling water to calm down – which does _not _help. I guess I hadn’t included the nickname in any texts, though I’ve had it in mind for weeks.

“It’s all right,” she coughs out. “Hasn’t made any direct attacks, but some side-eye and cold shoulder when we’re off duty.” She pauses for a sip of Robert’s still water. “Zhang is a trooper, though, and has been testing my skin-shock trick randomly. I feel pretty good this time. Maybe she showed her hand too soon and knows it?”

“That _is_ a pretty neat trick, _and_ it explains why Zhang has been so touchy-feely with you. Maybe might have mentioned that beforehand? Teddy had quite a day the first time I saw that onscreen.”

Her casual shrug is dismissive and it stings a little. “I get it, but one: it’s early days for us, Gestalt, and two: I’m pretty sure someone could summons our texts or skypes since we’re government employees. I figured you’d see that I wasn’t making out with him – it’s isn’t always the _The Bodyguard_ with me.” We pause as the waiter sets down il secondo. She hooks her foot around Alex’s ankle. “Just with you.” She smiles and the warmth in my chest blooms. “So far.”

Ice.  
Bath.

Robert looks at her, smiles sweetly, and says simply, “Demon.”

Her laughter is a crow accompanied by a fist-pump. “There it is! I was wondering what it would take.” She leans in and licks just Robert’s top lip, quick like a hummingbird so I question whether it happened. “You know, there is something specific about the way it comes out of _Robert_ that makes it soooo gooood.” I pout audibly and visibly with Alex, so she turns to that me and twirls a finger in his hair. “Curls get the girls, Gestalt, but I’ve already had those this trip.” I give her my best patented twin-grin, taking in a long breath while making steady eye contact. “Damn. Maybe we should anoint the basilica while we’re there?”

_Mio Dio_ what will happen if I am banned from Italy for gross and defiling behavior? Ah well, I have two other bodies…Bloody hell, Gestalt, get a hold of yourself. Eliza pinches her arm _hard_ with fingernails and all the force of a hand that has mastered martial arts.

The waiter brings our pre-ordered coffees and Myfanwy goggles at Robert’s cup as it’s set in front of him.

“Macchiato? At lunch? Gestalt! How gauche!” I roll both sets of eyes at her as she and Alex have the much more situationally-appropriate espressos in front of them. “You know frothy drinks are for breakfast and bedtime.”

Both chests heave with a heavy sigh and I say, picking up the offending cup, “Yes, and Robert’s ulcer means that having black coffee at _any_ time is a bad idea.” She sighs heavily, herself, and I look at her questioningly with both faces.

“You know, of course, what macchiato means, right?”

“Yes, Myfanwy, I’ve been coming to Italy for ages, it means marked with – FUCK!” I shout and Robert is out of his seat while she is nearly falling out of hers. The sight of perfectly dressed, perfectly coiffed, heart-of-fashion-industry Robert with milk foam on his nose is hilarious from Alex’s eyes but feels incredibly disgusting from inside Robert’s skin.

“No!” she says between laughs, “not marked with fuck…” more laughing, “marked with foam!”

We all laugh for a second. Then I have Alex grab her arms. Robert tilts her chin up and stares right into her eyes, moving slowly toward her with an entirely blank expression. Maybe just a hint of malice. Dammit, this would be better with Teddy. I tighten Alex’s grip on her arms. Robert’s face gets closer, and closer, and closer to hers. The waiter comes around the corner and Alex reassures him with a nod, then he settles in to watch.

Boop.

Now there is foam on both noses.

And Robert sits back down quickly, laughing. I down his drink, then Alex’s, and as Myf recovers, Alex beckons the waiter…who looks like he needs a private moment.

The check is settled.

“To the Basilica, then?” I say, helping Myfanwy out of her chair. She does something related to nodding, I guess.

At the church, Alex turns aside. “Ah, dammit. Forgot. Dress code!” I make him perform a hokey ‘aw shucks’ finger-snapping gesture and accompany Myf inside with Robert while I meet Zhang – as arranged – as Alex.

\--

Late that night – early the next morning? – I check Robert’s pocket for the nth time as we giggle from the water taxi to the car waiting for us on the Lido. I’m sober enough, but after a day of walking and a night of drinking and dancing, it’s too tempting to meet Myf where she’s at. I sprawl all of mes throughout the back of the limo without impinging on her space. Her laughter dies down, but I have each of her hands in one of mine per body and we just start breathing deeply on the short drive back to the flat.

It’d be a good time to bring it out and just hand it to her, tell her it’s from Eliza, but her head nods as we get closer, and I have to wake her a little to get her out of the car. As we go inside, I start the kettle as Robert because Alex is helping her in while she ineffectively waves him off.

“I’m fine, I’m fine. See? I can even enunciate.” It’s true, she’s not slurring, but she’s slouching. “Jus’ need a shower. I feel gross. Why do continental clubs feel kind of oozy?” I laugh from both mouths and point her toward the giant bathroom. “Keep me comp’ny?” she asks, and tugs on Alex’s hand.

“Prolly better should, yeah? Make sure you don’t fall sleep in there.” I happily trot after her, pushing through to the wall-length shower with two doors and four heads. I turn them all on as I pass through and walk out, pulling off my tracksuit. In the kitchen, the kettle whistles and I contemplate two boxes I’ve placed on the counter as I pour three cups of tea. While they steep, I look back and forth – propranolol? or ring? – they each have their merits.

“Only one of them will tell me if I have a future with Myf,” says Eliza. Even with the time difference, it’s late enough here that I’m all off duty.

“The other one will make her happy,” mumbles Alex, while pulling off Myf’s shirt.

“Don’t be stupid,” growls Teddy. “Do both. First the ring, then ask her to take the blocker.”

“Ehhhh…” Robert hedges, “that feels a little like bribery.”

“I’m fucked,” three bodies say out loud. Robert puts each box into a pocket and tosses the teabags, picking up the mugs and nudging open the bathroom door with his foot. Alex grabs one and puts it on a ledge near the glass shower door closest. With one body on each side, I move Myf into the shower, away from the heads, and put a mug in her hand. “Drink first,” Robert says, Alex continues, “Get wet second.”

I strip Alex down and concentrate on Robert’s tea, sorting through the pros and cons of each box with Teddy and Eliza’s voices helping me hear myself out loud. I’m lathering Myf’s hair as Robert closes the door so the steam stays in. There’s plenty of room – probably for all five of us, honestly – but I need some time to focus. Have to admit, I do manage to lose my train of thought here and there with the distraction of soaping her up.

By the time I emerged, clean and happy and wrapped in a fluffy towel, Myf was more alert and present.

“Why, Gestalt, why did you wake me up just to send me to bed?” she said, as she tugged at my towel. I feign shock and demurity, clutching Alex’s towel tighter and taking him into the room where his luggage is to pull on some shorts. I walk Robert closer to her with something held behind his back as I lean down to kiss her.

“Because I have a favor to ask of you, and I wanted to ask you while you were alert.” I glance pointedly at her large shoulder bag where she stashed some clothes after we went to her hotel this morning to swap things out. She looks down and then back up at me. A shrug indicates she’s fine and she sits in one of the parlor armchairs.

As Alex re-enters the main room, I sit him at her feet, nestling his head on her knee; it’s kind of become his place, so I perch Robert on her chair’s arm. She pulls at the elbow holding the box and I resist just a little, still thinking of the best way to frame this.

“Myf – I wantchoo t’know I’ve missed ya these weeks. Not just the fought of you, but _you_. The new clothes, the new hair, the new jokes, the new emojis…” Alex trails off and I pick up with Robert, “and it’s all packaged in a body I love, who is remembering some things but I know will always be this new creature that I’m learning about all the time.” I look at her face from two pairs of eyes. Each body takes a hand of hers in mine and only pervs slightly as the towel droops.

“God, it’s like the archives in here. Both yous are making me nervous, Gestalt. Are you inviting me into a murder cult? Is that a key thing I’ve forgotten about you? Robert is the charismatic leader?” I smile weakly and squeeze her hand, shaking my head. I blank my face, try to make it earnest as I look at her again.

“Listen, I know this is a big ask, but I want to talk all the way through it. I don’t know if you remember him, but my oldest doctor – Bedford – I went to see him and he thought this would help. On an ‘as-needed’ basis,” I bring the box into her sightline and she physically tenses, drawing in a sharp breath.

“Why would you do that?! No! Fuck no, Gestalt! What the hell?” She moves to stand up and I realize I have blocked her in without thinking. I’m scrambling to give her the freedom she wants and she’s swinging her legs over the arm of the chair to stand. “I just got myself off of those! Not being on them is the only way I can use my power, Gestalt, you _know _that!”

I drop the box and raise my palms up. Alex turns his palms to the ceiling. I make my faces look as reassuring as possible. She’s clutching her towel, and despite the early-summer warmth, her wet hair is making her teeth chatter. I reach into her bag for the oversize shirt crammed in there. Robert takes a step closer, holding it out. Alex reaches an arm out, brushing against her leg. She takes the shirt and pulls it on over her towel.

“Ok, I understand why you’d find it upsetting, but there are details you don’t know.”

“Details? You want me to risk my life. For sex. And you think details will change my mind?”

Owch.

Owch.

Owch.

Owch.

Four bodies in four places recoil. Teddy’s in the exercise room and drops a weight into the rack. Eliza sits down heavily on the shower ledge. Alex’s head hits the seat of the chair Myf was just in. Robert steps back into the kitchenette counter.

“Sex?” four mouths say at once. Four brains can host so many, so very many insecure thoughts about the nature of a relationship when faced with this kind of comment.

“Well that’s when you’re worst around me, right? When we have sex? That’s when you can’t stay separate?” Four heads nod slowly – only two of them visible to her.

With Alex, I stammer, “Th…that’s the only…time…you wouldn’t have…have to…” I try again as Robert. “Just one pill, one hour before you’re with me. A trial run tonight to see if it works.” Her face softens a little, but only just. “I was hoping we could try it.” I look up at her, Robert’s chin trembling. “So I could see the difference from last night.”

She sniffs a long sniff. I can see there are little tears trickling down her cheeks and she’s still shaking even with the shirt on. I stand Alex up slowly and pick up his tracksuit jacket from the other room.

“Can I come closer?” I ask as Robert while Alex holds out the warm fleece. I step closer from both directions, wanting to comfort her, to warm her, without making her feel threatened or surrounded in a bad way. She steps back into Alex and lets him put the fleece on her shoulders.

“But I would still be vulnerable. If I take the drug before we have sex, how long will I not be able to use my powers?”

I shrug Alex’s shoulders, saying, “Dunno. Vat’s anovver part of the experiment, yeah?” I put his arm around her shoulders, crossing in front of her. “But I’d be here. You’d be safe tonight.”

“As long as it _does_ work. If it doesn’t, you could be loopy-you in la-la-land, not hearing or seeing a thing! Then I wouldn’t have my powers, you’d be passed out, and anyone could just put me in another cage!” She shoves away from Alex and picks up her bag.

“That’s a lot of if’s. There are a lot of factors – “

“You’re right. There _are_ a lot of factors! And any one of them leaves me exposed just so you can fuck the girl you’ve always loved! But I’m not her, Gestalt, and I doubt she would have told you to fuck off under any circumstances. But I need to be able to protect myself and you can’t be the only thing between me and a cage, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I can’t.” She looks at Robert, then Alex, her face a mess with tears and snot and wet bedraggled hair. “And I can’t believe you would ask me.” She disappears down the hall, in the dark, so quickly that a bedroom door slams before my mind realizes she’s gone.

“Fuck.”

\--

I sleep in shifts – two hours at a time – I can make up for it on the plane but I do not want to risk that she’ll slip out without me seeing. As I pace in the hall, I hand the other box, the good one, to myself whenever I trade off. I practice what I’m going to say, over and over, as I walk up and down.

_Myf, I’m so sorry. I was so happy to hear that there might be a fix for what happens to me that I didn’t stop to think about all the ways – past and future – these pills hurt you. It was inconsiderate and it hurt you deeply and I never want to do that again. Not out of debt to the person you were, but because I care about the person you are now. [Breath] I hate the way we left things last night, but I want you to know that I’m sorry, and I want to keep going. This might be the wrong time, but I – Eliza-me – bought you this because I wanted you to have a reminder of me while we’re apart. It’s for your pinky, because of that thing you do with only her. [Breath] Now that this weekend went sideways, I hope when you wear it, or see it, you’ll remember that I want to do better. I hope you’ll let me keep trying. _

Over and over. Over and over and over. After the fourth time, I realize I have to program the breaths in because I would get lightheaded trying to say it all in one breath. I want to say it as quickly as possible, she might be pushing past me to get out the door without stopping. She might not give me a chance. I mean, we’re adults, but she was mad.

Of course she was! After Farrier manipulating her with the drugs – why wouldn’t she be scared?

When my alarm rings at 10am after a 2am fight, I realize I haven’t heard anything from her room. I take a chance and knock at the door she slammed earlier. “Myf – oi, Myf?” I put Alex’s ear to the door and hear nothing. Cracking open the door a little, I can see the bed: made. I open wide and take in the wet towel on the floor and some crumpled papers on the floor. I walk in, and the little desk has a letter on it. Addressed to me. The room – like many of the ground-floor rooms in this flat – has a set of glass doors opening onto the beach.

_Gestalt – _

_No ‘Dear you’ this time because that was her thing. The last time I wrote you a letter, I told you I needed to be on my own to find out who I’m going to turn out to be. But I didn’t do it because becoming an entire person when you’re already an adult is overwhelming – terrifying, really. You and the Checquy were my anchors, I felt like I understood one thing about this life that was completely foreign to me. I couldn’t leave. I needed the job and I needed my connection to you. _

_Honestly, I still do. _

_I need both. _

_But it’s time to take off the stabilisers. My program is in demand. I’m defining my career and shaping the future of EVAs all over Europe and maybe even further. My organizational and financial skills can keep EVAs safe and happy within a community of support that I’ve designed. _

_I need to follow this right now, and see who it turns me into. I need to see what I can do on my own, for myself, the same way I needed to learn to embrace and use my power. _

_I’m not saying I don’t need your protection – or care – but I need to know I can survive on my own. _

_I need you to watch me and see who I become, and decide if you can love her for her. _

_And we both need to take care of ourselves. It may be that my power and yours just don’t play nice together, no matter how much we want it. That will be a hard truth to face if it is true. _

_Linda used these pills to manipulate me, but I know you would never do that. I promise, I will contact this Bedford and hear what he has to say. He may have more complete answers to my questions about how the drugs will affect me, and just how much I will be risking. I may take it better from a doctor, too, instead of having an overly emotional reaction to a person I have grown to care for in such a short time. _

_I want us each to be safe. I want us each to be happy. And there are a lot of factors to both those things. _

_I need some space. I need some time. _

_I need you – as my backup. _

_With love,   
NewMyf_


	4. Three weeks and three days out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Letters are one-way communication. A necessary response.

My go-bag for Eliza’s next deployment was already packed. Teddy met her at the airport with it and drove off after she boarded. Even with a short delay on the tarmac, she touched down hours before the train was due to arrive in Zagreb. After a nice meal, I spoke with the hotel staff, met and re-vetted their security team, examined the rooms prior to arrival, and sat down in a chair in a dark suite.

Zhang leaves Myf in the hall with another SecPawn and clears the rooms thoroughly. His step halts and firearm is drawn before he realizes who is seated there. I make silent eye contact with him and shake my head abruptly. He knows better to argue with his boss, and allows Rook—Qurook?—Thomas to enter with only the tripped motion-detector lights casting a weird pattern. She kicks off her monkstraps and pads into the kitchenette for the teakettle without bothering with overheads.

I kind of wish she’d brew one for me, but I don’t want her to think this will be a long conversation. She laughs a little to herself and picks up the note the kettle whistled, singing “Let it go,” under her breath as she steeps her tea. Fuck her mother I’m going to bloody cry right here. Teddy jams a biro (capped) into his palm. Eliza breathes deeply and silently in for four and out for four. Robert pulls the seatbelt strap on his airplane seat just a little too tight. Alex stops his night stroll in Venice and looks up into a boutique window. His is the only face tears fall from.

She walks through the suite, past me – I _am_ dressed all in black, but Christ she should be a little more aware – and puts her tea down on the nightstand, placing her hands crisscrossed at her waist to pull off her shirt.

“Maybe you shouldn’t,” Eliza says from her chair, not wanting Myfanwy to be unintentionally intimate. “Don’t worry. The door _was _locked.” The startle is genuine, and she spins around. The look on her face has a lot of emotions, but if one won out, I would read it as livid. I hold up my hand before she can stream any of the curses she’s been more frequently using. “I’ll make this short, and I won’t try to change your mind, that’s not why I’m here.”

Her posture is combative and guarded at the same time and she moves her crossed arms up to her ribcage. “Then tell me why you’re here, Gestalt, and leave quickly before I decide to write you up for abusing your privilege as head of SecOps.” I flinch for real. She’s not pulled rank before. I’m not sure, entirely, that she has the power yet.

“That’s new,” I say, standing. Eliza’s face is the stillest; I’m glad she was free to do this because my instinct would be to use Teddy if it weren’t the information I got from Sutton and Bedford. “I’m not sure you have the power to carry through on that threat, as to my knowledge, we’re still of equal rank, _Rook_ Thomas.” Her posture deflates a little and I cross my arms in a mirror of hers.

“That wasn’t fair, I’m sorry. That was too far.” She uncrosses her arms, picks up her mug, and sits at the edge of the bed.

“What wasn’t fair was leaving a letter after a fight.” Her head lowers and she looks into her tea. “I get that the idea of the pills triggered you. I get that you weren’t ready to discuss it logically, and I would have given you space if you had come back and told me, like an adult.” Eliza’s posture is still ramrod straight but the higher ground and some formal dance training allow me to envision a hook in the back of her neck, pulling me up even more. “In fact, I would have given you _all_ the space – the pills, the relationship, the job, everything – if you had asked me. If you had explained how you were feeling.” Her eyes flick up and if possible, she looks even more hangdog.

“I – I didn’t know. You’ve been in love with me…with Myf…for so long. I didn’t think you would let me go without another fight.”

“You didn’t ask.” I stare into her with the full force of my pain – not that she left, although there is that – that she didn’t trust me to want to do what was best for her. “You didn’t even _try_.” The last word is spit so fiercely that I hope I can eject the taste of her rejection from my mouth forever. After a deep breath, I continue, “And the fact that you wouldn’t even give me the chance – wouldn’t tell me to my face – it proves to me that you’re right. You’re not ready for a relationship, and I don’t want to be in one with this form of you.” I spin on my heel and storm Eliza through the door to the main room, not skipping stride as I hear her clunk her tea down and scramble after me. There’s a little step up to the door to the hallway and I pause for effect as she stammers, maybe to defend herself, maybe to backpedal. I don’t care right now, at this point.

“Regardless of your rank, _Rook_ Thomas, I _will _be your backup. I will even be your cannon fodder if necessary. Because it’s my job.” I take another breath, filling Eliza’s deceptively deep lungs. “And because I still do care.” I allow Eliza a tear. “Once you decide you’ve become who you’ll be, if you also decide to recognize the partner who will still be standing behind you – exactly as many paces back as you dictate – please tell me. To my face.” I put Eliza’s hand on the doorknob and turn. “But be prepared to do some _serious_ repair, Myfanwy, because you have damaged something. Deeply.”

I step confidently out the door and into the hallway. I nod at Zhang at his post, straighten Eliza’s coat and her posture and stride down to the stairwell. I trust Eliza’s feet to carry me as quickly as possible down to the lobby, pattering a rhythm that is nearly too fast to keep me upright. By the time I reach the foyer, the tears are streaking my cheeks but I only have 90 minutes to catch my flight to the next assignment in Vienna. Eliza’s striking form rarely has to wait for a cab in any country, and tonight is no different. I say the word “aerodrom” and spend the drive weeping silently in the back.

Alex trudges back to the condo where Myf broke my heart; his flight back to London doesn’t leave until the morning so I have to spend one more night there. I almost can’t stand it, and it would be easy enough to pay for a different place closer to the airport, but I can still smell her on the pillows. I can’t decide if it’s torture or pleasure but I know it’s self-indulgent and I’m doing it regardless. With his tray-table down, I have Robert unfold all the crumpled half-started notes and read their crossed-out words, but none are much different from the final version. Only one “Dear You,” and a few variations on a theme. With Teddy I watch Myfanwy weep next to the hallway door only for a moment. It’s satisfying but also feels intrusive – it’s good enough to know she has some regret.

None of me sleeps well that night.

In the morning, I walk Alex back to the boutique – a jewelry store – where he stopped last night. A videoscreen had cycled through some of their pieces so people could still see them without risking robbery. I pull out his smart phone and show the clerk the shitty photo I took; there’s still no reliable way to take a photo of something on a monitor, but she recognizes it and shows me to the case. A thick gold band filled with negative space between oddly offset pale green stones is just large enough for his pinky. “Polka-dot peri-dots,” I laugh, knowing I’m mispronouncing the gemstone’s name but enjoying the joke, slightly less than I would normally.

I kiss the ring I’ve purchased and wear it home.


	5. Three weeks and four days out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An interlude at midnight

A push notification comes to her phone

r/QuadSighting

A startlingly lovely shot of a tall pale man with even paler, curly hair, looking in a boutique window. His face is lit by some kind of glow from the store, but it’s around the corner and his reflection is clear in the side facing us. The lighting sparkles in two tracks leading down his cheeks from his eyes on his actual face, but that isn’t apparent in the mirror-image. Both visages are obviously distraught – mouth pulled far down at the corners, eyebrows crinkled down – but it’s not an ugly cry. His real shoulders are nearly invisible, faded into the night sky and only traceable by the two white lines running down his sleeves; in the reflection, they’re defined by the way they obscure the building behind him at an angle invisible to the photographer. His eyes look like they’re searching – maybe waiting? – for something, and they are slightly less sad than the rest of his face.

**daisyquake** 28 points 8 minutes ago   
poor CoolTwin …I can dry those tears

**Harlequin0416 ** 9 points 7 minutes ago  
OMG I cannot get over how beautiful this entire photo is – but esp CoolTwin

**Courtney999** 10 points 7 minutes ago  
I will find whoever made him that sad and make them sadder.

**HeavenlyDisaster** 4 points 6 minutes ago   
c’mere, momma will kiss it and make it all better

**specspecs** 2 points 5 minutes ago  
or if not momma, can always come to poppa

**anongirl ** 32 points 4 minutes ago  
why not both? More hugs will help more, right?

**GlitterGirl** 11 points 3 minutes ago  
I’ll be in my bunk! But seriously this is so gorgeous, you should be famous!

**lou-ann** 5 points 2 minutes ago  
I’ve seen all four of the Quads. One is definitely more attractive than the others. Spoiler: it’s one of the twins. AITA?

**reyRainbow** 1 point 1 minute ago  
This is beautiful! It would be more beautiful if it was GirlQuad -- who has pics of my hottie?

She screenshots the beautiful photo, cropping out the comments. Considers making it her lockscreen – realizes she wants to be the only one who looks at this.

Changing the timer on her phone, she stares at the photo with the phone in her hand until she falls asleep, tears of her own wetting her pillow.


	6. Just over a month since

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grantchester's machinations to put the pressure on Clifton also throw a wrench in Gestalt's week in more ways than one. Now Thomas will be back in London earlier than expected and both are still grieving.

Thank any holy beings and a few evil ones that reports are filed electronically these days. CTRL+F a few keywords and when they don’t show up, on to the next. Of course, it wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t let it go for a week at a time, but with four sets of eyes it takes hardly any time to catch up. How do singletons do it? Costa: Fine. Zhang: Fine. Day in, day out, same old, same old. For whatever reason, Clifton is playing nice.

Robert’s in the Box, keeping half an eye on a video feed but with only two monitors on the hotel in …wherever Eastern Europe…three in London and three scoping Teddy in The Hague. Very fashionable to run to The Hague these days – do EVAs actually think it’s harder to get to than Calais or Bruges? The Checquy does have jets and helicopters, nowhere is really hard to get to.

Just as I’m thinking this, the King leaves his castle and visits his …castle?...Rookery. Due to the new program’s popularity, I’d been getting itinerary changes during the entire trip, but usually just booking a talk during an off-day and having to scramble to arrange secondary security at a hotel. A complete pain in my arse, but it’s my job to keep them safe, and Rook Thomas is literally in the arms of the enemy right now. So when Grantchester hands me a sheaf of papers, the only thing startling about it is that they came from him directly. I raise Robert’s eyebrow.

“Came all the way down here to hand me these in person? What’s with the grandeur?” The King nods upward at the papers in my hand and as I sort through them I see my week rearranging and spilling into the weekend. “A second circuit? Just as long? My eyes are going to fall out from screen-fatigue.”

“We can’t keep pushing the Bishop and Thomas to work through their weeks -- if they exhaust themselves, it does the program a disservice – but we can’t satisfy the demand for information.” He rests against the wall and crosses his ankles. “They’ll fly home this weekend, rest up, fly back out on Tuesday and resume at a more leisurely pace.” The King beckons, holding his hand out for the sheaf of papers. He riffles through them and puts one particular sheet on top, angling it away from the cameras.

As I walk Robert over to retrieve them, I keep that body in a position to naturally read it away from any surveillance.

I WAS HOPING THE EXTRA TOUR DATES WOULD PUSH CLIFTON PAST HER LIMIT AND CAUSE HER TO GET SLOPPY. ANY SIGN OF PLANS TO ATTACK THOMAS AGAIN?

“Well that makes this sheet useless, then,” I say as Robert tips that paper into the shredder. Just slightly I shake his head while the noise drowns out my soft, “No.”

“I realize that three months away from your counterpart may deter any plans you might have … for the _department_,” Grantchester says slyly, but in an unusual display of discretion when it comes to intra-office relationships that haven’t been passed through a vetting officer. “If you think that your productivity won’t be compromised, I can spare one of you for the next six weeks of the trip.” He lifts himself up to fully standing and looks me in the eyes with what passes for kindness from him.

I pull a face that would appear as though Robert is considering it. “When I debrief the pawns on their return, I’ll see how they feel about it. I don’t want to pull rank and displace them on assignment with hazard pay and travel included. If they don’t want to go back out, I’ll consider it.” Grantchester’s surprise is visible.

“If you’re concerned about being tied up with this when a certain body’s skills are needed, I assure you, the Checquy will always provide transport if you need to swap out…” He puts his hand on my shoulder.

“Thanks,” Robert’s expression and tone are tight, “I’ll keep that in mind.” I knock the papers against the table to straighten their edges. Eliza walks in and takes the top half of the stack and continues speaking, “Til then, I have plenty of arrangements to make, don’t I?”

“Thank me later, I guess,” says Conrad sarcastically, as he leaves.

I keep my expression as blank as usual while I use Teddy to beat up on a poor paper towel dispenser in a lav at the bar he’s staking out. I thought I’d have at least another week to process, be alone without the torture of seeing her. At least these arrangements mean I will have to work through the weekend and she will be busy re-packing her clothes and sleeping in her own bed. Likely she will not have to come in to the office unless to meet Conrad, and I can steer clear these few floors below. Still.

Still.

I let Robert ruminate, staring off into space for a bit while I prioritize tasks as Eliza. As I’m focused on that, a fast movement from the vidfeeds catches Robert’s eye. First one screen and then another shows a mobile phone zooming through the air. I track the feeds: Costa’s button cam and Clifton’s hotel room.

I told both the Pawns to program all my numbers with a double-buzz text alert so they would know it was me in an emergency. Like now. Costa answers Teddy’s “WTF” promptly:  
_Clifton & Grantchester facetimed. He told her she didn’t have to come for 2nd leg but she insisted. She’s pissed tho? _

Alright then, well, if running her ragged didn’t make her sloppy, I guess telling her that she’s only half done – or that Myfanwy’s idea is worth spreading even further – may do the trick. I send a text back to her and Zhang from Robert this time, since he’s in front of the screens.

_Noted. Stay close to Thomas and Clifton. Let me know the moment anything out of the ordinary happens. I’ll be watching. _

I do some mental shuffling of duties and make sure that part of me is free for the next day or two to be watching the feeds more closely the entire time. It will put a crimp in getting all these arrangements made, but if I sleep in shifts I should manage.

I bring Alex in from the server room and put in a takeaway order from his laptop while I have Eliza draw up a rough sketch of a tasking/sleeping schedule for each body. Robert focuses on the screen showing Costa’s button cam, and Clifton is standing and pacing. Her EA walks in and flinches immediately. Just as fast, I’m texting Costa.

_Call me. NOW. _

The phone rings quickly; Robert says, “Don’t hang up, pretend we’re talking,” then mutes his line while listening in. The Bishop is berating the younger man.

“Just look at these note cards! This card stock is entirely too thin – you _know _that! You also know you can never do anything right…you’re worthless, just like your mum always said…you’ll never amount to anything…you’ll never be half the man your father was…you know that…and you know what you deserve…you know you deserve to be punished…” Her EA’s hand raises in the air and he smacks himself broadly across the face.

I look at myselves, shocked. I know Clifton’s EVA is a little like hypnotism, but more like influence. It has to lean on a feeling which is already there and reinforce belief in it. I don’t think she can make a person do something, but with time she could make a person believe a certain course of action needed to be taken. She must know quite a bit about her EA in order for him to even know what she wanted him to do without having to ask.

I unmute Robert’s phone. “Costa, have you ever seen anything like this happen before?”

“Sir, no, sir,” she replies believably into the phone. Clifton’s attention flickers toward her and Costa angles toward the door.

“Good, I’d hate to think I’d missed it in a report. Stay close; eyes peeled. If you find yourself in a situation, try to do something to get my attention on the feeds and I will arrange help to come to you. If the Bishop asks, you can tell her I just found out about the changes and was checking in.”

“Copy that, sir.” The call ends and I exhale four huge breaths; no wonder Grantchester doesn’t want Clifton as Queen. That kind of power is great for spin and crowd control, but one on one it could be disastrous, _especially_ if she was going on diplomatic missions where she meets with individual administrators high up in international government.

\--

That Thursday, instead of getting on a train to their next destination, the ladies have an odd night off but with an early morning transport to the airport to return to London. So it’s not terribly fun – probably no wild nights on the town. They’re in Berlin and skipping Hamburg, putting that near the beginning of the next trip, circling back to hit more major and minor cities which have requested to hear more about the program Myfanwy devised.

It’s brilliant, actually. As an MI department, Grantchester’s unsanctioned action against Danilov – although proven to be correct – could have been read as an act of war. However, Clifton and he managed to spin it as a humanitarian effort undertaken by a civil rights group, which was why no lethal force was used. After Parliament threatened that the Checquy must privatize or be incorporated into existing police and military forces, Myfanwy found the money to become a standalone organization. Rebranding as that humanitarian organization with the support of Amnesty International and the Red Cross, the Checquy is negotiating with the British government not only for aid contracts, but to make provisions for EVAs within established departments. New Glengrove will receive state funds to assist in schooling EVA children – either boarding- or day-students as agreed to by families – and EVAs will have units in both the military and police forces which are led by EVA officers and have oversight by the Checquy. There is also the beginning of legislation that no EVA can ever belong to the Crown, but is a full citizen with all the rights and responsibilities thereof.

Countries all around Europe – and beyond, if I understand correctly – want to hear about how this might be possible. As of now, only Greece and the Netherlands allow EVAs full citizenship. In the US, under the guise of “employment”, ‘Supes’ as we’re called, are expected to sign away their citizenship rights and are <strike>the property</strike> “assets” of a corporation. It’s good that we’ll be visible, and hopefully protected, but it means big changes for all aspects of the Checquy: even the Court itself. Hopefully, this time next year, I still have a job and won’t be – shudder – a cop.

Per the schedule I drew up a few days ago, Robert and Eliza have been making calls to governments when necessary; while I’m not great at glad-handing in general, at least these two don’t get hung up on within seconds. If a municipality isn’t readily agreeable, Alex takes care of finding ways into their CCTV feeds. Meanwhile, Teddy is back from The Hague and arranging a rotating two-week schedule of Pawns to be incidental security for the trip.

Which is lucky, because all of me is in the Rookery when a huge motion on the vidfeed threatens to make me seasick. Costa’s buttoncam lurched across a room – looks like a public toilet – making me wonder if she’s well. I scan the other cams, find her, Clifton and Thomas in a room together and enlarge that, pairing it with Costa’s cam. 

All three women are in a plush lav off the hotel lobby. Costa is picking herself up off the ground after tripping (?) probably as a way to get my attention. I can only assume Zhang is blocking the door from outside. None of this is out of the ordinary, except Thomas’ body posture is rigid while her face is kind of dreamy.

Shit.

Clifton’s using her EVA and leaning hard, it looks like. Fuckit, Myf, why are you not wearing the white-noise earbuds I gave you?

I have Teddy text Zhang’s phone, and I switch a feed to his button cam. He makes no move to answer the text, despite the double-buzz. Bloody hell, if I use the Checquy override code, I can make his phone beep, but it will be audible inside the loo. If I text Costa, she will not check, either, because she’s focused on what’s happening between the women. And I definitely won’t use the override with her right there. Clifton _should_ know I’m watching, but no reason to advertise. I need her to slip up badly if I’m going to take down a Bishop.

Eliza finishes a call and I have Robert hang up abruptly on Romania – I already have access to their feeds after the recent op in Bucharest. I text Zhang from all four phones, pressing ‘Send’ just a second apart in a circle. Finally! He checks it.

_You’re a pro for not answering texts while on duty. Now go in the loo, quietly, lock the door, and LET ME HEAR!!!_

Four variations of that spam his screen, but the other three specifically namecheck Alex. My phone rings as his button cam swings and shows me the door of the loo. I pick up, start recording and mute the call, then grimace at the incidental noise as Zhang slides the phone inside his suitcoat breast pocket and enters the lav. Quietly, he locks the entry and stays there in the shadows slightly down the hall.

“…overwhelming, isn’t it, Myfanwy? …Just two months ago you barely left the home or your office but to go from one to the other… this is so much responsibility for one little paper-pusher like you…” Clifton takes a breath and Costa looks up at the hotel camera. Her hand is on her piece but hasn’t been drawn yet. I wish I could signal to her that I’m seeing this but that’s the frustration of monitoring – it’s only useful in some small ways, and best if I had a body there. “Maybe once we get back to London, it’d be easiest if you stayed back and let me take over the rest of the speaking engagements…”

So _that’s_ her plan. True, with another six weeks of the tour, it’s more than half of the schedule. Plenty of time for people to forget that at one point there were two women presenting instead of just one. Since Clifton was there all along, it’d be easy enough for her to say she was giving a junior some experience but really the whole thing was her idea. Insidious, but a step up from life-threatening. Maybe Brussels was just meant to scare Myf?

“…and to have to do it all alone… I heard that you came back early from your weekend in Venice…I’m sorry things aren’t going well with your fellow Rook…life is so much easier when you have support…” Costa looks back up at the cam and flicks her attention down the hall quickly. She knows Zhang is here, but when it comes to incapacitating a superior, she needs to have more than suspicion. “…in fact, when someone you’ve loved for so long goes away, it just opens up…like an abyss…all the hurt… the pain… the trauma… it just threatens to swallow you…”

She’s feeling around, trying to find something she can build on.

“…you’ve not made a lot of friends in your past decade at the Checquy, have you?... no one to call on … no fellow hen to get you through a breakup… it almost seems as if you’ve no one…nobody likes you…and with your sister exiled…dead parents…you lost your only friend by ending your affair…it’s all just so empty, isn’t it?”

At this, Clifton looks into the large mirror over the vanity and makes eye contact with Costa. “…even the security guard decides to abandon you, Myfanwy…she just…leaves the room…afraid of what will happen to her if she doesn’t…will she get fired?... will something worse happen? …she just leaves the room. ” Costa has her white-noise earbud in, I can see it. But does she tip off Clifton that we’ve found a way around her EVA? She flicks her eyes down the hall, then hangs her head and leaves.

Quietly, Zhang disengages the bolt, Costa opens the door, deflects an angry hotel guest, and then stands in front of the door. I switch Costa’s cam off the vidfeed, since it’s no use to me now, and Eliza texts her confirmation that she made the right choice. I’m down to just the single view from the hotel cam and the sound from Zhang’s phone. He knows that he’s it, so he chances it and inches closer to where the women are standing.

“Now you’re truly…alllllll alone, Myfanwy…there’s no one to help you…no one to turn to…even if your Gestalt was watching, would they help you right now?... you broke their hearts…you have no friends… you’re in over your head at work…” From a nail-care kit in her purse, Clifton draws a small pair of sharp scissors. “Farrier told me…you needed something to dull the pain…” she stretches out her hand, holding out the scissors to Myfanwy. “Wouldn’t it be nice to dull the pain right now? …Wouldn’t it be nice… to slip into that void?...To just let all of it go?... To let the emptiness take you?” Myf nods slowly.

What? Bleeding hell, Thomas! Fucking Zhang, get in there! Oh fuck am I recording? Of course I’m recording, he called Alex’s phone. But honestly, nothing she’s said has been enough. I need a little more.

“Why don’t you take these…go back into the stall… and dull the pain?” Myf nods again and reaches for the scissors. Fuck I hope she’s faking it. Is she faking it? I take Alex’s phone off mute but all my breath is held. “If you cut too deep, dear… you’ll hit the femoral artery… the only reason you’d do that… “ As Myfanwy slowly wraps her hand around the scissors, Clifton puts pressure on the tool, digging the pointed tips into the pad of Myf’s fingers. Thomas doesn’t respond. At all. “…would be to end the pain…end the exhaustion…end the lonliness…”

I shout “MOVE” into the phone at the same time an impressive arc bursts and is reflected in the mirror. Zhang shields his eyes and the cam is overexposed, the grainy black-and-white image becoming mostly white. Costa comes back in through the door, weapon drawn. All I hear is thuds and muffled shouts – I can’t tell whose from whose.

“REPORT!” I shout, “PAWN ZHANG, report!”

The image comes back slowly and there’s literal smoke in the air obscuring my view. Zhang is astride Clifton, who is prone, hands behind her, wrists in Zhang’s grip. Costa, with firearm in one hand, is passing Zhang a zip-tie, and the blackened remains of a pair of nail scissors are twisted around the Bishop’s index finger. Costa removes Clifton’s heeled shoes, and Rook Thomas is holding her hands up in front of her. I can’t tell from here, but I’m certain her fingertips are sooty.

Zhang’s voice comes over the phone, muffled by the fabric. “Rook Thomas neutralized the target, sir, before either Pawn Costa or myself were in position to do so.” A grunt or two as the Pawns lift the Bishop to her feet, then allow her to step back into her shoes. “Bishop Clifton has been restrained and will be detained in the Security quarters until the jet arrives tomorrow.”

“Gag her, too,” I say through the tinny speakerphone. Both SecOps look up at the camera in the bathroom.

“That’s not regulation, sir,” says Costa.

“Are there regulations for an EVA who can control your mind through talking?” I spit back. “She tried to take the life of a Rook – I’m not concerned for her comfort!” Even as Alex, my voice may have raised more than a little.

“It’s 14 hours until the flight, sir,” Costa spits back just a fiercely. Dammit, she’s right.

“Is that an order, Rook Gestalt?” replies Zhang. “The earbuds appear to be effective – both Costa and Rook Thomas were able to resist with theirs in and active.” At this point, Myfanwy spins around to the camera and tucks her hair behind her left ear, showing me how the earbud was covered with her new undercut hairstyle.

“Fine. No, no gag. But use a white-noise machine in her room, wear your earbuds at ALL times. Since it’s evening, anyway, why don’t you give her two Ambien and we’ll just keep her asleep until the jet arrives. Those are my orders.” I take four very long, very silent, deep breaths. “I will see you tomorrow. Call me with any developments.”

I’m still not comfortable with Clifton just flapping her mouth free. I send a text to the two pawns:  
_In addition, get some Anbesol. Once she’s knocked out, I want you to COAT her mouth with it – teeth, gums, cheeks, lips. If I can’t gag her, I can at least disable her mouth. Do it again in the morning before she wakes up. _

It’s not the best – but it’s the best I can do.

As the figures on the screen begin to shuffle out of the lav, I disconnect the phone and look at my selves. This feels very familiar, like the day I decided I couldn’t stand seeing her jog past my house anymore. But this time I know more about the way my bodies are handling emotions when it comes to her. Although a week is barely enough time to process a breakup, Robert’s had plenty of practice with this revolving door, so ideally, it’d be his body that goes. But Clifton is a tall and strong woman – no one will believe that I’d send either Robert or Eliza. Alex – it seems like it would be cruel to both me and Myf to send him, considering he was there for the argument. So Tay-oh-door it is, I guess. With him feeling the feelings first, it hardly seems like the right decision, but it will look correct from the outside.

I send him and Eliza home quickly, pack my Sennheiser over-ears into my prepped go-bag, and have her drive him to the airfield to get on the jet leaving for Berlin. Alex downloads the recording and stops by the King’s office to debrief and present the evidence – copies kept, of course. Without knowing the future of the speaking tour, I have Robert pack up the office and wait for Eliza to make it back into town to pick the rest of me up.

\---

Fuck it hurts to see her.

I mean, on the vidfeed is bad enough, but she’s here. I could touch her.

Still, left to process emotions on his own, Teddy defaults to anger and that suits my purposes. She waves from the tarmac. I glower. I’m on the ground to receive the prisoner and Myf is a little ahead of the crowd.

“Gestalt – I…”

I stiffen, involuntarily. “Rook Thomas, I’m glad to see you are unharmed.” Something like a grimace happens in Teddy’s mouth area. “You performed admirably in the field.” She opens her mouth to say something else and I half-turn, anticipating the handoff from Zhang.

I grab Clifton and shuffle her to cargo – where she assumed I would be with the prisoner last time there was such cause. She gets a rumble seat like for paratroopers, behind a steel-mesh door. Her mouth is moving like she's eating something sticky, her lips fat and her tongue thick, keeping her from really forming audible words. Good, Anbesol achieved. I buckle her in, saying, “Well, dis is cozy, innit? Noice. And. Tight.” Perhaps the belt is just a little more snug than it needs to be. As I slam the door shut between us and lock it, I do consider it’s keeping me out just as well as keeping her in. And I allow myself one dig. “Yanno…even wifout the earbud I don’t fink you’da got her.” I sniff and scratch my nose. “Dat girl chose dis life – twice – why da _fuck_ would she throw it away?” I wait a beat. “Certainly not over me, anyway.” 

Her face looks like her brain lost what she was going to say. I turn around and see Myf in the doorway. I shrug and raise an eyebrow, daring her to contradict me. She’s the one who left, after all. Between the two stammering women, I keep eye contact with the one, with blank-face pull out my headphones and make a show of shutting them both out.

Myf leaves before I even have them plugged into my phone, so I just don’t bother and strap myself in.

A text comes through before takeoff:  
_Thanks for the backup. _


	7. Five weeks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bringing Clifton back to the Checquy's basement, the Rooks have to endure a debrief and the rest of a workday. The closeness triggers an intense memory for Gestalt.  
\---  
It doesn’t help me, though. Under the rose oil smell lingering in her office, and her new citrus perfume, there’s an undeniable scent of something uniquely her, something I was privileged to smell only a scant few times but sends me back immediately to our most intimate moments. They say the sense of smell is the most effective at triggering memories, and these memories are hardly safe for work. As Robert walks her through the report, I try to keep his distance from her hair, her neck, her body in general.

The flight was nothing: two hours flying West means it’s only an hour later than takeoff when we touch down Friday morning. It’s two hours I spent deciding which me to send to help with the prisoner – well one hour deciding and one hour fighting traffic – and I settled on Alex. I’m not betting on her having seen r/QuadSighting, and she has no way of knowing which body discovered her letter, but for my sake, it’s Alex.

Interesting, she did flinch a little when she saw him. Maybe she _was_ trolling the subreddit in the past two weeks.

The twins keep Clifton between them – Alex brought another white-noise earbud from the Checquy – and escort her to the SUV. She’s still out of it from the Ambien, but upright, so I smear some more Anbesol in her mouth after buckling her into the back seat. I don’t have to speak out loud on the drive back, so there’s nothing she can use against me.

We get her situated in the deluxe suite in the basement –nah, not really, it’s exactly the same as all the others – and pass on information about the earbuds, keeping at least two at the guard station. This is really a situation for Conrad; although Chess-wise, a Bishop is worth fewer points than a Rook, and since our duties never overlap, it’s never been really clear if we are the same rank, or if I’m above her. She certainly acts like she has rank on me, so I don’t want any of it unless specifically ordered to do so.

Climbing the stairs, I wonder if Grantchester is here for a debrief. I probably should at least check – even though he’s seen the footage and heard the recording, he’ll probably want a personal view. Robert meets the twins at the King’s office doors with the completed report. Considering the last time we spoke at length it was when Teddy burst into a meeting, he could win some points back by being professional through this one. Of course, Grantchester knows we’re all me, but it’s difficult to erase associations with one body’s behavior.

The EA looks at Teddy approaching and gets up to stand in front of the double-doors. “Nah,” I say, “Don’ worry – I came t’see _you_. See if the King wants the report in writin or in person.” I stop by her desk and rap Teddy’s knuckles on it. It takes a moment, but she decides I won’t try to barge in once she’s moved, so she comes back to her desk and pulls up Grantchester’s calendar.

“He’s in with Roo—Myfanwy right now,” she pauses, poised to run back to the office door as she gauges my reaction to that news, “as scheduled since we were expecting the flight – he does have a brief de-brief with you squeezed in, overlapping, in about 10 minutes.” Rose looks up and imperiously waves to the glass-enclosed seating area tucked around the corner from the office entrance. I shake my head and pace instead. She sits back down, only glaring occasionally.

Eventually, she looks up and gestures me toward the doors. “The king is ready for you now,” she says, and I bring Teddy into the office. Myfanwy – I don’t know what her title is now – is seated on the sofa and Conrad across from her, both with tea. Rose has followed me in, asking if I would like a cup and I nod. She exits, closing the doors behind her.

Grantchester presses his hands together, taking in a deep breath. “Rooks – I specifically did not ask Thomas about her experience in the hotel lavatory last night, wanting to have you both here at once, but I did play the video with sound for her. I know I can piece together everything, but I’d like to hear from each of you. Thomas?”

She’s been flicking her gaze at me this entire time, but of all the things Teddy’s good at, remaining impassive ranks near the top of the list. It’s easier for me to keep my gaze centered forward and my face blank with his body than with others; it’s harder when it’s her, but of the me’s, he has the easiest time with this difficult situation. A jaw-clench here, a fist-flex there, but that’s about it. Emotionally, he – I mean, myself – is a wreck, but physically, he can hold it in.

“Well, before the trip began, Rook Gestalt provided me with a white-noise earbud and a white-noise machine for use in my room. They were obviously prepared for the possibility that Clifton would try something using her EVA in a different way than usual. I’m not exactly sure of the science behind it, but I could hear well enough for close conversation, and the interference kept her from being able to influence me too much.

“The recording gets most of it – before that happened, Clifton suggested we freshen up before we were supposed to meet the minister for dinner. We only had about twenty minutes, so not long enough to go upstairs and come back. It was an old-fashioned gendered lav, so Zhang stood outside while Costa came in to make sure it was clear/safe. As we were cleaning up, once the Bishop began talking, Costa managed to trip on something, which interrupted Claudia’s flow and I got clear enough to put in my earbud. By the time she got back to it, I was trying to counter what she was saying by repeating nonsense to myself while pretending to be zoned out and under her thrall.”

She’s changed her perfume – it’s citrusy now instead of floral. She’s kept up her haircut, though, as far as I can tell from the corner of Teddy’s eye. The nervous tics are the same, the hair-chewing didn’t stay long, she’s back to tapping her index finger on her elbow and tapping her foot at every third count. Her posture’s different, though, with trousers on, she has her ankle balanced on one knee in a more masculine pose than she’d have ever taken before.

Grantchester is nodding, considering the chain of events. “Before we go any further, Gestalt, can you add to that?” So I fill him in on the video of pissed-off Clifton, the call with Costa and asking her to use motion to get my attention. I detail where the cameras were and how the audio was recorded. That Zhang is a third witness to most of the event. “And what made you decide to command your ops to move in?”

“Well, sir, she handed the target a weapon – a target with a history of self-harm – and was using her influence ability to try to trigger that harm at a level which was implied to be lethal. The words ‘femoral artery’ and ‘end the pain’ and ‘slip into the void’ all indicated lethal intent. In my judgment, restraining the Bishop was called for, and you heard me call for a gag. All non-lethal, non-violent means of ending the threat, which my ops were prepared to complete successfully.”

More nodding from the King. “Thomas? You disagreed? You felt significantly threatened to respond with potentially-lethal force?” She bristles, uncrosses both her legs and arms and sits up straighter.

“Considering that Clifton had already staged a nearly-successful attack on my person, and – as relayed to me by my security detail – had responded violently to the news about our schedule changes, I wasn’t ready to bet my well-being on her reacting reasonably to the fact that I’d been able to avoid her EVA. When I heard the order from Rook Gestalt, I made a split-second decision to use my own EVA in defense; I’ve been training – the results of which you’ve monitored – and have not set any buildings on fire in 15 years. So I felt confident I could detain her and not kill her. I responded with non-lethal force, which assisted the ops in their intent to restrain the Bishop.”

“I see. Well, that all seems aboveboard to me, but you understand there will need to be an official inquiry into the discharge of a Checquy weapon. Your reports will help, and this meeting is being recorded, as you’re well-aware, Rook Gestalt.” Of course, Alex is in the Box, making sure the audio is captured, stored, and transcribed via speech-to-text software, as per usual.

“_Excuse me?!?_” Myf is pissed to a degree which I have never seen before – especially not in a formal meeting. “A Checquy weapon?” The King has the wherewithal to appear slightly embarrassed. “I’m out there for _weeks_ talking about reform, about how the organization is moving toward viewing EVAs as full citizens, not assets, and you just casually refer to _me_ as a _weapon? _What about _you_, King Conrad? Are you just a gun to be discharged? A tool in a box to be pulled out when necessary?” Her face is red and spittle flecks are gathering at the corners of her mouth. She moves to get up and Teddy’s hand shoots out, pulling her down by the hem of her blazer, almost reflexively.

“Cool it, Thomas,” I intone in his deep, flat voice. “Changes are ‘appenin, an’ language habits are hard to break. You deployed your weapon, I’m sure iz wot he meant. You can be bof.” She looks at me like I’m a traitor, and maybe I am being disloyal, but to what? To the hope that when she ‘finds herself’ she may find her way back to me? Sorry, it’s too soon for that.

“Thank you, Rook Gestalt, you are correct that I misspoke. We’ll be changing the language on the forms and in our public speech, but it will take conscious effort to always refer to employees as such, as opposed to assets. More to the point, please leave your written reports with me and I will make sure they get to Internal Affairs.” Myfanwy looks confused – of course she hasn’t filled one out. Grantchester sighs. “Thomas, since you’re not used to filling out or reviewing such, please confer with Gestalt to make sure you’ve completed it to the best of your ability.” Teddy looks down at his hands and his jaw flexes. “Speaking of – I’m sure you’re aware that the scientists at New Glengrove are circumspect but do also report to me. I’ve heard that whatever is happening between you is on pause at the moment – or ended? – but I’d like to say that while the Checquy changes, it is probably in your best interest to keep your personal lives separate from your work lives as much as possible. Is that clear?”

“No prollem,” Teddy says, perhaps too quickly. Myfanwy just nods and keeps her eyes on the floor between her feet. We both get up, exiting the office, Teddy holding the door for his…Queen? Nothing was clarified.

As we walk down the stairs, she glances over her shoulder at me. “Don’t worry,” Myf says, “I know my way around a form, I won’t bother you for this.”

“Don’t be daft,” I say, as Robert meets her at the foot of the stair, taking her by the elbow, holding out a USB fob. “These reports are different but just as exacting as your financials. You need timestamps, you need language about split-second decisions and rationales for action. I told you I’d be your backup, and that means for whatever. Your office?” He holds the door to her own desk open for her.

As they sit down together, she clenches her own jaw a few times. It might not help that Robert was the last body she had sex with, but he also has the most legible handwriting and brought my copy of the last report so we can corroborate accounts. There’s nothing for it. And it might make me feel a little better to see her squirm. Maybe.

It doesn’t help _me_, though. Under the rose oil smell lingering in her office, and her new citrus perfume, there’s an undeniable scent of something uniquely _her_, something I was privileged to smell only a scant few times but sends me back immediately to our most intimate moments. Her skin, her sweat, the dampness between her thighs – they say the sense of smell is the most effective at triggering memories, and these memories are hardly safe for work. As Robert walks her through the report, I try to keep his distance from her hair, her neck, her body in general.

It's a rough twenty minutes, and Alex has a hard time, because he was in the room as it had been happening. For now, I keep his eyes focused on the monitors and Eliza forces the thoughts through that Myf left the door open. It’s not a forgone conclusion that we’ll never get to have a night like that again. Teddy harbors quieter thoughts about pushing too hard and revealing that secret too soon, giving Myfanwy no other choice but to be overwhelmed and afraid of losing herself to my memories of her. Robert thinks about each specific field to fill out on the forms.

When we’re done, we go about our day. Teddy goes home to sleep – the night was not restful, taking turns on watch over the political prisoner – and Eliza gets close to a pickpocket who can deflect attention away from himself. Alex helps on monitors and Robert reads up on proposed policy and structure changes for the Checquy so I’ll know what may be in store once we’re fully privatized.

The hours pass, but still charged with the tension from being so close to Myf, Eliza drives like a maniac home, and instead of starting my usual post-work wind-down, I send each body to their preferred spaces. Alex rolls out a yoga mat in the workout room, Eliza takes the bed, Robert pulls the blinds in the living room and stretches out on the couch while Teddy draws a bath. All of me breathes in deeply, imagining we can smell the rose oil and the deeper scent which is just _Myfanwy_ as I remember back to the first night in Venice.

\---

When we brought her back from the meeting, the first round was energetic and ecstatic…and not gonna lie … a little desperate because we hadn’t been together for weeks. It was fun, but it was after her run and after dinner when I really felt like I communicated my feelings to her. We’d eaten and enjoyed a drink on the private beach, watching the sunset and talking about nothing of dire consequence. She was telling me about things she’s discovered she likes – food, music, books – and asked me to tell her about my favorites. She was adamant that I not tell her if her new taste was like or unlike her old, probably for my sake as much as her own, and it was a lot like typical early-date material that I’ve experienced when earning a target’s trust.

It was fun, and I remember talking, the feeling of the sun, going from separate beach chairs with her holding one hand each of Robert and Alex’s, to her climbing on to Robert’s chair for full-body contact and makeouts. That body is a lot stronger than it appears, and Myfanwy being so slight, he easily picked her up and carried her to the bedroom.

“I can manage to walk, even with your weak-knee inducing kisses,” she said as she half-heartedly smacked Robert’s shoulder. He bent down to nuzzle her neck.

“Careful what you wish for – if I put you down, I may just pick you up again with Alex, and you know he’ll just do a dreadful fireman’s carry and joke the whole time.” She laughed and turned her face for a kiss as the short walk ended and Robert deposited her on the bed. I had Alex curl up in a window seat nearby, facing the bed and she turned to look at him.

“One body/one set of senses?” she asked, and I nodded both heads. “Ok, I know it’s all you, but… could we turn out the light, then?” I looked at myself and shrugged; it made no difference if Alex could see or not. There was still some sunlight coming in, though it was quickly darkening, but I had time to stare at her face and cup her cheek in Robert’s hand.

“I know I said it earlier, but you are so goddamned beautiful, Myfanwy.” I thought I could see color flood her cheeks, but the twilight made it difficult to be sure. I knelt Robert down at the foot of the bed, where her ankles hung off the edge. I brushed the sand off her bare feet, softly kissing each arch until her toes curled. She laughed softly, only slightly ticklish. I moved up to her ankles, sucking and licking on the protruding bones until the laughs became sighs, and licked up her right Achilles’ tendon, then took the left one gently in my teeth.

I slid Robert’s hands behind her calves and crouched at an awkward angle, moving his head from left to right, kissing up their length until I got to her knees. Her hands twisted in the bedsheets and her breathy noises alone would have been enough to get Alex hard, even if I wasn’t seeing for all of me. My thumbs pressed on the tender flesh behind her joints, and I squeezed in a way to make her understand she should turn over, which she did. Leaning over, I took my time having Robert lick the sensitive spot while his hands caressed the back of her thighs. She started to ask something, a partial “what?” escaping her lips until the sensation turned her speech to moans and she buried her head in the pillow. I switched to the other knee, lazily pretending I wasn’t feeling urgent at all…couldn’t smell the excitement leaking out of her nearly two feet away.

Right now, in this moment, I inhale deeply at the memory, luxuriating in the smell from my mind. Eliza takes a deep breath with her head buried in Myfanwy’s windbreaker that was still hanging in the hall. With the males, I pinch the base of each erect cock with one hand and gently cup the balls with the other, rolling them in my fingers. Teddy circles a nipple, while Robert lets his pinky press against his perineum. Eliza’s finger traces along the trimmed hairline of her outer lips while her other hand traces around an areola.

Back in the memory, Robert questioned Myf’s reaction to the attention to her knees – and pitying her past lovers for neglecting that sensitive area. She replied, “None in memory, at least,” and I was reminded it was just me…and _him… _she would remember. I had to distract myself by pushing back the hem of the short sundress she had changed into before dinner, making Robert’s hands lightly graze Myfanwy’s tiny but round buttocks as his alternating kisses travelled up the back of her thighs. She began pressing her hips into the bed, gyrating, and I strengthened his touch to hold her still. I licked where her glutes joined her thighs, and devoured her backside: licking, sucking, gently biting, taking as much into my mouth as I could, moaning against her while Robert’s long fingers attempted to fully encircle her waist. She lifted her hips up into me, noises still muffled into the pillow beneath her. No longer satisfied with these quieted expressions, I twist her hips back again, and she helped me turn her over.

“Gestalt, I’m going fucking insane here…” she panted, “I will beg you if that’s what you want.” Robert’s eyes twinkled and I gave her his sexiest smile.

“Is that what you want? Or do you want me to keep worshipping you? Taking every inch of you into my memory to make it last the next three weeks that you’re gone?” She groaned in frustration and dropped her head back on the pillow dramatically.

“Demon,” she said, with a wicked smile to match every time I’d ever called her that.

I reared back on the bed and undid Robert’s belt buckle, very slowly pulled it through the loops, then tossed it aside. I slid him backward off the bed, stood and stepped out of his slacks, revealing a small pair of black cotton bikini briefs with a pronounced bulge.

“Show me?” she asked, and the desire in her eyes and voice made me nearly cum right there. Not trusting myself to touch anywhere in the area, I kept his eye contact with her and unbuttoned the shirt, laying it gently on top of the discarded trousers. I shook Robert’s head no and climbed back on the bed.

Starting in front where I left off on the back side, I spread her thighs and kissed where her femurs joined her hips, right in the very sensitive spot. Robert has actually made targets – both male and female – orgasm just from that, mixed with anticipation and sweet words. But I didn’t want this to be a routine, I didn’t want to use tactics. I never had with Myfanwy, and I wasn’t about to start. I made it very brief, and concentrated on what I had told her I was doing – taking in every possible inch of her.

It was still long enough that her moans gave two bodies the release that they needed from this. I smiled, making eye contact with her, and a noise from Alex gave me away. “Did you let someone come?” she asked, and I made Robert’s face as innocent as possible. She made a delicious noise before continuing, “I’m not sure if I feel flattered, or if I think that’s cheating.” So I smiled again, and moved my mouth gently over her mons. Her eyelids fluttered and she stopped talking.

Preceding Robert’s lips with his hands, I moved up to her hips, kissing in all the little hollows and enclaves I could find. I pressed a slightly-silly kiss into her belly button and she laughed again a little, but I could tell that the flush in her cheeks was also making her expression slack. I scooted up at an awkward angle, and kissed the tender area between her ribcage and hip, tonguing, licking and sucking until her noises should have been able to be heard all up and down the beach.

“Fuuuuuuck…the fffffffffffffuck….” She said, eloquently.

Just remembering those noises gives Eliza enough cause to slide a third finger inside, and each of my male bodies needs to stop stroking. Teddy has to pinch his base again, but it may not be enough. A few deep breaths and I feel ready to proceed back into the memory.

I had been inching the sundress up as I went, but at this height it would be ridiculous not to pull it off. After doing so, Robert returned to center, kissing below her sternum and up between her incredible breasts. Her chest was pink and unsure whether she could take it, I held his mouth over one nipple, breathing hot air onto it. “If you do, I’ll cum,” she managed, breathily, so I got on the bed on all fours, underwear still on, legs and arms on either side of her body. Leaning just my neck down, Robert tentatively took her lips, gently parting them with a kiss, I pushed his tongue just barely inside, touching the tip of her tongue before breaking contact. She whimpered. I buried his fingers in her hair, thumbs stroking her severe cheekbones, looking into her enormous eyes.

That eye contact wanted to tell her how much I cared, how much I wanted her, how beautiful I found her, how difficult it was to keep this slow. It was too much for one look, so I combined it with another slow and deep kiss as I lowered Robert’s body onto hers, pressing the full weight of my feelings into her along with the weight of him. Her feet slid up my calves as her hands touched his shoulders, chest, waist, and as much of his ass as he could reach. It was all I could do to not push his still-clothed cock into her pussy that was so wet it was soaking those briefs.

I broke the kiss and pushed back onto Robert’s knees again, both her chest and mine heaving with the breathing. Her eyes were bright and clear, more alert than the moments before when my explorations had her floating in a stupor. She touched my hand and I pressed a thumb into one palm while I brought her other to my lips. Her lids lowered again.

I got off the bed again, and knelt at the foot. Finally, finally I allowed myself to part her thighs with my hands and ran my nose along her cleft, breathing her in, and following it with a light caress of Robert’s tongue. She shuddered at even just that, which was no surprise because she was positively dripping and the wet spot was already growing beneath her hips. I buried my face in her trimmed bush and inhaled deeply.

Right now, Eliza breathed in the smell of her coat again, and it was too much for Teddy. He caught most of it in his washcloth, and retrieved the extra one to clean himself off, sinking down into the bubbles to keep from breaking the memory’s spell.

I was ready to show Myfanwy just how skilled Robert could be, orally, pull out all the best moves, but she was too far gone from the foreplay. She leaned up and caught the top of his skull, thrusting her hips into his mouth, grinding in a circular motion. Honestly, it may have been just the tip of his nose against her clit which did her in, rather than how deep his tongue was thrusting. I gasped for air as I licked and sucked and she clenched and climaxed. At some point, Robert’s hands pinned her hips to the bed to keep her from grinding against his teeth. In the din she made during her O, Alex was able to let go, as well. But I was saving Robert.

Desperately, she whined and pulled him up as she slowed, twitches shaking her body. I crawled up beside her and she pulled Robert close. I buried his head in her neck, and after a few minutes, she pulled his face up to look at him.

“Please…even if that was something you use on marks…” I widened his eyes and shook his head no.

“There have been slow seductions, Myfanwy,” I said, “but I have never wanted every inch of someone the way I want you.” Her eyes closed and she took another deep breath. The kiss she replied with is burned into my memory – deep, strong, intense, pulling me toward her as if we could not be even molecules apart.

At that, Eliza came: one thumb on her clit with her whole hand inside, and the other hand holding the coat to her neck so she wouldn’t spill tears onto it. The orgasm paired with an intense sob that I didn’t bother smothering; it felt good to get it out.

The kisses in the memory continued for some time, with Myfanwy’s hands touching parts of Robert in turn. “It’s not enough of you, Gestalt,” she said, “it feels incomplete.” I remember shushing her and whispering comfort that I was waiting for her in London, all hers, every part. When the kisses got hungrier, she tugged at Robert’s briefs and I slowly slipped them off.

I tucked one knee between her two, and slid it up until she could ride it. Her hands went to my cock, and I hissed softly – I was too close. “I mean it,” she said, “I want to see you.” And she pressed her hand against my chest with enough pressure that I knew she was serious. She’d seen each of us at her flat before she left last month, and we’d been in the dark so long I was afraid the light would kill the mood. I stood up and put my hand questioningly on the light switch. “No, no, my eyes adjusted. There’s a moon,” In the dimness, I stood naked at the foot of the bed. “Mmmmmmm…” she drew out, and for the first time in many years, I felt shy as Robert. I turned my face away as I slowly rolled on a rubber, but then turned back, taking her in with my eyes. The moonlight hit her pale skin, her hair, her breasts, her eyes, and I kept staring at her as I crawled back into the bed.

On all fours above her again, I focused the energy of four brains on not achieving orgasm as I slid Robert’s length into her as slowly as humanly possible. It took actual minutes. Her eyes were wild and she was propped up on her elbows, trying to see what was taking so long. About halfway in, her muscles began contracting around my cock, trying to pull me in faster. She’d throw her head back and groan in frustration. When she looked at me, I knew – she wanted _me_, ferociously. Maybe she just wanted sex, but I could tell myself that this particular look was for _me._

When I finally bottomed out, I dropped my weight onto her chest, exhausted. I kissed her, moving my hips just slightly, slowly, knowing too much would trigger me too quickly. I filled her mouth with my tongue, I rolled us onto our sides. Our limbs tangled, our hands in each other’s hair, We touched each other everywhere as I moved against her, with one of her legs thrown over my hip.

I couldn’t keep it back anymore, and I moved above her again. I kept the pace slow and steady, grinding my pelvic bone against her clit, thrusting gently so she wasn’t being rammed against the headboard. She kept eye contact with me and touched Robert’s face. Suddenly, she wrapped her ankles above my knees, levered her hips up to mine, and touched one of her nipples, twisting.

I lowered my mouth to her other one, trying to suck on it, and I slid out of her due to the angle. “Fuck,” we both spit, in unison, and I let her help guide me back into her. This time I leaned back and used my hand to tease her tits as I got back up from the interruption. “Oh, Myf…Myfanwy…” I was panting her name as I came, sure Robert’s lovestruck face was saying too much and hoping her own orgasm would keep her from seeing. She moaned and panted through her own climax and pulled me down onto her again, even as I was shrinking out of the condom.

“Don’t…don’t get up just yet,” she breathed, keeping me prisoner with her arms around my shoulders and her ankles locked around my waist. I kissed her jawline, her earlobe, her cheek, her neck.

“I’m afraid I’ll spill,” I said after a moment, and extricated myself to clean up in the loo. Quietly, Alex stood up from the window seat and pulled off his now-sticky tracksuit bottoms, and I shucked off his jacket and pulled off his shirt. Sliding him in behind her, I kissed behind her ear and circled her shoulders with his arms. Her eyes were still closed as I returned Robert to the bed facing her.

“Surrounded,” she said, sleepily, for once exhausted instead of exhilarated after sex. I had Robert kiss her cheek from in front and Alex kiss her neck from behind. “I feel very safe right now.”

“With me,” Robert said before Alex continued, “You’re covered from all sides.” She smiled, and her eyelids stayed closed, as I shielded her all through the night.

It was this last bit that lets Alex and Robert finish – the memory of holding her all night was strongest in those two bodies. It wasn’t just protecting her, although that did contribute, but the feeling of completeness that she brought to all the bodies as we slept surrounding her. I felt truly at rest for the first time in a long time.

No one else sobbed like Eliza did, but all the bodies shed tears as the memory came to an end. It was complicated – the feeling of love and loss and hope and self-hatred and blame and anger – all tied up with the physical release I’d needed since the debrief. And while feeling sad after sex isn’t totally foreign to me, this was definitely the strongest it’d ever been.

After a few moments, and a rotation through the two bathrooms, I picked myself up and started dinner. Eliza sat on the couch and stared out the window, though, still holding the coat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot has been leaning away from sexytimes, so I had to relieve the tension and give you a reason to keep reading. 
> 
> I promise it's over soon, if these characters will let me!


	8. Sixteen weeks / four months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Checquy calls a tribunal to get to the bottom of why Bishop Clifton would try to kill for a promotion.

“Costa, you sound too rehearsed. You can’t use the same exact words as Zhang – the tribunal will think you coordinated your stories.”

The female op blows her fringe off her forehead and shifts uncomfortably in her seat. Legal counsel is running through a practice deposition before Clifton’s internal hearing tomorrow. It’s a little bit brutal. Although all of mes will be required to be there tomorrow, Grantchester is allowing only Eliza to attend the practice. Each witness has their own timeslot, but as Operations Rook and a witness myself, it’s my job to supervise my employees, so my day is shot – today _and _tomorrow.

“It’s hard not to sound rehearsed when we’re both field operatives who witnessed and participated in the same event,” she replies. “I’ll try to use some other words, but we’re taught how to write up the incident reports, I’m just trying to stay consistent with that.”

“I get it, I get it,” says the barrister, pausing only long enough to make that semi-believable, “and it’s tough to break those patterns. But to be certain that you’re not charged with mutiny, insubordination, or excessive force, let’s try to make it sound like you were actually frightened for Mz. Thomas’ life, okay?” Costa nods, and then goes into her same recitation once more, but this time with the corners of her mouth pulled down more severely.

“Costa –“ I say, “it’s your job to remain impassive and collected when danger is apparent, and to react appropriately.” I cut my eyes to the legal counsel, “Maybe instead of pretending to be scared, you could mention that part?” He throws up his hands and shakes his head. “Is it better to have her up there looking like she smells something awful?” I swing Eliza’s ponytail over her shoulder, crossing her arms and putting the majority of her weight on her hip. “This is a different type of hearing and you are dealing with a different breed of agent.” He nods slowly and leans over to speak with Costa some more.

Myfanwy appears at the boardroom door, surprised to find it still occupied. I move Alex into the hallway from the box and call, “They’re runnin late, yeah?” She nods and tucks her hair behind her ear, flashing the brown-leather watchband she’s been wearing mostly since her return. Maybe once a week, she’ll wear her green monkstraps or some other piece of clothing, but I can’t acknowledge it even though it feels like twisting the knife. When she sees me, she has the decency to look guilty, but I can hardly expect her to give up a portion of her wardrobe just because I like the color. So I ignore it.

Mostly.

Sometimes I’ll take all myselves out for a run. Somewhere I know r/QuadSighters have seen me before. Or maybe we’ll all go out to brunch at a sidewalk café.

No law against that.

Eliza looks up at Costa, taking her hand and making eye contact. “Thanks for being willing to go through this. I think it will help at least make tomorrow less intimidating.” The op nods and exits the room as Thomas enters. Ever the ice queen – RBF, is it? – I gesture to the head of the table and let the barrister take over.

“Rook Thomas,” he begins, but she cuts him off.

“Mz. Thomas,” she corrects. He looks puzzled.

“Are you not part of the court?” She shrugs and waves a hand in the air.

“Is it important?” she asks.

“Well, this is an internal tribunal and the committee will be made up of employees, so they know you have been part of the high court in the past. Are you a Rook? A Bishop? A…Queen?”

“At the moment, no permanent decision or official announcement has been made regarding my title. I have been a diplomatic envoy when abroad and serving in a supervisory role in the Support Department when I am in the office. Which is not often.”

I can’t help but roll my eyes – Robert and Alex’s, that is, since Eliza has to keep her composure. Thomas has been ‘back’ for almost a month but on day-trips and in-town but offsite political meetings most days. She’s all but Queen – I guess it’s just not savvy to announce it until all this Clifton nonsense is sorted.

To be honest, this is the longest I’ve spent in the same room as her since the letter. My Rook meetings have been with Ingrid, who is still “interim”, which is shit for her income, but still promising. When Thomas is in town, she’ll attend Court meetings if she doesn’t have anything else pressing, but can get away with hanging at the outskirts instead of being seated at the table, so most times I don’t have to look at her directly. I put Eliza’s hand to her nose and breath in the body’s own scent: talcum and jasmine. I can’t possibly smell Myfanwy from here, but the suggestion of it is hitting me pretty strongly.

Her testimony is lucid, yet emotional. She shows that she was vulnerable but found the strength to act in her own defense. She doesn’t look like a victim, and she doesn’t look like a power-hungry maniac. She doesn’t even blink when legal suggests it.

“There are those who say that Clifton should have been Queen the minute Farrier left, yet Grantchester made no secret that you were under consideration. How did that make you feel?”

“Surprised, actually, considering I had given the King a proposal which found the budget for myself and Rook Woodhouse to split the support duties and continue on together until the Court’s configuration had been settled. I didn’t feel I was ready or equipped for the station, but I was flattered by his confidence in me and my abilities.”

The questioning went on, prodding at any jealousy or resentment she may have had toward the Bishop. Certainly, in the past, Clifton’s duties were much more like what Conrad did as Queen, but it’s a new day for the Checquy and the transition isn’t as silky as we’d like. I’d be surprised if “the Court” survives our privatization – tradition be damned. At least I’m not a cop.

Yet.

Teddy keeps “questioning” an EVA who was draining norms of their energy. A rash of worse-than-usual flu and some severe cases of fatigue/exhaustion were the worst results, so maybe his intensity was a little uncalled for. But maybe standing in a room all day, continuously talking and hearing about saving the life of your almost-ex is also uncalled for.

Thomas looks at her watch, stopping legal mid-sentence. “Sorry, speaking of my work-related duties, I have happy hour drinks with an Ambassador or two. I need to leave now if I want to meet them on time. I appreciate all your help.”

This time Eliza does roll her eyes, and I think Myf catches it. She flushes, which makes Eliza’s cheeks flame in response. There’s a brief moment of eye contact, and proving I have absolutely no game but all of the shame, I turn away first, holding the door open for her. She looks back over her shoulder.

“Gestalt…I…it’s good to see you.”

“Mz. Thomas,” is the only reply she gets.

I turn back to the barrister, who waves an arm. “Have a seat,” he says. After so many repetitions today, nothing much comes as a surprise, except when he shares that my bodies may be questioned separately. I roll my eyes. “I know, and it’s ridiculous that your EVA isn’t common knowledge, but the committee members may not know you or understand when explained.”

“Can we just limit it to the me’s that were directly involved?” He nods a few times like this is reasonable, while he’s flipping through my report, making a ‘hmmmm’.

“Sure, sure, let me see – it looks like Robert took a call from Costa earlier in the day, Alex’s phone was broadcasting the call from Zhang, Eliza was watching the videofeed and texting with Costa, and Teddy went to secure the suspect and transfer her into custody? So I think, yes, we can be sure that only your bodies which were involved are questioned.”

“Bloody hell. And will the fact that I only filed one report be taken into consideration? Or will they call each of me up there for the bits that body was involved in?”

Smug jackass wags his head from shoulder to shoulder. “Remains to be seen. Your EVA is in the brief and hopefully will be explained, but we need to be prepared for every eventuality. Remember, words only account for 7% of communication – your posture and body language will say more than your mouth. So it would be good…if we could practice…that.”

“Right. Well, I was told one body would be enough, so let’s just pretend, shall we?” And I go through the motions – of course, imperfectly, since different bodies do different things – eventually bringing in Alex to do both of the identical twins. It’s bizarre how difficult it is to see Teddy in Alex, even with the help of a hairband.

“Can you tell me, though,” I ask as Alex-Alex, not Alex-Teddy, “why all these questions about Thomas’ motive or such? Isn’t a tribunal just to award punishment to Clifton for trynta kill her?” The barrister’s eyes cut to the right and he evades a direct answer with legalese I don’t like.

“One last thing,” he says as both of me are leaving the room. Eliza stops with the door in her hand, blank look on her face. “Is it true, Rook Gestalt, that you were romantically involved with Mz. Thomas at the time of the attack?”

Without a blink, without changing expression, I say, “It is not.”

\---

The already eerily-quiet room being used for the tribunal suddenly falls entirely silent.

Grantchester’s last sentence hangs in the air.

Dammit, when he skipped deposition practice yesterday, he told me his personal lawyer had already put him through the paces. That and the words he just uttered make me entirely unable to trust him.

The lights flicker almost imperceptibly – I probably would not have caught it if Myfanwy’s hand wasn’t clenching Alex’s like a vise. Two of the committee members notice, too.

“Settle it, Thomas. If they think you can’t control yourself, you’re sunk.” She looks at Alex’s face, then flicks back to Eliza’s, which is more naturally forgiving. She’s not breathing. “You need to exhale, Myfanwy, very slowly,” I say from Eliza’s mouth, and I allow myself to rub her back. I also allow myself to express frustration at being put in the position to care for Mz. Thomas – Robert crosses his arms and his legs at the ankle, Teddy switches his ankle/knee positions and clenches both his fists and his jaw.

She just sat down beside me, slipping in between the sets of twins as I was being distracted by idiotic small talk before the hearing began. I did not want her here. I could not tell her to leave.

“Do you realize, sir, that a ‘_Battle Royale_’ situation, as you put it, implies a fight to the death?”

“It does not, technically, result in death. But it is a last-man-standing situation. Regardless, I am using it incorrectly because there were only two combatants and not an entire arena full. Shall we continue to argue semantics?”

A gavel bangs and the committee member who was questioning the King fumbles to recover.

“Regardless of whether you intended a literal definition, or the more accessible popular-culture definition where children kill each other on an island, did you actually use the phrase ‘_battle royale_’ with either of the involved parties?”

“I did not.” The room lets out a collectively held breath. Except Myfanwy, who has progressed to hyperventilating. I move Eliza and escort Thomas to the lavatory. “It was more of a mental image that I held, and I shared with this room to allow for you to understand my reasoning.”

“That reasoning being to tell two women – one with a physically-damaging EVA and the other with a mental manipulation EVA – that they are competing for a promotion to the highest level in the Checquy, and then send them out of the country together for weeks on end?”

“That is correct.”

“And with this ‘_battle royale’_ image in mind, you expected only one to emerge triumphant?”

“That is also correct.”

“And after an attempt was made on one of their lives, and evidence was collected that pointed to the other being behind it, you still allowed them to continue on, together, in fact with even less security than before?”

“Yes. I wasn’t aware I was on trial today.”

“We are determining whether Bishop Clifton may have been under the impression that she was following orders by attempting to kill Mz. Thomas.”

“If she was unclear in her objective, she should have asked me. I end every briefing with the phrase, ‘any questions?’, a phrase here which indicates that I am open to further explanation, if needed.”

“Was it your intention that one of the women you told were potential Queens would kill the other?”

“It was not.”

“And you never conveyed to either woman that the only way to become Queen was to kill her competition?”

“Not intentionally, no.”

There it is, fucker, plausible deniability. Meanwhile, Thomas is calming down but not after a lot of wheezing protestation that she even knew Clifton was in the running. Of course she didn’t; King Conrad wanted to see if she could actually defend herself in an appropriate manner. I’m guessing he actually had hoped Myfanwy would kill Clifton – it’d be easier than dealing with this tribunal and eventual detention.

Eliza gives Myfanwy the rundown as we walk back to the large hall. I walk Robert up to the podium to testify on behalf of all my bodies. It was not difficult at all to remind the committee of my EVA and even easier to choose which body would be the mouthpiece. I sit down, this time with Myfanwy closest to the aisle and only next to Eliza.

She’s wearing an emerald green pocket square.

I stare at it as she gives her testimony. She keeps looking at Eliza for support, both during the discussion of Belgium and again during the description of the final confrontation with Clifton. I nod to validate her testimony.

It would be so much easier to hate her, but either way, I don’t think I could have her blood – or imprisonment – on my hands if this tribunal goes unexpectedly sideways.

Clifton’s testimony is desperate. The committee members have white-noise earbuds, and Myf and I both have ours in. She is only asked yes-or-no questions and she was warned that any other embellishment or elaboration would result in more severe punishment.

She is not hooked to a polygraph – we recognize that for the bullshit it is – but there is an agent named Catherine whose EVA allows her to know whether someone is lying or not. She’s been present in my interrogations where I actually need crucial information, and I trust Lying Cat implicitly. She says it causes herself physical pain, like an instant migraine, if she lies to others.

“Lying,” says Catherine, and I look up, my mind having wandered.

Myf whispers to Eliza, “She just said yes, she was under the impression that Conrad intended us to kill each other for the promotion.” I nod, this case is nearly closed. All my postures relax. Myfanwy wraps her pinky around Eliza’s, and it’s my turn to need a paper bag. I get Teddy up and walk out of the room, as Eliza gently pulls her hand away and looks down at it as I place both hands, folded, in her lap.

This large room is in the first basement level; Teddy walks down two more levels and finds a target to punch. Since EVAs are becoming humans with rights, I have to settle for something in the gym.

Meanwhile, Clifton is found guilty of the attempted assassination of a member of the Checquy Court, and sentenced to live as long as she likes in sub-basement four with a constant stream of Boris Johnson and Donald Trump speeches being piped into her quarters. I give her five days, tops. Hopefully the flood of idiotic disinformation will just burn her EVA right up.

As everyone gets up, many folks are coming over to offer Myfanwy their support and toady up now that it looks like she’ll be Queen. I think I’ll be able to slip away, but she keeps looking to see if I’m behind her.

_Dammit_. I literally said I would be standing behind her, back exactly as many steps as she dictates. But Teddy’s already gone and I have work to do. I exit first Eliza, then Robert, leaving only Alex behind. As the people file away, I put on his best happy-puppy face when she turns to me.

“Up top!” I say enthusiastically, holding out for a high-five even though she looks like she wants a hug. The deal is she has to use her words if she wants me closer. This is what I can give for now. She looks at my elbow and makes a resounding slap that almost hurts Alex’s hand.

“Thanks for the support,” she says, and I nod.

“Tolja I’d be here.”

“Want to celebrate?” she asks.

“Is the Rookery goin out? You know I don’t karaoke. People expect group songs an it’s just too much work when I’m sposta be relaxin.”

“Right. I don’t suppose you’d come, just to be there? Big day – I’m not in jail for excessive force, the woman who tried to kill me _is, _I will probably be promoted…”

“I gotta take care some stuff here. But I’ll see if at least parta me can drop by. Later. If you’re still out.” I’m literally kicking hardwood at this point, scuffing the squeak of Alex’s trainers against the polished floor.

“Ah, okay. Right. Well, see you later maybe.”

I sigh and take the stairs up. Probably send Robert, so he can at least flirt with some other employees and not act tied to Myf. But I’ll wait an hour – 90 minutes? – before even thinking about leaving. There’s never any end to paperwork if I look hard enough. Or maybe I’ll practice my handwriting so Ingrid doesn’t kill me for all future reports. Maybe there’s a stakeout I can go on. Maybe I have to wash my hair – all of it.


	9. Twenty-four weeks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gestalt and Myfanwy have relaxed into some sort of work routine, and are able to be friendly. 
> 
> She decides it's time to begin to try to make amends -- if Gestalt will let her.

“Dooooooooooooo y’remember…” starts Myf as she swings into my office, playing her new favorite game.

“Probably. Four times the retention power, yanno,” I say, my new favorite response to this query. She’s half-hanging in the door, blazer sleeve exposing the green watchband which matches her shoes. There’s a crepe-y green scarf, too.

“Yeah yeah yeah,” she half-mocks and brings herself in, leaning her hips against the table under the monitors, a little too close to Alex’s swivel-chair. I breathe in deeply and lean back, inching the chair away. The proximity is nice, but I’m a loyal citizen of the FriendZone until she specifically uses her words to try to make some repair.

LOYAL.  
CITIZEN.

Robert walks in through the other door and catches her eye as I pretend Alex sees something important on a feed.

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed you asking me if I remember things that happened _after _the bridge, Mz. Thomas.”

“No, honestly, this isn’t that, I swear.” Robert tilts his head and makes a ‘go on’ motion with his hand. “Ok. Do you remember the night we had Chinese food?” I have to give myself sarcastic looks to demonstrate to her that this is not specific enough. She notices what Robert & Alex are doing. “I mean…the Rook meeting when I told you about Josie?”

My faces fall. Of course I fucking remember that; _that_ night specifically is a memory with intense emotions tied to it for _me_, but only after the fact. If I had believed her… If I hadn’t bloody believed Farrier… If I had realized it was Farrier all along… Everyone goes back to Blank-Gestalt. Robert shifts his weight. “Yes, I believe I may recall that evening.” I look up and into her eyes. “Myfanwy, I haven’t had the chance to apologize…”

“Wait, what? No.” She makes a dismissive hand-gesture and scoffs a little with her face. “I was only mad for like two minutes after I got that memory back. I know why I remembered it, though.”

“Because your best friend betrayed you by not trusting your judgment and upstanding character and impeccable reasoning skills, and if they had just believed you, none of this would have happened?” Bloody hell that felt good to get off my chest.

“Self-involved much? No, I had already bought in. You wouldn’t have saved me from myself.” An enormous weight half-lifts off my chest. Only half, because I do kind of believe I could have intervened in _some_ way. “Thank you, anyway, for the apology. But no! The reason I remember that is because I was pissed off – not at you – that we didn’t have lives outside the Checquy. Like, _really_ pissed off.” She pushes off the table and walks toward Robert while pointing at Alex. “And I bet you didn’t notice…but _I saw_ the little look you gave yourselves…that look that said that you _can’t_ have a life outside the Checquy…like you’re too weird or something.”

I shrug two sets of shoulders. “May have been what I was thinking; may have been ovver fings.” It was totally what I was thinking.

“Right. Well the anger that I had about that is what made me start this whole thing.” She starts waving around the Rookery, indicating some of the changes that are in process: a new XVO branded logo on the wall, some files strewn around while we sort what can get relocated to law enforcement and what’s too sensitive. “The idea that society doesn’t know about us; we can’t ever be citizens.” She looks up and takes a breath, continuing softly. “I don't want that for us, Gestalt. I don't want that – for you.”

Robert gives another dismissive shrug. “It’s not like society much appeals to me, anyway. I’ve seen the worst of the worst – people who have an advantage and use it selfishly, or to hurt others – I don’t need to be in the mix, I’m just a guy with four platinum-blonde heads.”

She puts her hand on Robert’s shoulder and looks him in the eye. “Wouldn’t it be nice to go for a jog and not have to have Danielle take it off r/Quadsighting?”

A burst of laughter explodes from Alex. “Nice for you, maybe.”

She grins wolfishly and comes back with, “Nah, I screenshot all those – you know it.” She looks back to Robert, “But maybe longer shorts next time?” She’s referring to an eighties-style white-piping number I wore to see if she’d say anything. Thankfully, I can use Eliza to blush while she’s across town; it’s appropriate to the honeypot op she’s on.

Robert looks at her with clear eyes and an innocent expression. “I’m afraid I have no idea what you mean. It must have been a doppelganger.” She rolls her eyes; I’m not fooling her. “Regardless, so you’re saying that even though you didn’t have the memory, you still had the feeling?” She looks at me. Right at Robert. And nods. His breath hitches. Teddy finds himself very busy looking at something else down in the archives. Alex has a hangnail that absolutely must be taken care of at this exact moment.

I can’t do this again. I don’t think I can trust her. Even that tiny indicator of hope is painful. I nod with a very blank face.

“So I have something to show you. Up in the board room.”

This time Robert and Alex’s faces both flame, as do Eliza and Teddy’s. Completely unable to deflect. “I’m afraid I’m quite busy right now,” I manage to not stammer. I pick some invisible-not-there lint off of Robert’s jacket.

“Right, let me put it this way: I have a promotional video. I want your opinion. Annnnnd… I might legally need your permission.”

Two heads jerk up. “What?” Both bodies stand. “Myfanwy … What. Did you. Do?” She shrugs and gestures toward the door closest to the stairway. I let out a very long, forceful breath through my nose and Alex follows her out, bounding past her on the stairs which he can take two at a time. Robert turns on his heel, walks over to the table and slams some files into the “Keep” pile so hard that Rook Woodhouse looks up.

“D’ye mind?” she calls, and Robert fixes her with his iciest glare. “Christ, I thought with her being upstairs there’d at least not be any fights.” The iciness becomes withering and she just shrugs it off. “Juss sayin,” she just says. This Rook creates a much different dynamic.

\--

While Alex heads upstairs, and I start walking Teddy toward the lift so he can join them, Eliza’s phone rings. She’s on her way out of the hotel and I feel her face contort in my confusion. I answer immediately, though.

“Is everything okay, are you all right? You never call me; what’s wrong?”

“That’s m’question for you, dear! Do you still have any brains left, or have they all been shagged outta ya?”

“I’m sorry, what? Are you on your deathbed? Are you spouting feverish delusions? Or are you just calling me in a senile fugue?”

“If I’d wanted a smart mouth, Elle, I’d’a called Alexius. What are you on about? How’s the new drugs working? I hadn’t heard and it’s been a few weeks – I expected a thank-you by now.”

“Bedford. What. Are. You. Talking about? I don’t have any current prescriptions.”

“Not you! Yer lady!”

“Oh…I’m sorry. I didn’t tell you. I guess I didn’t want to admit it, but Myfanwy left me. Said she couldn’t figure out her new self with the old me hanging around. We haven’t been together for months. At least four? Maybe five?”

“Poppycock. Why y’tryinta pull one over on the closest thing to yer old man? Thomas has been callin me, we’ve been workin on a formula. A pinch o’this, a dash o’that. She told me she thinks it finally is right, so I was expectin at least a call.” The silence on my end is so enormous that he rattles on, trying to fill it. Whatever Myfanwy is saying to Robert and Alex goes right through my ears. Teddy presses the emergency stop on the lift, slams his back into the stainless steel, and drops to the ground. “To be honest, I was expectin flowers and chocolates and a handwritten card in Robert’s calligraphy. Maybe even a visit from the happy couple.”

“Bedford. Pops. … I … I don’t know anything about this.”

“Bloody hell. Why the fuck did she come to me, then? You think I would help her boff some _other _EVA? The bloody cheek! I’ll come down there an…”

The old man is so fired up and Eliza is standing in the middle of a London sidewalk at teatime, letting thousands of pedestrians wash past her like a stick stuck on a rock in a stream. A texting kid finally runs into her. We both mutter apologies and I just press the button to disconnect the call without saying goodbye as I stare off into the middle distance, but move Eliza toward the car.

\--

Myfanwy’s stopped talking a moment ago and is clearly looking for a reaction. I have no idea what she said. Mostly. Promotional video for governments which have heard her program details. Follow-up blahblah, okay. Teddy un-stops the lift, it takes a bit to get back online. “Right,” Alex says, “let’s see it, then.” Myfanwy blinks in confusion but taps a tablet and the smart-screen on the boardroom wall comes to life.

The new XVO logo appears on the screen – the downward slash of the X becoming the stroke of the V which connects up to the O, making a triangle and a blandly vague, non-threatening, meaningless combination of letters. Of course it stands for “eXtra Variant Organization” but no one knows that yet. And with the look of the new building, people will just assume it’s some design-tech-startup do-nothing corp.

Myfanwy’s voice begins on the recording as the logo disappears. “EVAs… Supes… the Powered …Inhumans…whatever name your region uses, we all know that the unexplainable is possible…and can be performed by a small percentage of the world’s population.” Images of ability-having people flash on the screen – some famous, most not – flying men wearing capes, women running into blurs, children levitating a car. “And we all know that everywhere, they are disavowed, which presents unique opportunities for harm.” There’s a short re-enactment of the acidic/telekinetic bank-robbing duo, as she says, “Powered people can commit crimes in imaginative ways, making those crimes difficult to solve and the criminals difficult to catch,” and the image is gradually covered by CGI cockroaches, while her voice continues, “and in the darkness, other criminals operate to capture and control these specially-abled people, creating a market which can upset stable economies as well as being technically slavery.” Alex’s eyebrow goes up – slavery comes second? Teddy enters the room, crossing his arms in front of him as he leans back against the wall judgmentally.

“England has been that type of criminal: a government agency was created to fight EVA crime became an organization which sought out ‘targets’, training them to be ‘assets’, which were then used – sometimes traded with other countries – as weapons against other EVAs and in some cases, in military and political operations.” There were fast images of teenagers at New Glengrove learning martial arts, being tested in labs, and demonstrating their abilities. The last images were of an eerily coordinated ops team of three people moving disconcertingly in sync.

I clear Teddy’s throat and switch his crossed arms. Alex spins in a boardroom chair, letting out a low whistle.

Myfanwy’s voice continues. “The department even went so far as to adopt children at a young age if their abilities seemed particularly useful, or if their parents were so overwhelmed that they were considering giving them up for adoption.” Shots of adorable baby-faced kids from both NewGlengrove and Old dance across the screen, the differing quality of the footage making it apparent how long this has been going on.

“By not admitting that powered people exist, we created environment which bred crime: people felt persecuted, rejected by society, and fearful for their lives and well-being. It drove them to desperate acts, or to rebel against the establishment. Those people who were valued for their abilities became tools of the state – still removed from society – unable to live a life of their choosing.” Under these words, grainy black and white footage of my childhood scroll in front of me. I’m shown as an infant, sleeping, rolling over, and sucking my thumbs in unison. Then it transitions to my toddler days when I’m beginning to ride a bicycle with Alex while Eliza plays with a doll and Robert colors in a book and Teddy stands at a toy kitchen. The cockroaches cover up the picture again.

I slam Teddy’s fist into the wall behind him. I stand Alex up so fast that his chair flips, and I help it. Then I kick it. “Of all the --" I’m so angry I don’t care what body does what. Myf waves the tablet and nods at the wall.

“Please,” she says, and gestures again. I throw Alex’s body into a different upright chair.

The screen brightens with a yellow glow and the insects scatter. “But by turning the light on the reality we all are privileged to be aware of, we can create a new environment.” The color image underneath the vanished bugs is of four towheaded kids – clearly not even related to each other, but obviously supposed to be me – standing by a woman in a purple XVO polo shirt. Each pair of children has their hands held by an adult person with regular-blonde hair: the woman’s is kind of honeyish, while the man’s is more dishwater. All six people listen to the soundless words the XVO employee is saying, and watch her gestures. The family walks over to some couches and all sit together, cuddling up and smiling. “An environment where parents feel supported, and children are cared for, taught to use their powers in fulfilling ways that make sense to them, on a schedule which suits the whole family.”

The image is ridiculous. My – parent? parents? – wanted nothing to do with me, Bedford explained that as many times as I asked. But the idea of the image brings tears to my eyes. Teddy is silently weeping while Alex has only one or two tears but the snot-sniffles in bucketfuls. Eliza, in the car, sobs heaving sobs, completely overloaded with Bedford’s news and this ridiculous visual input. Robert slams a file cabinet, ignores whatever loud facial gesture Ingrid may be making, and stomps my way up the stairs.

“With facilities for educating powered adults and children, and their families, with support services for all, EVAs will – gradually – feel accepted by a society which – eventually – is aware of them.” Teddy and Robert both scoff loudly at that. “Crime rates, especially powered crime, will decrease.” A clean and smiling woman wearing a Cleankill Pest Control kit appears onscreen, spraying the few scuttling roaches around. “And by busting powered-person trafficking rings internationally, cooperatively, economies will be more predictable and stable. And slavery will once again be a thing of the past.”

Myfanwy-on-the-video explains how people can find out more information which a bunch of contact info appears.

“Use somebody else,” I have Teddy say, forcefully.

“If that’s what you want,” Myfanwy replies quietly. “That’s why I checked first.” The three boys are spinning – emotionally for one, Alex in a chair – trying to use up their nervous energy. Teddy looks at Myf’s face, and it’s crestfallen. I don’t know what she was hoping to accomplish by showing me that… that… poppycock, to use pop’s word. But it … it didn’t…

“It’s a big fat lie, is all!” Teddy spits, spinning a chair with no one in it.

“You don’t think giving EVAs citizenship and supporting them in conjunction with their parents will make society better?”

“In conjunction with their parents? What about the freaks, Myfanwy? What about the boy with four heads? Or the woman with gills? Or the bank robber who can’t help but secrete acid? The ones the parents can't wait to get rid of!” Robert is on a tear, but more quietly than Teddy would be.

“There are some EVAs which will require more aid than others, yes, but what about non-EVA babies born without legs? That man who is basically just a torso and head is an inspirational speaker and very rich! And married! Doesn’t _everyone _deserve a chance?”

“Fine, they deserve a chance,” Alex can spit this admission out.

“So where’s the lie?”

“You used to know where the lie was. You wouldn’t have done this –“ Robert catches himself before he can say ‘before’. Three heads look away while Eliza pounds her head against the steering wheel. Yeah, I fucking stepped in it.

But instead of looking angry, Myfanwy’s face becomes kind. She takes Teddy’s hand because it’s closest. “You think I don’t know what the files say about your parents?” she says, bringing my hand to her heart. “You think I could spend weeks on the phone with Bedford without him telling me?” One by one, my faces go slack. And it’s in disbelief, not the trademarked blankness.

“You… you _knew_ and you did this?” She nods, breaking eye contact with Teddy to look at Robert.

“I wanted to give you this. Even just once. I wanted you to see it.” She holds out her other hand, and mesmerized, I bring Robert close enough to hold it. “I wanted you to see a possibility of a world with you in it. As you.” She takes a deep breath in as Alex walks close to the group. If she’s wrong, if I’m mad, she’s at risk.

I don’t know if she’s wrong.

I’m not sure what this is.

“Gestalt, you’re not a freak.” She lets a breath out slowly as six pairs of eyes are staring incredibly intently at her. “People have bad parents. All kinds of people. It doesn’t have anything to do with who they are.”

I open my mouth and she shakes her head to keep me from speaking. I close it and reconsider my words. 

“You didn’t.” She shakes her head.

“I was lucky. And yes, I remember some things about them. Bronwyn is filling in some other things, but I believe her.” She rotates her head, meeting each pair of eyes. “If your parents couldn’t cope, we don’t know why.” She squeezes two hands, almost like in the video. “But we do know the Checquy did not want to help them – they wanted to study you and to use you.”

“I like who I am.” She smiles and takes a step forward.

“I like who you are, too,” she says, “I like that you’re intense, and smart, and capable, and patient, and goofy, and sweet, and understanding. I like that you would take out an entire compound to rescue me, and I like that you let me save myself.” She squeezes both hands, and it’s like we’re the family in the video. “If you are ready, and willing, to let me try to make amends with you, and to see where that takes us –“ she drops Teddy’s hand and puts hers in the air like a constable “no assumptions – then I need you to consider a world – this world – with you and me in it.”

“You did this…_for _me?” Alex is the only one with a voice right now.

“I wanted you to see it. So it would be easier to imagine.”

“A world where I was wanted.”

“A world where you _are _wanted.”

Robert’s breath is so shallow and quick that I’m afraid he’s going to start hyperventilating. With barely a thought, I move him forward, tilt her chin up, move his mouth to hers, and breathe through her lungs.

It works.


	10. Thirty-four weeks out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The video Myf made was part of her amends; the kiss was in gratitude for her effort. They talked, apologies were made, memories shared, explanations and DTRs had. It's been ten weeks -- a whole 5 days longer than their first attempt at a relationship. This deserves a celebration.  
\--  
“So I didn’t realize the ‘decaseptemversary’ was significant – I have to admit I did not get you a present,” I have Robert say as he drives. Teddy and Alex are still focused on touching Myf lightly in places that won’t get my hands slapped, and Eliza is keeping an eye on the GPS. Life is so much easier as me sometimes.  
But Eliza’s hand also touches the small box in her pocket – the one Robert carried all through Venice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello -- since it's been a longer wait, you get a longer chapter!  
Again, the time period in the chapter name is from the first installment, "Proximity:Teddy", which is about a month after Founder's Day and 3 weeks after Danilov's. (It was never supposed to get this complicated)

While waiting for a seven-minute sliver of the still-untitled Mz. Thomas’ time, Eliza takes in the new additions to her office. She hasn’t specifically asked me to change her pronouns to “they”, but Myf is really bringing the genderqueer energy and I am not complaining.

I’m also trying to take in any personal details about the new EA, Corey, for future bribery:  
\- few personal decorations ; no photos  
\- favors floral-print clothing with masculine lines  
\- navy/rust color scheme  
\- black and silver office tools ; both matte

Maybe I should get an EA – make it harder for Myf to just walk through and randomly ambush me with emotion-causing content in the middle of the day. But then that one person would have to keep track of all four of me and I would have to go whatever place and do whatever thing they scheduled. Gross.

But then our assistants could just work things out with each other and I would not have to try to worm my way into Corey’s good graces. This bears more thought.

Eventually, they look up and nod me in – I guess the previous appointment must have been virtual, because no one leaves the office. Eliza knocks before entering, but speaks before really seeing what’s going on in the room.

“What are we calling you these days, Myf? Are we still on Qurook or have we moved on to Quishop? I really thought Conrad would have filled Clifton’s po—“

I’ve been scanning the office, looking for her with Eliza’s eyes, but Alex catches her on the vidfeed, hiding behind the door. I pretend to be surprised, although the sound of the hinge also gave it away, and I let her “get the drop” on Eliza. It’s only mildly painful as the taller woman twists my arm around my back and flips me to the floor – the new carpet is both plush and springy.

“Well done, you,” I say, bouncing Eliza up easily although Myf has her hand out to help. “Training going well, I see. But if that’s all –“ She makes a little circular motion with her hand, signaling to Alex that he should loop this vid as she cuts me off again, this time with a kiss. I let Eliza and Teddy enjoy it while Alex scans back for some boring bit of footage – no one will believe Thomas flipped me multiple times in one meeting, she never thinks of these things, just orders them done. I sigh at the end of the kiss; she really is on her way to being Queen even though it’s nearly two months after her “trial period” ran out and no announcement’s been made.

She wraps her pinky around Eliza’s and pulls back. “What to call me is one – two – of the three things I have to talk with you about.” I raise an eyebrow. “But the sneak-attack was just bonus.” She shakes her head, smiling. “You really have to stop allowing me to do it – I want to actually succeed at this!”

“Well, then, you should stop doing it while one of me is in the Box and watching the feeds. How is it that just seconds later, you can assume I’ll be watching and catch your little hand-gesture order to corrupt the video… but not assume that I’d be watching my own back?” With my other hand, I straighten out her green pocket square and attempt to adjust her matching tie.

Her laughter is resigned. “I did think you – Eliza – would take the hint about the video and loop it later, but you’re right. Do you watch me, like, _all_ the time?” I feign an innocent shrug, raising both eyebrows.

“Four of our seven minutes are up, Your Busy-ness – shouldn’t you be getting down to brass tacks?” She rakes her eyes obscenely over Eliza’s body, indicating tacks are not exactly what she’d rather being getting down to. I feel dirty enough to consider calling HR, but of course, it’s different since we’re back together.

Teddy excuses himself to the loo. Maybe in the new building, I’ll request a “Gestalt only” lockable W.C. off the side of the surveillance room – or maybe a whole extra suite for letting a body sleep. While imagining the gender icon for that, I get a picture in my head of Sleipnir – but the last pair of legs is wearing a skirt – and I let Eliza and Alex giggle.

“Right, well then, items 1 and 2 on the agenda are taken care of: what to call me. Item 3 is to schedule a dinner tonight. Corey cleared your schedule and put some pawns on the Op you had yourself on. Really, Gestalt, you do need to delegate if you’re going to try to spend _any_ time with me at all.” She gives me another eyeball once-over. “Since it’s our tenth septemversary, we are going out. All five of us. Evening wear. 9 o’clock.”

“It’s January.”

“Yes, and?”

“Not September. We weren’t really speaking in September.”

“Gestalt you speak more than a dozen languages and you’re going to make me explain that I’m using the Latin for week because saying ’10-week anniversary’ is ridiculous and incorrect?”

“Latin’s not one of my dozen, and ‘septem’ doesn’t sound like the word for week in any Romance language…except maybe Romanian because I never bothered with that one. Regardless, thank you for clarifying. That’s three, will there be anything else, Mz. Thomas?” I look at her inquisitively, and when she dismisses me with an eye-flick to the door, I turn to leave. She follows stealthily behind me, which I can hear as Eliza and see on the monitors. “Eyes in the back of my head, Myf.” As I reach the door I also intentionally squeak the hinge, “and even if I didn’t, I would have heard your attack earlier. Oil this door.”

“Dammit. I’ll put in a work-order, thanks.” I smile and turn as I leave, silently gesturing toward it to see if she wants it open or closed. “Open in fine.” She looks over at one of her newsfeeds on the wall and back quickly, seeming to remember something suddenly. “Gestalt – if you don’t mind – after dinner, I’d prefer if Eliza –“ she takes a step closer, “just Eliza – drove me home?”

A slow smile spreads over this body’s face.

“So noted, Quishop Thomas.”

“Ugh. Stop. Leave. I have other things to do!” She walks back to her desk and Corey ushers the next meeting in, with a slightly haughty look for being a scant minute or two over my time. Snoot at your boss, person, it was her meeting. Which makes me glance at my watch: it’s not even tea, but I send Teddy out to join Robert and see if we can wrap up this Op before having to turn it over to a – shudder – Pawn for the evening.

\--

It would be ridiculous to shove four adult bodies into the lift at Myfanwy’s building – and even worse to bring five back down – but that doesn’t mean I don’t consider it. I mean, Teddy and Robert could run down the stairs, but what’s the point? She rarely expresses a preference, so since she has singled out Eliza, I send Alex up to fetch her.

Even the new porter knows each of me by now: the siblings who work with Thomas. Alex is in his dress polo, paired with tux pants that have a wide black piping down each leg to simulate tracksuit bottoms – one wouldn’t want to break brand. Since it’s winter, I even put him in a blazer, although the body runs hot so I will probably lose it later.

The girl has learned! The door is locked for once, so I ring the bell and step back from the cam; Alex can get away with it so why not?

Ever cautious, Myf asks who it is over the speaker, and I pipe up, “Car service for Thomas?” and although she clearly recognizes my voice by the laugh in hers, she asks me to step to the camera. “Land shark?” I ask, bringing out an old but somewhat-usable prank. The door opens.

“You prat,” she says, stepping out in a kelly-green satin haltered romper with matching drop earrings. A long black sheer wrap nudges the look even dressier, and her hair is down but curled, parted to expose the undercut. As I rub Alex’s fingertips over the buzz, she looks him up and down, pulls the corners of her mouth slightly southward and shrugs. “Close enough for government work, as an American told me a while back.” I hoot, slightly scorched, and point at my hips.

“Real pants!” Her eyes roll but she laughs and takes my arm. “You’re lucky s’me – if it was Teddy, he’d likely bite anyone caught lookin at you in that getup. Does the V go all the way to your navel?” I look down, appreciatively.

“Eyes up!,” she pokes me in the ribs. “You’ll get your looks in later.” As the lift arrives, it’s empty and we slide in. I lean down and gently put my teeth on her exposed neck and bite just a little. “Mmm,” she purrs, “if this is the alternative to Teddy biting others, I guess I _am_ lucky.” She leans in to Alex’s body and as the car slows I pull us back apart, straightening things that need straightening.

Robert’s behind the wheel with Eliza in the passenger, and Teddy in the back. I pass Myf into the car and close the door behind me, four hands immediately surrounding her small waist.

“Down, boy, it’s not like we’re going all the way to NewGlengrove,” but Teddy and Alex are already covering her neck with kisses from both sides. She sits up and texts the address of the restaurant to my phones. Pavlovian, all my hands touch the devices as they buzz and heave sighs as we reluctantly pull into traffic, mood broken.

“So I didn’t realize the ‘decaseptemversary’ was significant – I have to admit I did not get you a present,” I have Robert say as he drives. Teddy and Alex are still focused on touching Myf lightly in places that won’t get my hands slapped, and Eliza is keeping an eye on the GPS. Life is so much easier as me sometimes.

But Eliza’s hand also touches the small box in her pocket – the one Robert carried all through Venice. I’m still deciding if this is a good idea; it’s just a pinky ring but there’s a lot of baggage attached. Not to mention, the ring Alex bought will probably fit Myf, too. And then what? Is two too many? Or should I have four? Is it weird?

I’ll see how dinner goes.

While I’m mulling this in Eliza’s brain and Robert is still driving, Alex and Teddy listen to her explain how we only ever got to nine weeks before, so she thought passing that landmark required an observance. Teddy snorts appreciatively while Alex grins. “Seems right, seems right,” comes out of Alex’s mouth. “Shoulda fought ovvat,” follows from Teddy’s.

Myf smiles and shrugs. “Unfortunately,” four hearts sink and pause in their beating, “I have things to talk about at dinner which are business-related.” Four breaths get released collectively and she looks puzzled.

“Oi, Myf, rite after sayin we juss past the time y’broke up wit me lass time – don say the word ‘unfortunately,’ right?” I take her face in Teddy’s strong hand and make serious eye contact.

“Ah, yes, you’re absolutely right. That was not thought out well.” Teddy gets a soft kiss on the lips as recompense. “Forgive me?” she looks at me plaintively, only exaggerating the eyelash-bat a little. I nod Teddy’s head and take another kiss for good measure. As we pull up, she looks around. “Well, Alex, as you are the one blocking me in, I suggest it be you who escorts me to the table – although you may get a few snooty eyebrows raised.” I snort, it won’t be the first time, and people who judge me based on Alex learn their lesson by the time I’m done spending.

“What about a world with you and me in it?” I ask, only slightly baiting. She shrugs and looks at me openly.

“If you’d all like to walk me in, I’d love it. But that video is still in the private-government stages and hasn’t been edited for general public release. As long as r/Quadsighting still exists, it’s up to you how often you want to be seen together. If you prefer, the maître d’ will send someone to the employee door from the parking garage.”

It was really kind of her to make the arrangements. A sigh is the only answer she needs, and Alex’s smile is a little sadder than normal as he exits the car and holds out his arm for her as she follows. A couple air-kisses between her and the staff, and we’re led to a small private dining room. There’s an enormous display window looking into the kitchen, but she assures me it’s one-way glass so we won’t distract the chefs. As the rest of me parks and joins them, Teddy sits closest to the show. Another perk of Gestalt: I’ll be able to watch and she’ll know my attention is still on her.

“Tasting menu?” I ask from Eliza, with a small smile playing around her lips.

“Four different ones, if you can believe it.” My eyes bug out of Teddy’s head. “Seriously, though, Gestalt, I know there must be some variance in taste buds – even identical twins like different things.”

“And you like options,” I say with Robert and a saucy smile.

“You know I will definitely be sampling.”

“Aha! We see the true reason for having all of me come tonight.”

“Indeed, you’ve found me out! If I’m going to pay a king’s ransom to feed you, I might as well get to try some of everything.”

Again, my eyes bulge, but this time from all of mes. When we all eat together, it’s usually takeout and I pay at least my share if not hers as well, since it’s simpler than bistro math. I try to talk her out of it but she is having none of it. I’m sure I have at least one employee in Teddy’s phone contacts, so I start stealth-texting while making her think she’s won the argument. Arrangements will be made.

“Speakin of king’s ransom, y’said in the meetin that we’d talk about what t’call you. Somethin been decided, then?” The waiter has been around to uncork both a red and a white and Myfanwy approved them both.

“That’s a little complicated, and I’m not sure what I can or should say.” Each of me raises an eyebrow – an effect which I hope is both disconcerting and persuasive.

“Who’m I gunna tell, eh?” comes a slightly-more-sinister-than-intended question from Teddy’s mouth.

“Shit, sorry, Myf,” I apologize as Robert and take her fingertips lightly. “I want you to know you can trust me, but don’t do anything to endanger your position.”

She looks between the two faces, conscious they’re both me, but considering again that it’s easier for me to give voice to conflicting feelings. “What I can say is that even though the Checquy is steeped in tradition, XVO is going to have to really break with some of those things to demonstrate to everyone – the government, the employees, and citizens – that we’re ready to do things differently. I’m afraid it might not go over well, and I want you to be prepared because people will look to you during the transition.”

“You know I’m behind you,” I say as Eliza, “Always,” from Alex. “Exactly as many steps as you dictate,” continues Robert with Myfanwy echoing a second behind him.

“That’s the thing, Gestalt. We’re back together, personally, and it’s time for us to be back together professionally, too. Not behind me – beside me.” I know all of me look nonplussed as the staff returns with our appetizers, each a different delicacy that Myf basically treats like a buffet as my confusion turns to outright baffled amazement. She only has a small bit of each but I have no idea where this bird is going to tuck all of that.

“But Myf, if you’re Queen then Conrad’s your partner. And you can’t be Rook because Ingrid is really good at it even though she hates my handwriting.”

“Oh,” Myf laughs between bites, “Ingrid has been able to read your script for years. She just loves taking the piss. Plus, she says you make more of an effort after she moans a little.” Alex laughs at this while my other faces get grumpier and/or shocked. “Anyway, like I said, the traditions are going to get shook up. I’ll let Grantchester tell you more about it when he’s ready, but I hope you’ll hear it with an open mind.” That puts me on my guard. “Change is hard for everyone, but for now, I think you should know that my title isn’t important yet, and this change will be good in the long run.”

Teddy gets up and paces by the window, clouds darkening his face, but looking at the chefs to help me calm down. As he searches their faces for anyone familiar, the rest of me tries to assimilate this new non-information. They better not make me a cop.

“So I can still call you Quishop?”

She pulls a face. “Ugh. No. Just the sound of it makes me feel ill.”

Alex grins. “I know. S’why I like it.” Teddy sits back down and polishes off the rest of his dish as it’s being cleared away. I send another, more confident text, under the table.

“Something on your mind, Tedford?” she asks, and my reaction is as visceral as hers is to ‘Quishop’. “You know I’m fine if you text while we’re talking – you don’t have to hide it.”

“Wot’s that? Nah, juss followin up on work stuff, dint wanter be rude.”

“Didn’t you Pawn that off?”

“Womp womp,” says Robert, “No, we finished before we left.” Teddy looks up as the salad course arrives and Myf decides they’re all similar enough that she doesn’t need to sample each. “Wot’s wif Tedford? I know you been talkin at Bedford, an he’s the only one nicknames us. By the way, he does it to rile me up – he knows I don like it.”

“I think he does it out of fondness, even if it does seem a little mean the way he does it.” I sniff with Teddy, dismissively. She can think what she likes, the old man treats Teddy hard. “And I doooooo want to talk about him, but not for a minute.”

We chew silently for a moment, truly impressed that a few fresh, cold vegetables could taste this delicious in January.

“So this is a business meeting, then? It sounds like there’s an agenda.” Eliza eyes Myfanwy at the head of the table. With Robert’s hand, I caress her satiny knee. “I thought this was a celebration.” Her foot reaches out and touches Robert’s.

“It is both, I told you in the car. Remember? Nearly caused a heart attack?” Ah, yes, that does ring a bell.

“Sorry, been a bit … distracted,” I say haltingly, distracted by how far she’s letting Robert’s hand creep before she snaps her thighs shut.

“The next thing is a little more personal, but remember when you first came to see me, as Teddy, after Danilov’s?” I nod with four heads. “You said whoever I turn out to be …NewMyf or Alice or something I hadn’t thought of, you wanted to get to know me?” That wasn’t all of that statement, but I’ll let it slide for now. Nods and noises of assent answer her. “I feel pretty strongly that I’ve figured it out. In fact, I figured it out before I made that video and showed it to you, but I’ve been sitting with it for a while.”

Again, I’m operating on too little information and too many antecedents. “Figured out…” Eliza makes a continue-gesture with her fork before placing it down on the empty plate.

“Two things: it bugs me that my parents named both sisters Welsh names but only mispronounced one of them; and the name Myfanwy means ‘my beloved woman’ which truly doesn’t fit _this _me.” It’s sinking in.

“You’re going to change your name?” Robert asks and she nods. “Don keep us waitin, then, out wif it!” I continue with Alex. She gets a little shy and nervous, looking away and then down.

“It’s not that far off… I hope you will like it. It’s so weird to re-introduce yourself to your partner.” Alex and Robert take each one of her hands as the staff clears away plates and brings the entrees. She mumbles something into her plate and I squeeze her hands while Teddy clears his throat only slightly menacingly. “It’s… Anwyn.”

The ’a’ is soft, like a surprise, and the rest is just like a victory. “It’s beautiful,” I say as Eliza, “Blessed?” Welsh _is _one of my dozen languages.

She looks up and into Eliza’s eyes, then nods. Continuing, she looks at each of me. “I know it’s a religious thing, but aside from that, I feel very lucky…for every aspect…of my second chance.” She gets up to kiss each one of me, briefly, and almost ruins the moment by taking the opportunity to sneak tastes of my dishes onto a bread plate. Bloody hell if the mood didn’t need lightning, though, so we laugh together.

“Third chance, in some aspects,” I let myself say as Robert. True, it’s been a while, but there’s still some sting to the way things happened in Venice. I can tell that she’s trying, and the good already outweighs the bad, but it’s still hard to trust this.

She looks up when she hears that, and reflects the pain in my eyes. She’s apologized before, quite thoughtfully and skillfully, so it’s not entirely fair of me to dig. As her mouth opens, I lean over and kiss it. As I pull back, a sous chef comes out of the kitchen to greet Teddy boisterously. It’s nice to be able to be open and friendly as Teddy, and I do genuinely like Javier – I chat briefly and everyone enthuses about the meal. He sees Myf-- Anwyn’s bread plate and comes over to her seat.

Laughing, he teases her about being so tiny yet having to try each bite. She raves and gives him her personal reviews of each dish, complimenting specific tastes and preparations. “A foodie, too, eh? You should be with my pal over there – not his tousled twin!” He claps Alex on the shoulder and laughs heartily. “But Teddy tells me it is an anniversary, and you loved the meal so much – it’s my gift to the happy couple. Thank you for coming, and thank you for enjoying it so thoroughly.” He kisses Anwyn’s hand and she blushes, but kicks Alex – hard! – in the ankle.

“It’s too much, I couldn’t possibly…” Javier shushes her and leaves, not hearing another word about it. “You –“ she points at each body in turn, “—are a cheat. It’s not fair, I meant to treat you.”

Although it’s Teddy’s contact, I let Robert make amends for my unkind comment, saying, “It’s not fair that you pay for five bodies when you are on a date with one person. Let this be my gift – by way of Javier – since I didn’t get you anything for the special day.”

She crooks an eyebrow, saying, “The day’s not over yet,” while looking straight at Eliza. There may have been more than one blush at the table at that.

The dessert arrives, and one plate has tiny dollops of different sweets dotted all around the edge, so the server sets it down carefully in front of my date. She laughs delightedly and claps. It’s good to know people.

As we all revel in deliciousness, Anwyn details her behind-my-back dealings with Bedford. She is very irked to discover he blew her surprise, and she quickly points out that she wasn’t trying it out on anyone – she just wanted to see if she could achieve orgasm and still use her powers while on the different meds.

“As far as repair goes,” I let Alex say, “that’s a pretty big deal.” He tries to take her hand, but she waves it away with a fork in it. We’ve had sex in the past month – I wanted to wait a little longer than before, still wary of the permanence – but always with at least two bodies present. “I have to say,” Robert continues, “I haven’t really felt any of the dizziness or disorientation. I assumed you were using the meds, but I didn’t want to let on that I knew until you were ready to talk about it.”

“If you’re ready,” she says, standing, “I’d like to give it the ultimate test tonight.” She takes Alex’s arm as we file out the back door, payment pre-arranged, I’m supposing.

At the car, she kisses each male body deeply, leaving me panting and uncomfortable. Alex closes the rideshare app – no way I’m getting into an Uber with three pants tents. Two would be understandable – three leads to questions. Guess I will walk to a tube station.

Anwyn gets into the passenger seat with Eliza behind the wheel as I head back to her apartment. I’m literally quite amazed that she went to all this trouble after the severity of her trigger in Venice.

“Hey – I want to apologize in advance if I call you Myfanwy tonight… it will be out of habit rather than disrespect.” Eliza’s hand is taken off the steering wheel and kissed gently.

“Thank you for even thinking it, but I can still be Myf for a bit. I haven’t even submitted the paperwork yet, but I wanted you to be the first to know. Hell, it will be difficult for me to think of as me for a while, I suppose.” Eliza smiles as every few words was punctuated with another kiss to the hand. As a finger is taken between her teeth, I draw my hand back.

“Driving, Mizz Thomas.” She smiles as opposed to laughing because the joking reference isn’t that good or even relevant. And Eliza’s Deep South accent is pretty bad. 

“What are the boys doing?” She leans back in her seat as I breathe out deeply.

“I’m walking to the tube…needed a little fresh air.” As I’m saying that, a sign catches my eye en route to the station. ‘Just arrived: tourmaline from Pala district’. Eliza looks at Myfanwy, eyeing her appreciatively, and comparing it mentally to what I know of chrome tourmaline. Maybe a tenth septemversary present isn’t too far away. Robert snaps a photo of the jeweler’s phone number and name.

Once on the tube, I can zone out and trust muscle memory to get me home. Focus on what’s really important.

After pulling into the car park, Myf can sense the hesitation in me before I get out. She turns to her right and places her hand on my shoulder. “If you tell me to stop, I will stop. I will put on clothes and I will fetch another of you or I will take you home.”

Eliza smiles nervously. “You haven’t actually been to stay at my place before – it might be fun. A nice decaseptem…” She smiles and gets out of the car.

“Maybe another time.” I take a deep breath and get out, she takes my wrist and tugs me toward her. “Tonight, you’re mine. And I plan to finish what was interrupted in Belgium.” That wicked grin undoes me every time and she knows it. “Until you say stop.”

While we wait for the lift, she rubs her thumb over the pulse point in my wrist. I keep my breath steady but I can feel myself getting wet. As the doors open, there’s only one other rider. A matronly woman steps backward to allow room for us and Myf smiles at her while touching the button for her floor a few below the one already lit. With our pinkies linked, it could be innocent, but as Myf’s thumb keeps stroking my palm, the older woman makes huffy noises behind us. I relax when she drops my hand; there’s only one person I want a tongue-lashing from tonight and it’s not this biddy. The relief is short-lived as Myf’s hand blatantly cups Eliza’s arse, and I unwittingly lean into it even though I tense as the observer sounds egregiously shocked. Screw it, this woman needs to get over herself. I turn to Myf and slide my thumb through the side of her halter, trailing down to her breast, leaning in for a deep soul-kiss as she is now clutching my backside. The biddy is far too British to say anything out loud to our faces, and when the doors open to Myf’s floor, there is an appreciative low whistle. She leads me out as the whistler gets in, and we hear a grumpy, “Disgraceful!” as the doors close.

I am too turned on to care that we’ve possibly made it difficult for Myf – she did leave with a man, after all – and I pull her down the hallway at top speed. While I’m keying in her code (at least the door’s locked, but still), she wonders out loud if the whistler actually intended to get on a lift going up. Once we’re through the door, however, I silence her with a kiss that’s been building since the first mention of Bedford tonight.

Even with only one of me, my hands are everywhere: her tits, her arse, her hair. My knee is between her legs as she’s up against the wall near her door. Aside from grinding down against me, and the kiss I won’t break, her only point of contact with me is my breasts and I do not mind at all. I press into her eager hands, fingers cupping me, trying to get through the heavy fabric of my brassiere.

Frustrated, I step back and she pants after me, drifting involuntarily in my direction. My long skirt is actually divided like trousers, which are easily stepped out of after I unzip them on the way to bedroom. Leaving them where they lie, I don’t look to see that she’s coming after me, but hope the sight of my thong and my hands undoing the clasp at the back of my neck are enough to beckon her.

By the time she catches up with me, the shirt and bra are gone, heels kicked off, and I’ve crawled into bed to turn and wait for her.

“Wait,” she says, while I’m bent with one knee on the bed. I feel her hands at my hips, and she bends me over further. “All apologies to Robert,” she says as she leans over and literally kisses my arse cheek, swabbing her tongue before biting it gently. “I know he works hard on his,” she moves to the other cheek and I am blushing, panting, and dripping. “But there is just something about a woman’s shape…” she lifts both cheeks in her hands and kisses each one again. “Fucking perfect.”

Her thumbs follow the fabric of my thong as it digs into my cleft. I bring my other knee onto the bed and lean down to clutch a pillow. Her nose follows her fingers and she inhales deeply as she traces the path. She doesn’t even bother moving the fabric aside as she stretches her tongue as far as she can, trying to reach my clit and I angle back to help. She gets very close and licks backwards, moaning her enjoyment of my taste, sounds that I echo across several bodies. Alex gets very, very aroused when Eliza has sex – with any gender partner.

Teddy and Robert reflexively whack Alex’s chest from either side, both left and right. They’re all still on the tube and have a way to go. I start a mantra in Alex’s mind, focusing on a (silent) sound. I try to reinforce the mental wall, and it’s difficult – but not impossible.

Myfanwy is digging in, and as strong as Eliza’s thighs are, it’s difficult to focus on the mental aspects and keep the physicality from taking over, so I move forward on the bed. Like in the hallway, she whimpers after me, floating along with my movement, so I lie down and turn over, pulling her on to me. “Give me a second,” I pant softly, “systems check.”

Her nod accompanies her own shaky breaths and I stroke her hair, turning on to my side like she and Robert did. I slide a knee between her legs and she does the same to me. We kiss deeply, me setting the pace for our breathing and slowing it down to something more reasonable. Her hands return to my breasts, as though she suddenly remembered what she had wanted before, and they gently explore my curves. Tracing the crease, caressing the skin, thumbs gliding over nipples.

When I go to return the gesture, my brain registers that she is still clothed. My knee should have known first, but Eliza’s caught up in the moment and I’m trying to keep Alex from adding to the dinginess of the train. I snort and tug at Myfanwy’s halter. She reaches behind her for a second, feels for something, then puts my hand on one end. I pull and the knot releases, simply and easily.

“I kept waiting for you to recognize the lash. I half expected to be undone before we got to the restaurant.” I smile and Alex laughs.

“Sorry to disappoint – I was too distracted by the front to notice the back.” I run a hand over Teddy’s face, because his was closest to the knot while in the car. Eight eyes and I can’t even see that? Maybe the drugs _aren’t _working.

My hands have been working the material down to her waist and off her hips. She kicks off her shoes without untying them; Robert winces. Our bodies are a tangle of sheets and romper as we begin to kiss again. Facing each other in the center of the bed, we wobble back and forth, vying for who will be on top. She may have been training a lot this past year, but I have been constantly practicing for years. The struggle doesn’t last long, and once I’m up, I pull off both our knickers and sandwich our thighs between each other.

I lean back down for a kiss, and her hand slides into my hair as I start pressing against her in rhythm, squeezing her leg between mine in time. She moves her head back and forth quickly, grabs the base of my skull and pulls me higher. I grab the headboard to keep balance and she lifts her head to lick my nipple and suck it into her mouth. Her tongue swirls around as she sucks more of my breast into her mouth, and she lets go to repeat it on the other side.

A moan forces its way out and as the boys are trudging up the stairs, Robert clamps his hand over Alex’s mouth. It must seem the world’s most homogenous abduction.

With her hands on my ribcage, Myfanwy pulls me downwards, burying her face in my tits. “Christ, Gestalt, your knockers are top-notch.” We both laugh, her voice reverberating against my chest as her fingers tweak my nipples, making me arch into her harder.

She’s definitely made her appreciation known before, but this is the first time any of me has been alone in a bed with her since Teddy. Fearing for her breath, and Alex’s tolerance, I lean backward and pull her up with me, our knees bent. We breathe and look into each other’s eyes. A smile breaks out across her face.

“How are things?”

I smile back. “Things are good.” She questions again with her eyebrow. I nod and pull her closer, kissing her calmly. I unfold one leg and shift my weight, pulling her down against me. We touch everywhere as we sort out legs and positions – I know Eliza’s not her first female lover – and I lean back, pulling her with me. She puts her hands behind me to` hold her up and I cling to her shoulder as we kiss and she starts moving against me, setting the pace.

Briefly, I feel guilty for not going down on her in return, but she’s already quite wet and I soon forget most things as we grind together. As I put one arm behind me, the boys stumble home and scatter. Alex sheds his blazer and polo almost the instant he’s in the door, hands caressing his own nipples and announcing his arrival once he gets to the bathroom. Teddy and Robert go about their business as usual.

My weight supported, I push her back and look into her eyes. She leans back to support herself and I grab her wrist as we keep moving against each other. I shift just a little and suddenly it is just right. We speed up, I’m so very close. I look at her and she’s shaking her head. I let go of her wrist, lick my thumb and reach toward her. With gentle pressure just above her clit, I rub slowly downward. She leans back onto her elbows and grinds harder against me, “Oh damn, Gestalt, god Damn!,” she’s repeating as I rub and grind. Her head throws back and she pants non-verbally, hitting the bed with her hand. I switch my hand from her clit to mine and just seconds after, she thrusts into me hard, jerking out of sync and the increase in warmth and wet makes my breath hitch. She’s slowing and I’m rubbing when her hand joins mine and her leg presses against me. With her help, I’m coming and my own orgasm is quieter but _very_ intense for me. Her fingers slide everywhere, and my throbbing clit is too tender, but she doesn’t realize I’ve finished.

I take her hand in mine and use it to push myself up off the foot of the bed. I bring our hands to my mouth and kiss our entwined fingers, licking our combined taste off them. She leans up and does the same, then we’re kissing and in each other’s arms.

My head spins, a little more than usual, but each of me still feels separate. Alex may have been a little more affected than usual, but I can still tell my selves apart. As we lay there, hip to hip, kissing tiny kisses where we can reach, Teddy and Robert finish off and two small spasms twitch through my body.

She kisses my ear. “All done?” I nod slowly. “All good?”

“Much better,” I say. I pull her thigh between mine and trace the line of her body. I sigh deeply. “Sutton says the biggest effect – since its transdermal – would be when I’m inside of you.” I take a deep breath in. “So I feel like results may be inconclusive?” She grins and pulls me closer.

“Is this you angling for round two with a different body?” I laugh and try to look innocent.

“Mayyybeeeee…” my eyes find the clock – nearly 01:00. “Ugh, but maybe not at this time of night.” Wired, as usual, Myf puts her hands behind her head and tries to hide the fact that she’s thinking about how long she should stay in bed to be polite. I take her hand nearest mine. “I didn’t even see the lights flicker, are you sure your powers are intact?”

She energetically shifts to her side to face me, grinning. “Really? You’re asking?” I look at her, confused. “You didn’t feel it?” I shrug again. “At the end there, when I reached over to you…” My eyes go wide. “Well I’m glad I didn’t hurt you!”

“You zapped me? On purpose?” I sit straight up, astounded. First that she would try it and second that I didn’t feel it. She grins and shrugs.

“I can’t keep it going long … wouldn’t _that _be useful?” I jab her in the ribs; with four bodies at her disposal, does she really need to be a human vibrator, too? She chuckles. “But here.” She holds out her finger E.T. style and I wrap my hand around it. A quick buzzing jolt hits me in a not-unpleasant fashion. I move it between my thighs, and there it is again – light and fast, barely noticeable, but effective. My chest heaves as I breathe deep and fast, suddenly wide awake. “Ooooh, it worked,” she observes evilly. I take a deep breath and nod slowly.

She questions me with her eyes, and when I smile with approval, she twists her body down. I spread Eliza’s legs and take Myf’s by the knees. As I gently kiss her pussy lips and she mine, we take our time getting off again, and crawl into each other’s arms after.

\--

In the morning, I wake in various places. Robert and Alex slugabed, while Eliza and Teddy put the kettles on. Myfanwy is completely passed out until Eliza’s almost done with her shower. Now that I’m back with Myf, a fifth go-bag lives in the back of the Merc, so I’ve already been down in my disheveled dress clothes and brought toiletries and street clothes back up. I left the tiny box in the car. It seems too much now, especially after getting Javier to comp two dinners.

Myf leans naked against a door frame with a cuppa and I look at her, impressed. I would never, but if I spill it hurts four chests.

She smiles lazily and then takes a gulp. “You’re awfully dressed.”

“You don’t like my outfit?” It’s pretty standard Eliza: black trousers, pink top, cardigan.

“I don’t like it on you…” she grins and gestures her head back to the bed. I smile and toss my lippy back in the bag.

“Hmmm…well as I mentioned last night, there is yet one more test we should run.” I kiss her nose and slide my hand around her waist. “For science.”

“Ah, yes, for Science.” She nods severely, making her face serious.

“I was going to suggest I come by late afternoon, but it seems as though …” she moves her hand between our hips. “God, I can’t believe you’re not sated. I feel so good.”

“Actually, I’m still sleepy. If you leave to swap out, I’ll probably conk back out.” She gives me a more chaste kiss.

“Tea time, then?” She looks at the clock, it’s already late morning.

“Oooh, will it be?” She laughs at a joke I don’t get.

“I guess so…we just said it?” She keeps laughing and puts her hands up like a time-out.

“Tea time? T-time?” I roll my eyes, feeling less ashamed of not getting the joke since it was a bad one. “It makes the most sense. I mean, the effects were worst with him, right? And he feels the physicality most?”

I shrug. It was exactly what I was thinking, but from last night, Alex could give him a run for his money. That body’s probably spent, though, considering.

“Those were my thoughts, yes. Great minds.” She reaches out for my hand and links our pinkies.

“Then can he come sooner? Like… brunch time?”

“T-time, brunch time, make up your mind, woman.”

“Por que no los dos?”

One more naked-Myf kiss and I’m off.

\---

While Eliza and Teddy car-swap, I send Robert back to the jeweler. It doesn’t have to be now, and it doesn’t have to be him. But it’s in my mind and he has long slender fingers. Hers may be slightly more delicate, but this time, I’ll buy something which can be sized, unlike the other two.

Is three too many? Does it scream there needs to be a fourth? If I spread them out, will she notice?

Despite their best sales techniques, I know what I want, thanks to some undercover work I did years ago. Her romper reminded me of it, but I don’t want it to match. A chrome tourmaline with “strong pleochroism”; I walk to the counter and order it like it’s fast food, but of course, there are two full trays to go through.

Still sorting through them nearly an hour later, I’m hit with a wave of dizziness so bad I need to lean my weight against the glass counter – a severe jewelry faux pas. My vision swims, a touch of long hair brushes my shoulders, I feel the weight of a yoga mat beneath me. Dammit. T-time.

I stammer apologies to the jeweler, offer to clean the counter, but I must look truly awful because soon I’m in a chair with a bottle of water and a cool cloth. Within moments I’m alright, but any thoughts I had of backing out on a sale have departed. I don’t usually let anyone guilt me into a purchase due to my behavior, and Windex exists, but I also dropped some gems and the color of the carpet is making it difficult to locate them. I recover while the clerks re-fill the trays, apologizing the whole while.

I spot a stray stone winking at me from an odd angle, overlooked by the staff. “Wait wait wait wait,” I say quickly as a foot is about to come down. I kneel and reach it, and of course it’s the perfect one. Before my spell, I was beginning to think this wasn’t going to be casual and simple the way the others were. In my hand, the small oval flashes green, yellow-green, and blue-green, depending on the angle of the light.

I choose a simple slanted setting, sized and angled for her index finger, so it will move more than the rest of her hand. Catch her eye more often.

Think of me more often.

Still, it’s not an overly precious stone. Altogether the three rings don’t even cost as much as the dress I bought her for our salsa date. And she’ll wear them more often, I hope. They’re nice, casual rings that she can wear with outfits. To work. On dates.

No pressure, right?


	11. Thirty-eight weeks out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A month past the 10-week celebration, it's only a month until the actual anniversary of her brain-wipe. Myfanwy/Anwyn is focused on the transition from Checquy to XVO, so she's stayed in town. One lazy Saturday, both Myf and Gestalt each get big news.  
\--  
Sitting up, she whirls her head around, taking in the stillness of my bodies and the expressionless stares. I’m not certain all of mes are even breathing. It’s her turn to look panicked, I’m not certain she even knows what she did. She touches her own hands, presumably to see if she discharged her EVA in frustration without knowing it. Last night she took Bedford’s meds before coming to bed, and sometimes it makes her less aware of using her power.

I look up from cooking something lunchish on a Saturday, at Myf’s place like usual, when I realize there’s an “at usual” to be like. My four mouths curl up at the corners just slightly. I’m on the couch with her snuggling, Eliza’s pinky curled around like usual, monitoring an op on a tablet, and doing yoga on a mat I set up in the panic room. She joins me sometimes, but today the call of the GBBO was too strong.

To her credit, she does have a stack of mail on top of a stack of files on top of the table in front of her that she’s ignoring. I stretch out Eliza and slightly nudge the papers as I shift her weight.

“Gestalt, it’s Saturrrdayyyy,” she whines, shooting daggers at both Eliza and Robert who are the only ones within eyeline.

“Dunno wotcher talkin bowt,” I call from the kitchenette.

She huffs, picking up at least the mail and swatting Eliza’s ankle as she leans back. “Nothing’s an accident with you, don’t even try that with me,” she grins as she rips open the first envelope very un-meticulously. All other things equal, ok, some other things equal, Anywn is not as persnickety about things like letter-openers…or paying bills early…as Myf was. A stack of raggedly-torn envelopes piles up on the table in front of her, but the bills are neatly stacked and sorted by due-date. Like I said, some things being equal.

I finish Alex’s last pose and bring the recycle bin out from under the computer. She sweeps the detritus away absent-mindedly while focused intensely on a paper in her hand. For the first time in a long time, the lights flicker just a tiny bit. A huge smile breaks out on her face and I turn everyone except Teddy toward her – burners are lit, ¾ of my attention will have to do.

“It’s here… it’s… real…” I shift Eliza again and look over her shoulder.

“Is that your deed poll?” I ask, bringing Alex and Robert over to the couch. Her million-watt smile is the answer, though I already knew. “Congratulations, Anwyn – it’s official, you’re a new you!” I use Robert and Eliza. No matter how much I practice, it still sounds clunky in Alex and Teddy’s mouths. Most times it comes out sounding like ‘onion’ – and it isn’t very celebratory to have one’s new name mispronounced. Although she’s making happy squealing noises, she notices the identicals haven’t spoken. I try to distract her with a kiss from Alex.

It works for a minute.

“What’s going on?” she asks, breaking the kiss. “Are you angry? You said when I told you that you weren’t upset.” I shake three heads, still putting the finishing touches on the cheese toasties Teddy’s making and keeping the soup from boiling. “Ok, you’re not angry I changed my name… but what – you don’t like it?”

Three smiles try to comfort her and Eliza holds up a pinky for a legitimate swear. “Anwyn is a beautiful name, and I am very happy you are finding your new self.” She looks from Eliza to Alex, and her eyes narrow.

“Gestalt, have Alex say you like my new name.”

“I love your new name,” Alex says, obligingly.

“Argh! You know what I mean. Say it.”

“It.” Alex’s grin could win over even that dour biddy from the elevator.

“You are such a prat!” She starts emphatically beating Alex’s arm with the deed poll. “Say my new name.”

“Anwyn is a lovely name,” I say as Robert.

Her noise of frustration is so prolonged and exaggerated, it is difficult to keep four straight faces, so Teddy laughs silently into the soup, wiping his giggle-tears out of his eye with the back of his hand.

“AlexElizaRobertTeddy Lucretia Louisa Anaphalaxis Ramirez Toussaint deLaaive Gestalt –“ she does this when she’s feeling particularly teased, make up extra middle names for my bodies – “do _not_ make me regret falling in love with you.” She flounces dramatically back onto the couch, red-faced and laughing but clearly confused and frustrated. It takes her a moment to notice that there is no. more. sound. in the flat.

Dead silence.

Blank faces.

Teddy was already turning off the burners when she said it but I can’t bring myself to turn him around to face her. The tears that started as giddy are continuing – still happy, but also shocked, and afraid, and slightly panicked.

She knows. She knows how long I’ve waited to hear those words from that mouth. Decades.

Sitting up, she whirls her head around, taking in the stillness of my bodies and the expressionless stares. I’m not certain all of mes are even breathing. It’s her turn to look panicked, I’m not certain she even knows what she did. She touches her own hands, presumably to see if she discharged her EVA in frustration without knowing it. Last night she took Bedford’s meds before coming to bed, and sometimes it makes her less aware of using her power.

Robert gets his breath back first, but his voice is soft when I say it.

“Since when?”

Anwyn gets up, walks to Robert, and puts her hand on his face. I don’t think I’ve been this non-responsive since the day I had sex with her the first time and she couldn’t get Teddy to answer.

“Since when… what…?”

I can’t take it. She doesn’t even realize. I yank Teddy’s cooking towel off his Henley-clad shoulder and he leaves the flat in sockfeet, only slamming the door a little. I focus on his breath and take him to do some stairs while the rest of the conversation happens.

“Since whennavya been in love wit me?” Alex’s voice is smaller than it has maybe ever been; he takes a step forward but the table is between us. Eliza sits down, heavily, in the chair nearest her.

“Gestalt, you know I love you,” she looks at each of me and three breaths hitch at the same moment I develop arrhythmia. She hasn’t said that before. I use each body to look at each other body and then back at her. Robert’s face is enjoining, Eliza’s is astonished and Alex looks as if he just discovered life on the moon.

How do singletons ever know what face they’re making?

Anwyn is trying to dismiss it, her face still jovial.

“You’ve not said it,” I use Eliza to say. “Maybe you thought you did, or expected me to know, but you’ve not said it and the one time I did, you re-framed it.”

“Well, come on then, how many nights have we spent apart this month? Like, three? And one was because all of you were on assignment.”

I slide Robert’s hands around her waist and look her in the eyes. “There were five. And you know it’s not the same as saying it.” Her eyes dart around and her pulse picks up. “I’m not cross,” Alex says as I move him behind her and take her shoulders. “It’s just a surprise,” says Eliza, as I bring her to Anwyn’s side. Teddy’s three floors down and not a safe bet yet, so I have him do a few more flights. This square will have to stay open on one side. She looks to the empty side and I shrug Robert’s shoulder. “It was quite a shock. Let me have a moment.”

Anwyn turns her head and kisses Eliza, caressing Alex and Robert’s cheeks gently.

Alex pulls her hand away after a moment. “Will y’answer the question?” I gently herd her toward the couch, and she allows it. We sit down in a tangle, with Robert on the floor, resting his head on her knee. She goes to twist Eliza’s pinky but I take her whole hand.

“There was a morning, right before last weekend. I was at yours, cuddled between Eliza and Robert,” she runs a hand across Robert’s stubble, “and you woke up like normal, getting your bodies out of bed and going about your routine.” I cringe; before I’ve had my first cuppa, it’s hard for me to un-sync, or even have a conversation. Anwyn figured that out after a few mornings, but I’d rather have normal times like couples do: hitting the snooze bar, kiss-attacking your partner awake, just a regular old lie-in with maybe some morning-sex. “I’ve seen it before, plenty of times, but it was so beautiful – so…_you_…and I just felt warm and smiley all over and it just felt _right_.”

Her smile is shy now, and a glance proves that all three of me look gobsmacked. Teddy grabs the bannister and I launch him down, all the way down, to the lobby. In his socks. “Oi. Will!” the porter looks up from his station and grins. He likes Teddy best, for some reason. “Got a lost and found in there?” Will cocks his head to the side. “Got any type of shoe – at all?” The two men open a cupboard door behind the station and take inventory.

Back in the flat, I’m encouraging her to keep going – that can’t be all there is, right? “So the fact that I’m silent and grumpy in the mornings…” A laugh snorts out of the side of her mouth, as we both probably remember the first time she tried to get one of the showers to herself between the two shifts. 

“It was two things. One – I like my space. But right then, in that moment and most of them since, I haven’t wanted that space. There’s not really a time when I don’t want you around.” She looks right into Eliza’s eyes at that. “And two,” turning her head, she digs a hand through Alex’s curls and I sigh slowly, “whenever I’ve felt something that strongly – for the past ten months – a memory from Myfanwy’s life follows. Sometimes right away, sometimes it takes a while.” Her demeanor gets more still and she brings her hands into her lap, crosses her arms. I get nervous and start exchanging glances again. She bites her lip and blushes. “But this time, I went looking for it. I waited, I imagined, I stilled myself and tried to find it. But nothing came.” A heaving breath leaves her body in a huge exhale. She looks at me, beaming.

Is that it?

That can’t be it.

She takes my hands, silently.

Teddy looks up from the flip-flops he’s sliding his feet into and folding his socks into his pocket. Sod it, they’re filthy anyway. I chuck them into the bin outside Anwyn’s building.

Still silence in the flat.

“You’re going to have to help me out, Myf-shit-Anwyn,” I have Robert say, looking up at her, plaintively. “I have no fuckin idea wot vat means.” Alex’s eyebrows are raised so high they’re nearly invisible.

Anwyn looks back and forth among my faces. She gestures with her head like she’s expecting me to come to the same conclusion. I look back at her with three times the confusion.

“It means it was _my_ feeling, Gestalt. It wasn’t some residue or ghost of Christmas past. I was in that moment. And my feelings were so strong that I expected to trigger a flashback to yet another ‘Gestalt & Myfanwy’s Greatest Hits’ of some other time we all woke up together, or I was so in love with you that it hurt, but instead it was just how I feel.” Another round of expectant looks. “Me.” Glances. “About you.”

Eliza is the first to smile, and she’s rewarded with Anwyn leaning over for a kiss. I pull her onto my female lap, and move Robert around to the side Alex isn’t on. Surrounding her, I nuzzle and kiss all the sides of her face. Robert naturally holds all my doubts and second-guesses, but in this moment, I just want to enjoy it.

“I love you, too,” comes out of Alex’s mouth and Robert pauses. Eliza murmurs softly but I intentionally make it so there’s no way to know exactly what she said.

Teddy’s hailed a cab. “Hatton Garden,” are the only words I manage.


	12. Forty-two weeks: Founder's Feast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the day of Founder's Feast and the anniversary is bringing up a lot of big feels for Gestalt.  
\--  
“if…if…for any reason…if you think anything – memory-related or not – is going to happen to you tonight…I need you to trust me and tell me right away.” I squeeze her hand tightly. “Please.”
> 
> I can see in her face that she wants to laugh but she is determined not to. She lets out a long, slow breath. A gentle smile marks her face.
> 
> “Gestalt. I promise. If I feel threatened or nervous or even slightly weird, I will let you know immediately.”

The morning of Founder’s Feast, I lay staring at Anwyn for about a half-hour before she wakes, thinking about the events of the past year. It’s not all I’m doing – when we’re at hers, I usually send one body to sleep on the couch and another to the panic room, then when it looks like she’s stirring, we all sardine in on her regular Queen-sized bed. Also makes it easier to get compartmentalized: one of me can start the tea and get caffeine into those bodies so I don’t have to do the zombie ballet.

Robert and Teddy are flanking her and Eliza and Alex set down their mugs to slide in on either side. She laugh-groans as we squeeze together tightly, immobilizing and surrounding her with four sets of arms. She looks into Robert’s eyes and gives me a kiss on the cheek. I’m sure all my faces are drawn and pale, I’ve been up for hours, filled with nerves and dread.

“Anwyn?” I have Robert take her hand and Teddy slide his arm around her waist. She looks up, waking up, blinking her attention at me. “I want you to promise me something.” Moving her head around, she rubs her eyes and mumbles a thing. “It’s a serious thing but I’m sure you will laugh at me,” her confusion is becoming more focused, “if…_if_…for any reason…if you think _anything –_ memory-related or not – is going to happen to you tonight…I need you to trust me and tell me right away.” I squeeze her hand tightly. “_Please_.”

I can see in her face that she wants to laugh but she is determined not to. She lets out a long, slow breath. A gentle smile marks her face.

“Gestalt. I promise. If I feel threatened or nervous or even slightly weird, I will let you know immediately.” She laces her fingers through Robert’s with the hand pinned to the bed, and reaches past him with her other to take Eliza’s. I have Alex reach across Teddy to her shoulder. Her next words are solemn, with eye contact, “And I want you to promise me that you will trust in me that I can defend myself. Be there if I need you, but…” she pauses, looking down and then up again, “try to have a good time until then.” She squeezes my hands back. “Can you promise me that?”

The words _I do_ are on the tip of my tongue, I’m so in this serious moment, but my breath catches and I divert to, “I can promise that.” We seal it with a kiss, and there’s something ritualistic and final about it, deeper than our usual pillow talk.

“Now, can I wake up fully, or do you need more reassurance that I’m not going to wander off and lose my mind at the Feast tonight?”

“Why not both?” I joke, as Alex, before I help her recharge her batteries, as it were. I wriggle Teddy and Robert out of bed, moving them around to perform morning tasks and get caffeine, while Eliza and Alex make sure she gets the boost of energy that she needs to get through this long and rough day.

Moving Robert silently, I slip into the walk-in closet to try and see her outfit for tonight. It’s zipped in a garment bag, which I begin to open with a scarf wrapped around my fist to muffle the sound, she calls out from the bed, “Don’t even… THINK… abooowwwwwt…” I try my best to distract her words, but she pushes my body away from her, sits up and says, “It’s a surprise. Zip it back up!” before returning her attention to the me on the bed.

I saw enough to understand she has a lapel, and that is all I need. Teddy hands Robert a plastic thermal mug, and I exit the flat, leaving Teddy behind to make breakfast.

After an enthusiastic shower, we sit at the table together around croque madames with sugared fruit and coffee. Anwyn will have so many things to do for the Feast, I don’t know if she’ll get another good meal before the party.

“When ya gotta leave?” I ask, looking at the clock.

“Oh, I probably have about an hour. We can take our time, but I have some errands before I’m needed at the venue.” I nod a few heads. “Did Robert get to eat before you left?”

“I have a few errands of my own. He grabbed something on the way to the tube.”

“You know, I’ve practiced my speech in front of you, but Conrad said he is expecting a few words from you, too. Do you have something written?”

“Ah… yeah, I’m still fine-tuning. I have a couple things planned, might change depending on what others say.” I get uncomfortable, red fills Teddy’s cheeks and I kick myself under the table. I change the subject quickly. “I been…ahhh…practicin’ yer name.” I breathe out slowly and say it with each of the identicals’ mouths: a guttural “Onnn-wun,” and nasally “Annnn-winnn”. I shake my head and blush harder, that will cover it. “Still not so great,” they say in unison. “Are you sure I can’t give ya a nickname?”

An encouraging smile comes from across the table. “You’ll get it; I know you will. I’m not worried about what other people think.”

“Annie?” says Alex.

“Anya?” says Teddy

“Onion?” grins Eliza, whose pronunciation of the proper name is perfect anyway.

Anwyn rolls her eyes. “Keep trying. If only Robert or Eliza say it during the speech, I’m alright with that.”

“Sure, but – I wanter be able t’call ya somefing nice when we’re together. Somefing that’s you.”

“I get that it’s frustrating, and I know it doesn’t really shorten well, the way ‘Myf’ did. But it would mean a lot to me if you kept trying.” Her look is plaintive as she gets up to clear her place. 

“Winnie?” Oh, the look of pure disgust on her face is mirrored in mine. I didn’t realize how horrible it sounded until I said it.

“No, thank you.”

“Wy –“ another kick of myself and I snap Alex’s mouth shut. In my attempt to joke, I almost said too much. “Wine?” Her eyes narrow as if she suspects something. Shit.

“Alice?” We all laugh. Alice is still her car’s name. Personally, I think the car should be allowed to develop its own personality and she should reclaim her middle name, but that debate point went nowhere the last time I brought it up.

She laughs and puts her dish in the sink, rinsing it and wiping her hands.

“I really wish I could arrive with you tonight,” she says, leaning back against the sink as I bring my dishes over. I have to lean in and reach around her to place them under the water, and she kisses Teddy’s neck as he does so. A low growl escapes his throat and I lift her up by her armpit, sliding her hips to the counter ledge. My eyes flick at the clock, and I reluctantly slide her thigh back down and place her on the ground. She breathes out slowly. “I’m sorry that it won’t be possible, with me getting there early.” I nod softly, trying to keep the disappointment off my face.

Teddy’s trying to regulate his breathing, so I say with Eliza, “Well, since we still haven’t had the vetting conversation, it’s probably for the best.” I’m not hurt about this, but Anwyn’s posture stiffens.

“I know, I know. It’s just with opening the XVO building on Monday, it made more sense to me to have the conversation with the new HR department. Once we’re free of the government regulations, the interview will be much less…intrusive.”

“I get it, Ahnn,” I say with Alex; she only winces slightly, “I def don wanna go frew how many ways I’ve had you, considerin how many ways it’s possible as me.” I give a cheeky grin and move in to kiss her under the ear. Changing to a whisper, he says, “But I can’t wait t’see how stunnin ya’ll look.” Teddy chimes in, “And you _will_ be on my arm as much as possible.” She pushes past him and goes to Eliza.

“Or you’ll be on mine,” and gives her a quick peck.

“Share and share alike,” I reply. “After all, it would be hard to justify a Queen dating a Rook, but starting tomorrow, we’ll be partners.” We all smile, her into Eliza’s eyes, at that thought.

\---

An hour later, I’m all back at my flat, trying to relax in the hours before the Feast begins. I look through the email with the “C-Suite” seating arrangements at the head table. She and Conrad are at either end, with two of me flanking each of them, which still makes me feel like she is his partner and I am below, regardless of what we’ve all been told. Ingrid and Aldrich are seated between the pairs of me. I consider assigning myself seats, and mentally try out various combinations. Robert plays around with the configurations with real chairs in the dining room.

Teddy’s trying to unwind in the bath and Alex is meditating. Eliza is in the bedroom, staring at four small, opened boxes. I switch to pacing. As I walk past them, I close each one. Take a deep breath in. Walk back, opening them.

A: “It doesn’t have to be tonight.”

E: “I want it to be tonight.”

R: “If it’s tonight, people will see. It’s not really any of their business.”

T: “If people see, we’ll have nuffing to hide.”

E: “She’s in love with me.”

R: “I thought so before, and she left.”

E: “She never said it before, I just thought it was true.”

A: “She’s tryin really hard to make up fer the leavin part.”

T: “What else can I ask her to do to make up fer it?”

R: “I can give it more time. It’s only been a month.”

E: “A month since she said she’s in love with me – four and a half months since she made amends.”

T: “An we’ve been togevver ever since.”

A: “A year since this all started.”

R: “A year of horrible tragedy and emotional roller coaster and being together and breaking up _multiple times_.”

E: “A year and I’m still here.”

R: “I’m still here because there’s nowhere else to be. Do you even know if you love Anwyn? Or do you still love Myf?”

A: “Can I know that?”

T: “How can I know that?”

E: “Can you separate them, completely?”

R: “She does.”

E: “And she doesn’t.”

A: “She remembers.”

T: “She’s in love wit me.”

A: “This morning…that promise…it meant somefink.”

R: “Did it? Or was she just humoring you?”

E: “She was and she wasn’t. She treated it as valid, and she asked for consideration in return.”

R: “Do I love her?”

T: “Don’t I?”

R: “Can you trust her?”

E: “She wants to be trusted.”

A: “I wanna trust her.”

T: “I love her an I trust her.”

R: “But _do_ you?”

I’m drying off Teddy when the front door opens. Robert swings the bedroom door shut while Eliza sweeps the boxes into a dresser drawer. Alex runs out of the exercise room, and Teddy walks by in his towel. A moment later, Eliza comes out, only somewhat conspicuously.

“You really should lock your door, Gestalt.” Alex hugs her and gives her a cheek kiss.

“Har har, you have a key Ahn-when.” I pull on a track jacket over Teddy’s towel-skirt and her eyes dart appreciatively over that body as I do. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” “Don’t you have Checquy obligations right now?” I accidentally speak over myself and she grins.

“Don’t get dressed on my account,” she says slyly, “I’m on my way, but my errands included picking these things up and I wanted to run them by to you.” She hands over a slick matte-black shopping bag. “You don’t have to wear them, but I thought maybe they might work for you?”

Inside the bag was an assortment of green items: some lovely lacquered barrettes, a long silk scarf, a cummerbund, and a green watchband for a smartwatch.

I grab the barrettes with Alex and start fixing them into his hair. Eliza takes the scarf and wraps it around her waist. Anwyn swats my bicep and rolls her eyes. “Interesting,” I say, “I also got you something to wear to mark you as mine for tonight…” Robert’s words roll smoothly off his tongue, “but unfortunately, I will have to wait until the gala to give it to you.”

Anwyn screws up her eyes and moves her mouth to the side. “Interesting, indeed…” she says. “Well, then. We all have things to do, so I’ll be off,” she flicks her eyes to half-wet Teddy again, “but I look forward to being branded.” She snorts and rolls her eyes.

“Get on, ya tosser!” Alex jeers as she exits, while she sticks out her tongue. “Very regal, yer highness,” I call as the door closes behind her. 

“Not a queen!” she calls from in the hall.

I re-examine the items, swapping them to the correct bodies. Teddy’s cummerbund is such a dark green it almost looks black, but a glint of color appears in the light. The watchband is a twin to her own, matching the pistachio color of her favorite shoes. The barrettes are made of wood, but of a color and smoothness that appears like jade. And the scarf is a deep emerald hue that turns Roberts eyes almost cerulean. “Looks like she doesn’t mind being seen…”  
“Together.” I exhale slowly with four sets of lungs and genuine, slow smiles tug at my faces. I open the drawer and take out the boxes again.

Teddy and Eliza run for the toilets and empty their stomachs. Robert only ate a croissant, but the Alex body isn’t nervous.

After that, I turn all of me in for a nap.

\---

I scatter upon arrival at the Feast, entering from different doors to see if I can find Anwyn. Each small box is secreted on my persons; I don’t know for certain that she remembers last year but she’s hinted at it a few times, and she did say Farrier filled her in. Maybe I’ll be able to steal her away to the coat closet to speak with her. But for now, for her visible “brand”, Robert has the larger box in his hand.

Alex spots her near the kitchen, discussing something with a caterer. I catch her eye and start maneuvering toward that door; from above it must look like a capture and detain op. At least two of me chuckle at that.

I thought I was past being stunned by her appearance, but both her fashion sense and her accessories stop me in my tracks. Her top appears to be a corseted vest, with lace trim along the bodice. The vest is the same dark green as Teddy’s cummerbund, and it leads up to a wide satin ribbon tied under her chin in the same emerald as Robert’s scarf. She has a black tailored tux coat, taken in to accentuate her waist, and I can see she’s wearing her green watchband. One large barrette holds back her severely smoothed hair, matching the two smaller ones in Eliza’s. The vest points take my eyes to a long, slim black skirt with a very steep – but narrow – slit hinting at what I know to be a lovely long leg. She’s even wearing black sandals with a kitten heel.

I am thrilled that she’s chosen to declare herself paired with me, but I also want to put on a finishing touch of my own. It was much too difficult to find all of these elements together; I hope she appreciates it as much as I love our matching accent pieces. She sees me – all of mes – stopped and staring and gestures with her head to come closer. Robert takes point.

Without a word, he slides the inner sleeve from the black box in his hand. What began as a boutonniere of one white-blonde rose grew and took shape so it will curve around most of the lapel. A white mum lightly tinged with yellow peeks out from behind the rose, and a very small orchid climbs downwards. As accents, two sprigs of lily-of-the-valley stretch up and down. I admit, it’s a little busy – but I wanted each part there. She lifts it out of the box and her fingers touch each type of flower, glancing at each body it’s meant to represent. Eliza’s lithe fingers attach the piece to Anwyn’s jacket with three different pins.

“Aren’t we a pair?” Anwyn breathes, taking in all of me, dressed in my various evening wear, with each piece she selected – properly worn. Eliza takes her arm and turns toward the ballroom. From the other side, I sling Alex’s arm casually over her shoulder. Teddy takes point this time, my face daring anyone to make a remark, and Robert follows behind, enjoying the spectacle. But when we get to the dance floor, he takes over, and leads her through an actual waltz, while most of the employees do a fifth-form shuffle to the slow song playing.

“This feels a little out of place for the environment,” Anwyn says, blushing slightly, “Maybe Alex or Teddy should cut in?”

I smile Robert’s dazzling best and raise his eyebrows. “If you like, but I’d prefer to set an example. We are C-Suite, after all. We should lead with style.” She shakes her head and leans in to my body slightly. “Speaking of, I hope you don’t think the corsage is too ostentatious...”

Shaking her head, she replies, “It’s bigger than I’d choose, but I love what it says.” Eliza cuts in and smoothly assumes the lead. “Reading flower meanings, this is an entire novel – it would need to be large.” Eliza’s eyelids flutter, I hadn’t realized she’d understand all the layers of the gift so quickly.

“And your gifts are their own book,” I say after recovering. “I hadn’t realized we would be matching tonight.” I give her outfit an appreciative look. “And as much as I love what you’re in, darling…it just makes me want to take it off.” She shrugs and the pink doesn’t leave her cheeks.

“They’re just some things I picked up over time,” She looks back up and into my eyes. “I was trying to find a time to give them to you, and it just snowballed. Really the only thing I had to pick up today was Teddy’s cummerbund, which my tailor used in order to dye my vest.”

I dip her, only slightly exaggeratedly, giving her a quick glimpse of Eliza’s décolletage. “Interesting you should mention…” Teddy cuts in and the dance becomes a simpler box-step; I did manage to keep the identicals in a whole day of dance lessons, they can do the basics. “I fink I can relate.” My nerves increase exponentially – it’s kind of like what happened to the rings. A small thing that took on more meaning as time passed. I release her hand and pat my inner pocket reflexively. Should I? So early?

The song ends and the pace picks up. I pogo Alex in but after a silly laugh, it’s clear Anwyn’s not up for it this early in the evening. I offer her his arm and we go off in search of a drink. Rum & coke for Alex, Tonic & lime for Anwyn – at least until things are moving along smoothly. I am thinking about continuing the conversation, steering her toward the coat closet, but so many people are still arriving, it’s a madhouse.

Anwyn sees a few people she should greet and looks up at Alex’s face. “I’m glad we got in a dance, but I really should mingle. Do you want to …stay? Be introduced?” We both look down at Alex – his polo is tailored silk and his jacket has a collar but also a zip, and he’s wearing his dress trainers.

“Yeah, maybe not the best foot forward, is it?” I smile quickly; if I _wanted _to mingle, Teddy would be the best pairing, but I honestly don’t. “I’ll have Teddy come find ya whenne ken get away from whatever suit is yammerin at im.” I kiss her on the cheek and slide back as Grantchester approaches.

“Gestalt _does_ have something prepared, don’t they?” I hear as I make my escape. I flit through the three different speeches – from too little to too much – in my mind. We’ll just have to see, won’t we?

The evening drags, with me sending different bodies to check on Anwyn sporadically, bringing her tonic with increasingly more gin. Every time, she introduces me as, “My partner, Gestalt,” and I find myself more confused and more proud and more nervous. Business or personal partner? Both? Does she know? Does it matter?

“Teddy, yer glowin’,” comes a voice from my left elbow. I smile into his whisky, raising my eyebrows as I sip. “It’s interesting, the color Myf—Anwyn, I’ll get used to it – is wearin, innit?” Ingrid has a coy smile in her voice.

“Why Rook Woodhouse, I dunno wotcher implyin’…” I say and change the subject to how lovely Ingrid looks. I move Robert in and escort her to the dance floor, deftly maneuvering her and the conversation away from anything interpersonal.

The dinner is high-spirited, all of us in one place doesn’t happen incredibly often but we do genuinely enjoy each other’s company. All my consideration of seating didn’t matter – Conrad and Anwyn took their seats and I just fell into whatever was nearest. Aldrich spent the entire dinner with a shit-eating grin on his face, inserting little puns about rings and bands into the conversation whenever he could. Stupid fucking vampire powers; no amount of under-the-table kicking or dirty looks could deter him. And admittedly, sometimes my under-the-table attention was diverted.

At one such point during the meal, Anwyn has Robert’s hand under the table, and she turns to Alex. “On the dance floor, you said something, Gestalt. Something about understanding how the little gifts snowballed?” Shit, she’s caught on. Why can’t the old naval officer keep his mouth shut? Loose lips sinking ships, yanno? I glare at Aldrich with Eliza and he just smirks.

“Which is?” I ask with Alex, and divert my attention to a different conversation, pretending I have no idea what she’s talking about. She knows I can’t lie with that face, so she …commands my attention. I turn him back to her. “You were sayin?”

“I was,” she replies. “I just want you to know. I bought the first one back when we first got together – almost ten months ago. I saw the barrettes and thought of Eliza. I kept imagining you wearing them.” She gives a small laugh that seems painful. “I bought Alex’s watchband in the train station on the way to Zagreb.” She looks up and squeezes Robert’s hand forcefully. “It hurt so much – and I didn’t know if you’d ever talk to me again and I knew it was my doing – but even in my leaving, I couldn’t imagine life without you.” I can’t help it. Tears prick at each of my eyes. I let out four heavy, slow exhalations. “I just couldn’t admit it right then, but you’re all through my past, and I know you’ll be in the rest of my future.”

Eliza and Robert begin blinking, tears threatening at their eyelashes. Teddy’s jaw and fist clenches and his hand flies to his coat pocket and his chair pushes back, I’m not even thinking about what I’m doing. I shake Robert’s head; I can’t do it now. Not at the table. It’s too public. She’ll feel cornered.

As the feast gets cleared away and we move into the great hall, the administrators hang back, making sure all the XVO employees have champagne before we clink the glasses and begin the speeches. Grantchester’s is the first and the longest.

“It’s tradition that the Checquy King make the only speech, and that it be sufficiently reverent and harken back to the days of the Founders. But we find ourselves in a new situation – and a new Founding, as it were. On Monday, we’ll officially move into a new building and begin our work free of government regulation, as the private company: XVO.” Polite applause follows.

“We have with us tonight not only the Checquy employees of decades past, but new employees of a new company. We’ll need to find new ways to do things, new language to refer to people and their capabilities, and new understandings of what it means to be human. In that spirit, I want to confirm what you may have heard: we are leaving behind the language of ‘The Court’ and moving forward with a more conventional corporate structure.” Some rumblings and murmurs spread through the crowd.

“This is just one more change at the end of year full of turmoil and tumult. Everything is already in upheaval – I don’t need to go into details, most of you lived it – so I’d like to demarcate this day as the line between old and new.” The murmuring turns somber, if it can.

“With that in mind, I’d like to present to you the administrative team of XVO: old faces with new titles, not a crown or sword among them. A detailed memo will be sent on Monday, but for now know that each reports only to me, who will from now own be referred to as CEO of XVO. As I introduce them, each will be saying a few words, so I thank you for your extended attention.”

“Chief Financial Officer: Ingrid Woodhouse.” Ing rolls forward and says a sentence or two about being new but having been groomed for the position by the best possible person. It’s short and sweet.

“Chief Communications Officer: Pelham Aldrich.” My close colleague and fixer is perfect for the job, as he easily wins people over with his quick speech – possibly mesmerizing them in the process.

“Chief Security Officer: Gestalt.” Aldrich didn’t mention being a vampire during his words, he just was himself, but there’s no hiding my mes from the new employees.

As all four step forward, Conrad clarifies, “For the sake of our budget and for optics, Eliza Gestalt will be the face of the CSO, but know that each wield equal power.”

I stumble, because my remarks were going to sound best from Alex – win people over with his easy manner – but I plaster a smile on Eliza’s face and try to switch to my second-choice speech. It’s slightly wooden and bland, so I just stop abruptly. Anwyn winces slightly; I’ll have to get better at that.

“And because it has been a matter of so much speculation, competition, and even trauma, I would like to say it at least once: your Chief Organizational Officer, QUEEN Anwyn Thomas.”

Oh, her face flames incredibly red immediately and she turns shyly away at the shoulders as the room explodes into volcanic applause. She puts up her hands to deflect the clapping. After a moment, she begins talking through her tearful laughter.

“Thank you, that really – it really means a lot that you all are in support of me and where I’ve ended up after such a very difficult year.” More applause. She has to raise her voice. “BUT! But I can’t – I don’t want a title above anyone. I want everyone to consider us _equal partners_ –“ she turns her head and makes fierce and focused eye contact with me, “and instead of following us into the future, let’s walk there, _together_.”

It’s beautiful and amazing to hear such enthusiasm for her after the polite acknowledgment the rest of us got. The clapping and whoops and catcalls keep going and I’m swept up in the outpouring of love being shown for the love of my life. I’m not even thinking before Teddy raises his voice even louder, above the clamor.

“Settle down, settle down! I got somefink to say!” Anwyn’s face whips around and the blood drains from it. Robert takes over. “It’s amazing to see how much you love Anwyn. She’s had an incredible year, and I don’t think as many of us would be as proud of where we work and who we are, if it weren’t for her.” More applause, quieted again by Teddy. “An it’s been kinda an open secret,” says Alex, “vat as much as you love ‘er – “ Eliza steps forward, cutting through the crowd with an intense glare, daring a challenge, “I love her more.”

The room falls entirely silent. I swear not a single person is breathing, but many heads are turning, exchanging significant glances.

Teddy starts in again. “If she _was_ yer Queen – an if I was still a Rook – I’d step down,” I drop Teddy to one knee, “so I could pledge my fealty t’her, as a knight, as her personal guard.” I raise his arm out toward her, and she takes my hand, as if to kiss it. My other bodies have moved around between her and the crowd, surrounding her in a semi-circle. I stand Teddy up. “But she ain’t Queen. An she ain’t need a guard – if you haven’t heard dat yet, you should know it.” I face Teddy toward her and let Robert continue. “So, with that in mind, as equal partners, I want to ask you:” I let myself un-sync, moving as one. I reach into all my pockets, pull out the four boxes, and open them simultaneously. Eliza says, “Anwyn,” continuing as Alex, “Thomas,” Robert asks, “Will you,” and Teddy finishes, “Marry me?”

Each body has one ring, the one I picked out as each body. Teddy had to go last because his is the only one which could look like an engagement ring: a square-cut emerald with a row of small diamonds on either long side. The ring I got at Hatton Garden when I left the apartment the day she said she was in love with me. The ring that took five jewelers four hours to find before I was satisfied. The ring I wasn’t sure I would give her tonight.

The ring that everyone is craning to see while no one makes a sound while Anwyn is not answering, maybe not breathing, her hand at her throat.

As tears fall quietly down her cheeks, she nods, small at first, and then vigorously, reaching out toward the nearest body – Eliza.

If possible, the applause is even louder than before as Eliza steps forward, putting the small ring dotted with green sapphires on Anwyn’s left pinky. Alex follows with his polka-dot peri-dot ring, which just fits on her left middle finger. Robert slides the angled tourmaline onto her right index finger. Her hand is trembling as I have Teddy place the emerald on her right ring finger, then pull her up into a consuming, passionate kiss which lasts too long for anyone else’s comfort.

People’s hands must be sore and aching but they are not slowing as Anwyn is laughing and crying and kissing each of me on the cheek. When the clapping dies down, finally, Teddy turns around and faces the crowed.

“OI!” I shout, “Vetting officer!” The crowd looks around and eventually members of the new HR department identify themselves. “Didja see that? We good?”

The laughter is nearly as loud as the applause was, and I escort her off the stage.

Conrad’s parting remarks consist of, “Well, at least we’ll all be able to get our coats this year…” which is only met with a few titters. Not many people were still here when that happened last year. Still, I can’t let that stand.

“Vat’s wot you fink!” I have Alex yell as we pointedly exit the ballroom.

Grantchester sighs. “It is a known fact that the party doesn’t get going until the bosses leave. So since half of us are gone already – consider us absent. Everybody have a great night!”

We stop and pose for some engagement photos at the booth, but Anwyn’s face just looks shocked and she keeps staring at her hands. I keep shuffling bodies as the snaps happen, putting different mes near her. To make her smile, I sling Teddy’s arm around her shoulder possessively and say, “Yanno, now I do ‘ave somefink I ken call ya that don’t sound awful when I pronounce it. … Wife.”

She finally breaks out of her shocked stupor with a plosive laugh.

“Don’t you fucking dare.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my bob, this whole thing was a lot longer than I ever imagined. Thank you so much for keeping with it and I really appreciated all the comments along the way!


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